stevestumbler89

Search for a member

stevestumbler89

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 365
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

This member hasn't filled in their description.

stevestumbler89's page activity

Visits<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 10:32pm

stevestumbler89's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

stevestumbler89's favorite FMLs

Today, I sold my Xbox 360 on Craigslist. I met the dude at the mall. I gave him my Xbox and a handshake for buying. I left without the money. FML

by Derek Lee / 05/22/2011 at 9:53am / United States (California) / Money

Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML

by anonymous / 05/17/2011 at 1:34pm / United States (Mississippi) / Money

Today, I put aftershave on my fingers to encourage myself to stop biting my nails. I absentmindedly rubbed my eye a few minutes later. It burnt like hell. FML

by Steve / 02/24/2011 at 2:32pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, I had to sell my phone to pay for the phone bill. FML

by suzyyy / 02/23/2011 at 4:18am / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Money

Today, my boyfriend and I were in our room getting hot and heavy. As he was entering me, he started making electronic whirring sounds. Once inside, he said in a robotic voice, "Initiating launch sequence in 3... 2... 1..." and began thrusting as fast as possible. FML

by Jessie / 12/25/2010 at 8:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I was putting my 2 year old to bed, and I began to sing to her. She reached up, put her finger over my lips, and said, "Shhh, Mommy." FML

by Anonymous / 11/19/2010 at 2:47am / Kids

Today, I tripped on a step that said "Watch your step." Two hours later, I hit my head on a sign that said "Mind your head." FML

by Anonymous / 11/13/2010 at 1:24am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was at my local McDonald's having a leak when an extremely intoxicated man stumbled in, pulled down his pants, and started to pee on my shoes. FML

by Anonymous / 10/22/2010 at 2:32pm / Norway (More og Romsdal) / Miscellaneous

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

by awesome / 09/21/2010 at 12:49am / United States (Arizona) / Animals

Today, I managed to fall face-first into a used condom. FML

by uHazFailedTotall / 03/03/2010 at 4:18pm / Norway (Rogaland) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I'm a 15 year old boy who is bald. Why am I bald? My little brother thought it would be funny to put glue in my hair gel. FML

by M95 / 03/03/2010 at 2:11pm / Norway (More og Romsdal) / Kids

Today, I was vacuuming our house because I wanted to help my parents. I wore a headset while listening to REALLY loud music. The vacuuming job took me two hours and when I took of my headset I noticed that I hadn't started the vacuum cleaner. FML

by Adrian16 / 01/18/2010 at 6:01am / Norway (Vestfold) / Miscellaneous

Today, while standing by the kitchen window I noticed a mouse running across our lawn on top of the snow. I called my two daughters to come see it, but by the time they got to the window a hawk was shredding the poor thing to pieces. My kids didn't stop crying for two hours. FML

by motheroftwo / 01/06/2010 at 3:41am / Norway (Oslo) / Animals

Today, I was sitting on the bus to the gym. I saw that an old woman needed help to get off the bus, so I got up, and helped her off. When I had finally got her down the stairs the bus closed the doors and drove away. I was in the middle of nowhere and the bus drove away with all my things. FML

by busmanhoe / 12/14/2009 at 6:19am / Norway (Hordaland) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to take a dump. While looking for a book to read, I sneezed. The force of the sneeze caused me to shit my pants. The glob of dung then ran down my leg before falling out of my shorts onto my carpet, all in less than 5 seconds. Nothing in my life has prepared me for this. FML

by Anonymous / 10/14/2009 at 1:01pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous