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stoffy97's favorite FMLs
Today, I posted on Facebook saying I'm in a new relationship. One of my buddies said, "You're cheating on Jill?" My girlfriend saw this and went completely nuts, not giving me a chance to explain that "Jill" is just a euphemism for your hand. FML
by jackmehoffa / 04/03/2012 at 2:10pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Love
by exiledliscense / 11/09/2011 at 2:18pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
by jccwell / 09/23/2011 at 12:50pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I have been released from jail because my idiot friends decided to get me a surprise hooker for my birthday. Turns out "Candy" was actually an undercover cop. My friends ditched me. I was the only one arrested. FML
by BlootheBawss / 09/03/2011 at 12:48am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
by anonymous / 08/10/2011 at 12:31am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 07/26/2011 at 12:30am / United States / Intimacy
Today, I caught a cab to take me to a hospital appointment. The driver turned around and told me I was in the Cash Cab. I got really excited and screamed. That is, until she laughed and said, "Just kidding. I always wanted to do that to someone." FML
by Anonymous / 07/15/2011 at 10:06pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
Today, I updated my facebook status to, "Party at my house this Friday. Like my status if you want to come." After about 3 hours I checked back to discover that the only person who'd liked my status was my grandma. FML
by _Emilyy / 07/12/2011 at 12:40am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/14/2011 at 7:40am / Canada (Ontario) / Money
by asdfjkl / 04/15/2011 at 3:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work
Today, I got a letter in the mail saying I'm being sued by the guy that broke into my house last week. When I walked in and saw him, I tackled him, punched him in the face a time or two, and restrained him with zip ties. I now have to pay for his broken nose and face charges of assault. FML
by ShouldHaveLetHimTakeTheTV / 11/07/2009 at 12:01pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/02/2009 at 1:38pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous
Today, I witnessed a horrible car accident and was interviewed by the local news. During the interview I said, "It was terrible. It was like watching a silent movie... but there was sound!" The interview has been aired 6 times. FML
by LadyChristina25 / 06/04/2009 at 9:07pm / United States (Rhode Island) / Miscellaneous
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- 1Today, my religious dad caught my brother jerking off and decided to give us both a lecture about… 2Today, I discovered, after years of being grounded for losing my belongings, that I didn't actually… 3Today, eight tornados hit the town where I live. The only person who tried to get a hold of me and…