Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

stevenJB

Search for a member

stevenJB

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7979
  • Number of comments : 396
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About stevenJB : Yay you're my latest stalker! :D well, just to start off...I'm a rocker and metalhead so I listen to alot of punk,metal, rock. All that good stuff. I'm native American and have long black hair that is a few inches over a meter long (longer than my arm if I hold it out). I play electric guitar,bass guitar and sing some too. If you wanna know anything or know anything just send me a message. Because I have alot of free time >.> and feel free to kik me: "lockolaine"
"The only thing you should feel when you shoot somebody, is the recoil"

stevenJB's page activity

Visits<b>RockUntilYouDie</b> - yesterday at 10:06am<b>CattyMcEwwen</b> - yesterday at 7:57am<b>NUUUUUUUU</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 10:03am<b>weveallbeenthere</b> - the 09/17/2014 at 8:09am<b>manchesterUK</b> - the 09/14/2014 at 1:36pm<b>Gingerbreadman1</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:15pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:31pm<b>thebigtwinkie</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 5:25am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 7:38pm<b>Flowtastic</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:29am<b>Liamj774</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 11:17pm<b>Shamp0wa</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 4:49pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:45am<b>DomiLove</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 7:19pm<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:51am<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 1:59pm<b>accidentalsheep</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 3:09am<b>zoeydude564</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 6:49pm

stevenJB's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of stevenJB's badges

stevenJB's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

#19205333
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23129) - you deserved it (1901)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML

#19204484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8141) - you deserved it (27324)

On 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by argh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

#19201903
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20935) - you deserved it (3151)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML

#19195188
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24670) - you deserved it (2081)

On 03/01/2012 at 11:17am - health - by cmoney6452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML

#19194281
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22514) - you deserved it (18908)

On 03/01/2012 at 6:35am - intimacy - by ShitFaced (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was such a coward that instead of breaking up with me, he changed his phone number. FML

#19193447
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26301) - you deserved it (3126)

On 03/01/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML

#19190848
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33848) - you deserved it (1879)

On 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm - kids - by Fairy31 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom". That's how he put it, anyway. FML

#19183355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28645) - you deserved it (2160)

On 02/28/2012 at 5:04pm - love - by salt. - United States (Ohio)

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35006) - you deserved it (5312)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, while skiing, the creepy guy controlling the chair lift said I was pretty. I was so caught off guard that I fell off. FML

#19171997
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18303) - you deserved it (4516)

On 02/26/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by Confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

#19170840
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18694) - you deserved it (3387)

On 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm - misc - by slickrick22 (man) - United States

Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML

#19167589
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20917) - you deserved it (7127)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by still learning - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17153) - you deserved it (29456)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML

#19164372
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28653) - you deserved it (2142)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by afraidtoburn (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML

#19164372
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28653) - you deserved it (2142)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by afraidtoburn (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you know any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: