Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

stevenJB

Search for a member

stevenJB

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7882
  • Number of comments : 396
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About stevenJB : Yay you're my latest stalker! :D well, just to start off...I'm a rocker and metalhead so I listen to alot of punk,metal, rock. All that good stuff. I'm native American and have long black hair that is a few inches over a meter long (longer than my arm if I hold it out). I play electric guitar,bass guitar and sing some too. If you wanna know anything or know anything just send me a message. Because I have alot of free time >.> and feel free to kik me: "lockolaine"
"The only thing you should feel when you shoot somebody, is the recoil"

stevenJB's page activity

Visits<b>DomiLove</b> - yesterday at 7:19pm<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - yesterday at 10:51am<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 1:59pm<b>accidentalsheep</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 3:09am<b>zoeydude564</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 6:49pm<b>P_Cel_096</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:41pm<b>xx_moonwalker_xx</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 9:30am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:39pm<b>Tyde</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 4:46pm<b>NotAUser</b> - the 08/22/2014 at 8:55pm<b>Journiexo</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 3:29pm<b>yoursmileishawt</b> - the 08/13/2014 at 12:22am<b>nightwings</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 6:08am<b>vividpictures</b> - the 08/05/2014 at 10:59pm<b>batman342</b> - the 08/04/2014 at 2:43pm<b>vivian_rae</b> - the 08/03/2014 at 11:35pm<b>PePziNL</b> - the 08/01/2014 at 6:54pm<b>Crusher74</b> - the 07/31/2014 at 6:39am

stevenJB's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of stevenJB's badges

stevenJB's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML

#19205333
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23114) - you deserved it (1901)

On 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm - misc - by wtf dad (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friend told me how she crept out last night to hook up with her boyfriend. At one point, she said she "snack" out, so I corrected her by saying it's "snuck". My boyfriend snorted, showed us in a dictionary that it's actually "sneaked" and called us "fucking idiots". FML

#19204484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8137) - you deserved it (27308)

On 03/02/2012 at 7:14pm - misc - by argh (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my boyfriend decided he is going to narrate everything I do. I can't get him to stop. FML

#19201903
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20915) - you deserved it (3145)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:01am - misc - by types (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm so sick that I'm drinking fluids just to make it hurt less when I puke. FML

#19195188
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24650) - you deserved it (2082)

On 03/01/2012 at 11:17am - health - by cmoney6452 - United States (Ohio)

Today, I realized I've never had sex with someone who was sober at the time. FML

#19194281
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22492) - you deserved it (18902)

On 03/01/2012 at 6:35am - intimacy - by ShitFaced (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend was such a coward that instead of breaking up with me, he changed his phone number. FML

#19193447
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26286) - you deserved it (3123)

On 03/01/2012 at 12:35am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, the boy I tutor failed his math test. As a result, the family fired me. The boy failed because he forgot to write his name at the top. FML

#19190848
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33831) - you deserved it (1878)

On 02/29/2012 at 7:01pm - kids - by Fairy31 (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it's my birthday. My fiancé decided to give me the gift of "freedom". That's how he put it, anyway. FML

#19183355
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28632) - you deserved it (2157)

On 02/28/2012 at 5:04pm - love - by salt. - United States (Ohio)

Today, after suffering with bad constipation and having to eat special bread to get me to go, I have practically just pooped out a week's worth of food in 15 minutes, and I'm still going. I've passed the ring of fire stage, now I just can't feel my asshole. FML

#19174199
278 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34988) - you deserved it (5312)

On 02/27/2012 at 10:55am - health - by awhmaaan - United Kingdom

Today, while skiing, the creepy guy controlling the chair lift said I was pretty. I was so caught off guard that I fell off. FML

#19171997
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18287) - you deserved it (4515)

On 02/26/2012 at 11:58pm - misc - by Confused - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had a dream about the damn cappuccino machine at work. FML

#19170840
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18676) - you deserved it (3385)

On 02/26/2012 at 9:43pm - misc - by slickrick22 (man) - United States

Today, I cut myself while shaving my globes. My girlfriend now refuses to stop teasing me about being "fisted by Edward Scissorhands." FML

#19167589
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20904) - you deserved it (7126)

On 02/26/2012 at 12:42pm - intimacy - by still learning - Canada (Nova Scotia)

Today, an African-American family came into the restaurant at which I work. They said, "Jackson, party of 5." After I laughed, I realized they were serious. FML

#19166851
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17141) - you deserved it (29444)

On 02/26/2012 at 10:31am - work - by Miss_Kristen - United States (Missouri)

Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML

#19164372
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28627) - you deserved it (2142)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by afraidtoburn (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I discovered that during fire drills, my school lines everyone up next to some extremely flammable and explosive propane tanks. If we ever have a real fire, we will all die. FML

#19164372
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28627) - you deserved it (2142)

On 02/25/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by afraidtoburn (woman) - Canada (Quebec)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: