About stevenJB : 8/22/2016
Don't feel too excited about writing another updated bio, just shoot me a message, on kik "lockolaine" or here.
-I (used to) play guitar and bass, will start in again soon.
-enlisting in the Marines(leave for BC in feb)
-5´11 or 510 depending on who measures me
-gamer, mostly Wow, WoT, overwatch, starcraft 2 and fallout lately.
-listens to rock, metal mostly, a little bit of country and punk.
-native American and used to have hair over a meter long.
-single, age 21
-enjoy watching movies/anime
-can sing, but not amazingly
-heavy machinery operator
-lives in South Dakota
-enjoys firearms and long range shooting
--if you got any questions feel free to ask--
About stevenJB : 8/22/2016
stevenJB's FML badges
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stevenJB's favorite FMLs
Today, I angrily tweeted about having fruitlessly searched for over an hour for my car keys. Minutes later, some guy told me to check beneath the "stack of skid-marked underwear" on my bedroom floor. I'm not sure if it was a lucky guess, or if I should start carrying mace. FML
by skid kid / 03/09/2012 at 9:09pm / Canada (Ontario) / Transportation
Today, my husband sat me down on the couch so he could share some "awesome" news with me. He excitedly declared that he and his idiot drinking buddies are planning on running a real-life Fight Club out of our basement. FML
by Anonymous / 03/09/2012 at 9:05pm / United States / Miscellaneous
by shelly / 03/08/2012 at 5:23pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by Fraser / 03/08/2012 at 2:03pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy
Today, I was in class and felt something tugging on my hair. I thought it was caught on the chair, so I turned around a little to look. The guy behind me was holding my hair and smelling it. He gave me a creepy smile, winked, and continued. FML
by littlekellilee / 03/08/2012 at 11:23am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous
by thatchick3333 / 03/08/2012 at 2:13am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by laviestpasimal / 03/06/2012 at 7:14pm / France / Work
Today, I got up at 4:30 am, went to my job as the newspaper guy. Nobody was there to open the door, it was raining and I was freezing. I decided to wait, because I really wanted my salary. At 6 o'clock my boss opens the door and says, "Oh, it's you. Well, you're fired. We can't pay you anymore." FML
by Shan007tjuuh / 03/06/2012 at 3:57am / Netherlands / Work
by goldfish / 03/05/2012 at 9:47pm / Canada (Alberta) / Animals
Today, I choked on a gummy bear and ended up in the emergency room. The first thing the doctor said to me was, "Well, that must have been 'beary' uncomfortable." The entire room burst into laughter. FML
by Kayla / 03/05/2012 at 7:43pm / United States / Health
Today, a stuffed ferret was the latest addition to the list of weird items my colleagues have found in our rubbish tip, and that they put in my office. The list also includes explicit fetish porn playing cards, live ammo and dead pheasants, to name a few. I need a new job. FML
by Anonymous / 03/05/2012 at 11:36am / United Kingdom (Gateshead) / Work
Today, while making my daily offering of turd to the porcelain throne, I took out my phone and started playing a game. I suddenly felt a tickling sensation on my leg, and I freaked out as I saw hundreds of ants had emerged from behind the toilet. FML
by Anonymous / 03/04/2012 at 5:20pm / Canada (Quebec) / Miscellaneous
Today, I downloaded an application that notifies me when my phone is fully charged. I had no idea how it actually functions, but I plugged the charger in and went to bed. A couple of hours later, I woke up to a man's voice screaming, "I can't take it anymore!" I nearly wet myself. FML
by scaredshitless / 03/03/2012 at 8:55am / Finland (Southern Finland) / Miscellaneous
by bannana0zoom / 03/03/2012 at 3:06am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, my dad made me deliver a welcoming cake to our new neighbors. While I was making small-talk, I saw him climb over their backyard fence. A minute later, he climbed back over, with a plastic deck-chair in hand. I feel like an accessory to the pettiest theft in history. FML
by wtf dad / 03/02/2012 at 9:24pm / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in… Today, I had to set parental controls on my iPad so my dad couldn't watch dirty videos on Youtube.… Today, my husband and I were getting frisky. All was going well until I decided to go down on him,…