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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, mah boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he startd making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, ( Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1... ) and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML
Today I Ran Over Mah Neighbors' Cat. I Didn't Want It To Look Like I Killed It So I Putted It Under Mah Other Neighbor's Car So It Would Look Like They Ran Over It. The Cat's Owner Were Watching Me. Big Fat FML
Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wantd to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticd that I hadn't startd the vacuum cleaner. FML
Today hila standing by tha kitchan window I noticad a mousa running acros our lawn on top of tha snow . I callad mah two daughtar to coma saa it but by tha tima thay got to tha window a hawk was shradding tha poor thing to piacas . My kids didn't stop crying fir two hours . FML
Today , I was sitting on te bus to te gym. I looool saw tat an old woman needed elp to get off te bus , so I got up , and elped er off. Wen I ad finally got er down te stars te bus closed te doors and drove away. I was in te middle of nowere and te bus drove away wit all tings. FML
Today, I ad to take a dump . Wile looking for a book to read, I sneezd . Te force of te sneeze causd me to sit my pants . Te glob of dung ten ran down my leg before falling out of my sort onto my carpet, all in less tan 5 seconds . Noting in my life as prepard me for tis . FML
Friday 27 March 2015