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sthrr's favorite FMLs
by Anonymous / 05/11/2011 at 1:32pm / Canada / Miscellaneous
Today, at 2 in the morning, my water broke. I called my mom and woke her up to come watch our older kid, while my husband and I went to the hospital. After being tested at the hospital, I was told I had just peed myself. FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2011 at 1:58am / Canada (Ontario) / Health
by Anonymous / 04/27/2011 at 12:21pm / United Kingdom / Intimacy
by Artic / 04/12/2011 at 12:00am / United States (New York) / Intimacy
Today, I joked with my dad, saying I'd gotten my boyfriend pregnant. In response, he slapped me, threw my phone across the room, smashed my laptop, and then took a moment for what I'd said to sink in. FML
by rowie1311 / 03/27/2011 at 2:09pm / United Kingdom (Northamptonshire) / Miscellaneous
Today, I got 2 creams for a skin condition. The one for my face says "Don't expose skin to sun after use of this product". The one for the rest of my body says "This product relies on exposure to the sun". In other words, I have to be outside as much as I can, naked and with a box on my head. FML
by FromNL / 03/25/2011 at 8:22am / Netherlands (Zuid-Holland) / Health
by omg / 03/24/2011 at 8:43pm / Canada (Alberta) / Kids
by eric / 03/16/2011 at 3:31am / United States / Intimacy
by blk8764 / 03/15/2011 at 6:35pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend did the Austin Powers dance/strip-tease while dancing to 'I Touch Myself'. It was cute until he ripped off his shirt and revealed that he'd shaved his chest hair in the shape of a penis. FML
by Anon / 03/10/2011 at 10:08am / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 03/08/2011 at 2:17am / United States (Tennessee) / Intimacy
Today, I informed my grandparents of my upcoming graduation from college. My grandma looked at me with tears in her eyes, and told me how proud she was that I was able to make it so far in spite of being autistic. I am not, nor have I ever been autistic. FML
by Acesup111 / 03/02/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous
Today, I told my boyfriend I was leaving him because he's cheating on me. He then told me he will die without me. When I said that I didn't care, he said 'OK. I'll kill myself!' and then held his breath in attempt to suffocate himself. I can't believe I dated this idiot. FML
Today, I told the guy I like to listen to a song that expressed how I felt about him. When he was done, I asked what he thought about it. He said it made him realize that his ex was the love of his life and that he wants to go back to her. FML
by sweet2u22 / 02/26/2011 at 9:30pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by failed / 02/23/2011 at 5:06am / Switzerland (Vaud) / Intimacy
- 1Today, my boyfriend presented me with a 30-minute montage video of him working out and flexing his… 2Today, my boyfriend finally told me that he loved me. This would've been fantastic if he didn't say… 3Today, I was eating my lunch. When I opened my mouth to eat a spoonful of rice, a bee flew right…