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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Monday 5 May 1941 (75 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 16318
  • Number of comments : 399
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About stevenJB : 9/28/2016
Hey, you're my latest stalker. feel free to message me here or on kik "Lockolaine". otherwise here's the run down of me.

-I (used to) play guitar and bass, will start in again soon.
-enlisting in the Marines(leave for BC in feb)
-5´11 or 510 depending on who measures me
-gamer, mostly Wow, WoT, overwatch, starcraft 2 and fallout lately.
-listens to rock, metal mostly, a little bit of country, punk, some pop I just hear on the radio, symphony and some jazz as well.
-native American and used to have hair over a meter long.
-enjoy watching movies/anime
-can sing, but not amazingly
-heavy machinery operator/mechanic
-lives in South Dakota
-love dogs, though I don't have one myself :(
-enjoys firearms and long range shooting
-Love reading books, more into fantasy genre.
-I'll do a fuck for a fuck so feel free.
-my fml profile is around or close to 5 years old.
-enjoy running and working out.

--if you got any questions feel free to ask--

stevenJB's page activity

Visits<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - 22 minutes ago<b>ItWentSwimmingly</b> - 42 minutes ago<b>Melodyrain</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 4:59pm<b>CamBen</b> - the 10/21/2016 at 4:43pm<b>French_giirl</b> - the 10/20/2016 at 12:00pm<b>bellles</b> - the 10/18/2016 at 11:21am<b>mrlucky22</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 9:15am<b>HelloKiittyy</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 1:47am<b>killmenowugh</b> - the 10/16/2016 at 11:20pm<b>BryantStone</b> - the 10/13/2016 at 10:40pm<b>jessebelle0714</b> - the 10/12/2016 at 9:34pm<b>CaitOlivia94</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 10:17pm<b>StormfrontX33</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 7:49pm<b>a_sales</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 2:46pm<b>Earths_Venus</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 6:38am<b>sarahyep</b> - the 10/11/2016 at 4:07am<b>mof424</b> - the 10/10/2016 at 11:56pm<b>tmj25789</b> - the 10/09/2016 at 8:24pm

Fucked!<b>CamBen</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 11:58pm<b>Cow_Girl_Lilly</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 1:24pm<b>lunalane</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 5:09am<b>dudeutookhrs</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 3:58am<b>r1has</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 10:57am<b>TwistedWires</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 7:04am<b>BeautifulLiesx</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 3:26am<b>BlueAlpaca</b> - the 09/30/2016 at 3:02am<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 4:19pm<b>coyotefox</b> - the 09/28/2016 at 2:05am<b>DBpiano</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 11:44pm<b>mercedesm</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 9:15pm<b>honeyleee</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 5:47pm<b>whitnayfortooh</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 10:47am<b>BrazyNut</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 10:22am<b>watermelon15</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 7:30am<b>stellasue11</b> - the 09/27/2016 at 6:32am<b>PopTarts513</b> - the 09/24/2016 at 6:55pm

stevenJB's FML badges


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Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of stevenJB's badges

stevenJB's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my parents if the outfit I was wearing made me look fat. My mom looked at me and paused for a while; my dad said, "Honey, that outfit doesn't make you look fat. Your fat makes you look fat." FML

by mugs / 03/12/2009 at 3:49pm / United States (Virginia) / Health

Today, a man in my town was arrested for hiding methanphetamine in a hollowed out walking cane and distributing it to the population of his retirement complex. That man was my 58 year old father. FML

by Noname / 03/10/2009 at 11:01am / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, as I was bagging groceries, I looked down to see a 6-year-old urinating on my shoes and the floor next to me. I told his mother that he should take her kid to the restroom, only to be told to "mind my own goddamn business." I was later fired for arguing with the customer. FML

by unemployed / 03/09/2009 at 10:00pm / United States (Illinois) / Work

Today, I had drunk sex with a girl that I barely know. I didn't have a condom and was nervous about getting her pregnant, but she assured me that I could pull out. Right when I was about to pull out, she wrapped her legs around me and yelled, "BE MY BABY'S DADDY!" I couldn't get out in time. FML

by RC3Welly / 03/09/2009 at 6:58pm / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I finally got up the nerve to ask this really cute girl out I've had a crush on for over eight months. Turns out she isn't a girl. FML

by goodbye / 03/08/2009 at 8:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was babysitting a 7 year old girl and we were eating chocolate covered nuts. She kept on chewing the nuts and wondered where the chocolate was. I told her to taste the chocolate you suck on the nuts. Then her parents came home and the first thing she said was "I learned how to suck nuts!" FML

by nutsucker / 03/08/2009 at 3:08pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was driving down the road when I got to a red light. I looked over and saw a hot chick in a convertible so I spoke to my window thinking she couldn't hear me "Hey girl, I may have a tiny dick but I make up for it in speed and stamina." She looked over. I forgot about the sunroof. FML

by Smash_Mouth / 03/08/2009 at 12:36am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy

Today, I was pushing my 4 year old on the swing. I did what we call our "under doggie push": I throw her up in the air while I run underneath her before she hits me coming back down. I walked away to get my water and she yelled across the park "Can we do it doggie-style again?" FML

by Dang-ItsDanielle / 03/07/2009 at 1:28pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went to my guidance counselor and told her how I'd been fascinated with space since I was 12, had read about the universe and everything, and how I want to be an astrologist when I grow up. She stared at me for a second, before saying, "But you're... stupid." FML

by astroloser / 03/07/2009 at 11:10am / Philippines (Rizal) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was having a one night stand with a guy. He told me he wanted to do it doggie style, I said okay, and as soon as I bent over on the bed, looked at me and said, "Let's do this with the lights off". FML

by fjafja / 03/07/2009 at 1:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, it was my final meeting with my psychologist who was helping me with my bipolar disorder. I just found out that he committed suicide. FML

by drakx88 / 03/06/2009 at 12:11pm / United States (California) / Health

Today, during my choral concert, I was helping turn the pages for the pianist who was accompanying the singers. In the middle of the song, one of the pages slipped and fell into his crotch area. In a panic, I frantically reached to grab the music. Well, I grabbed something. It wasn't the music. FML

by a person / 03/04/2009 at 11:29pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up at 5:30 AM to my boyfriend flipping on the lights and shouting, "We have a problem!" Our chinchilla had gotten out of his maximum security cage, and half of our apartment is now underwater because he decided the water line that leads to the fridge would make a tasty midnight snack. FML

by Sara / 03/04/2009 at 5:42pm / United States (Washington) / Animals

Today, I went to visit my fiancé's dying grandmother in the hospital with him. She started talking to us about living each day to the fullest. His grandmother points to me and says, "Life is short. That's why you don't waste any time screwing girls who look like that." FML

by joAnne / 03/03/2009 at 4:36pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to try anal sex. When he was done, I turned around to see him holding a strap-on with a smile on his face and said 'Now, do me'. FML

by Picaresque / 02/26/2009 at 12:57pm / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy