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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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stitchers33

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stitchers33
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 9941
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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stitchers33's favorite FMLs

Today, while walking to work, I accidentally dropped my $400 cell phone on the sidewalk. The screen shattered into a million pieces. A woman passing by looked at the ruined phone and said, "Now that's what you call a dropped call!" She laughed and kept walking. FML

#6154190 (251)

I agree, your life sucks (25358) - you deserved it (12095)

On 11/04/2009 at 5:37pm - misc - by Cellismasher (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was texting a girl that I've liked for some time. When I asked her what she was doing, she replied "texting and p.s. I love you". I replied by telling her my feelings for her. Turns out "p.s. I love you" was the name of the movie she was watching with her friends. FML

#5779716 (112)

I agree, your life sucks (30280) - you deserved it (8324)

On 10/11/2009 at 5:24pm - love - by pinoyson (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at the Salvation Army when I saw a wheelchair in the miscellaneous aisle. I thought it would be fun to ride around in it. As I was wheeling it back to where I found it, I made it back just as it's owner was hobbling out of the dressing room. FML

#5703197 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (4719) - you deserved it (32633)

On 10/07/2009 at 1:58pm - misc - by imok (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860 (314)

I agree, your life sucks (96394) - you deserved it (3837)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while I was in the shower I noticed a short, black hair on my loofa. I ignored it and lathered up my entire body with it. When I put it back down, a roach crawled out of it. What I thought was a black hair was in fact its antenna. FML

#5685811 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (29199) - you deserved it (5743)

On 10/06/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, when approaching a stop light on my motorcycle, I went to extend my left leg as usual to balance when stopped. Apparently my shoelace loop got wrapped around the shift lever and "tied" my shoe to the bike. It's hard to look cool when you fall over for no apparent reason at a stoplight. FML

#5682176 (117)

I agree, your life sucks (24560) - you deserved it (5189)

On 10/06/2009 at 1:33pm - misc - by Crotch_Rocket_Rider (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was stopped by a cop while walking down the street. He was slowly trailing me before pulling along side of me and asking how my night was going. He then said, "You know I can't let you do this. Know those new jeans you bought? The sticker is still on the leg" and drove off. FML

#5677989 (132)

I agree, your life sucks (6801) - you deserved it (22477)

On 10/06/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by limecat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got an email from the company that manages my Cat's microchip informing me that I had to update my information that had been entered by the local Humane Society. Apparently, they listed my cat "Coral" as the owner, and me as the pet. To change it, they needed the cat's signature. FML

#5663418 (173)

I agree, your life sucks (38502) - you deserved it (2780)

On 10/05/2009 at 3:23pm - animals - by APetsPet (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was in a video chat with an old friend who I haven't talked to in years, and my mom walks in. The first thing she says is, "Did you close the toilet after you pooped? Cause today on the news I heard that your poop particles can fly up to 25 feet, landing on your toothbrush." FML

#5593248 (74)

I agree, your life sucks (23269) - you deserved it (1828)

On 10/01/2009 at 9:09pm - health - by Poop (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I walked into my brother's house to see him unshaven and still in pyjamas eating ice-cream straight from the tub. I said jokingly, "You're lucky you have your wife, no one else could love you." His wife had just told him she was leaving him for her orthodontist. FML

#5581879 (72)

I agree, your life sucks (28856) - you deserved it (8517)

On 10/01/2009 at 9:19am - love - by FootInMouth (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I had a big exam. 20 minutes in I could feel people turning round looking at me. I ignored them at first, but towards the one hour mark it got more distracting. I stood up and yelled "Why's everyone staring at me!" I got kicked out. Turns out I was seated directly in front of the clock. FML

#5563519 (109)

I agree, your life sucks (5977) - you deserved it (31152)

On 09/30/2009 at 9:36am - misc - by failfailfail - United Kingdom (London)

Today, we ran out of milk and my 4 year old son came up to me and asked if he can "milk" my wife's breasts for his cereals. Apparently, he thinks my wife doesn't love him and his sister is selfish for not sharing her milk. His sister is only one month old. FML

#5560413 (124)

I agree, your life sucks (25713) - you deserved it (2611)

On 09/30/2009 at 1:17am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, in the middle of the night, I was punched in the face by my frightened girlfriend who had just been awakened by her own fart. FML

#5550225 (167)

I agree, your life sucks (51896) - you deserved it (3372)

On 09/29/2009 at 5:21pm - love - by P0wned (man) - France (Bretagne)

Today, I went to my Russian language class after days of being sick. We must speak in Russian. The professor asked how I felt. I said "like shit." I didn't know the word I used was the verb, not the noun. So I told an awesome prof and class I was "feeling like I was in the process of defacating." FML

#5461369 (95)

I agree, your life sucks (7468) - you deserved it (18983)

On 09/25/2009 at 2:18am - misc - by rebel_rose (woman) - United States (Iowa)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I went online to check my credit report. My credit report says that I am deceased, and have no rating. I'm at least 90% sure that this is not true. FML

#5419647 (94)

I agree, your life sucks (29090) - you deserved it (1384)

On 09/22/2009 at 8:27pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Florida)