stevenJB

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stevenJB

51Fucked!

stevenJBstevenJB
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 May 1941 (75 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17092
  • Number of comments : 420
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About stevenJB : 9/28/2016
Hey, you're my latest stalker. feel free to message me here or on kik "Lockolaine". otherwise here's the run down of me.

-I (used to) play guitar and bass, will start in again soon.
-enlisting in the Marines(leave for BC in feb)
-5´11 or 510 depending on who measures me
-gamer, mostly Wow, WoT, overwatch, starcraft 2 and fallout lately.
-listens to rock, metal mostly, a little bit of country, punk, some pop I just hear on the radio, symphony and some jazz as well.
-native American and used to have hair over a meter long.
-enjoy watching movies/anime
-can sing, but not amazingly
-heavy machinery operator/mechanic
-lives in South Dakota
-love dogs, though I don't have one myself :(
-enjoys firearms and long range shooting
-Love reading books, more into fantasy genre.
-I'll do a fuck for a fuck so feel free.
-my fml profile is around or close to 5 years old.
-enjoy running and working out.


--if you got any questions feel free to ask--


stevenJB's page activity

Visits<b>lunalane</b> - 24 hours ago<b>Srxjo</b> - the 12/06/2016 at 6:20pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 12/06/2016 at 5:54pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 12/05/2016 at 10:56pm<b>JETarchitect</b> - the 12/05/2016 at 5:28pm<b>YaskYhw</b> - the 12/03/2016 at 5:01pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/01/2016 at 9:44am<b>missa8604</b> - the 11/30/2016 at 10:58pm<b>chirstinap325</b> - the 11/30/2016 at 9:24pm<b>paris_ava</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 2:52pm<b>TheRareDoge</b> - the 11/27/2016 at 2:00pm<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 11/27/2016 at 1:24am<b>randyp5655</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 5:20pm<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 7:09am<b>sapoi99</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 3:18am<b>frankmz</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 11:45pm<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 9:47pm<b>haddiej</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 4:20pm

Fucked!<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 12/05/2016 at 11:01pm<b>JETarchitect</b> - the 12/05/2016 at 6:10am<b>YaskYhw</b> - the 12/03/2016 at 11:00pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 12:18pm<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 10:13am<b>Talzzz123</b> - the 11/24/2016 at 4:20am<b>wheresmymary</b> - the 11/17/2016 at 5:44am<b>PrincessWinter</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 11:57pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 11/04/2016 at 4:32pm<b>CAT47LOVE</b> - the 11/02/2016 at 5:47am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 10/26/2016 at 7:04am<b>Marissa20358</b> - the 10/25/2016 at 6:18pm<b>CamBen</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 11:58pm<b>Cow_Girl_Lilly</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 1:24pm<b>lunalane</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 5:09am<b>dudeutookhrs</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 3:58am<b>r1has</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 10:57am<b>TwistedWires</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 7:04am

stevenJB's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of stevenJB's badges

stevenJB's favorite FMLs

Today, I was ringing up a lady and her daughter at the shoe store I work at. The background on my nametag is a rainbow, and when the daughter saw it, she asked her mother why it was so. Her mother looks at my nametag, then me, then turns to her daughter and says "Because he hates God honey". FML

by maconda99 / 04/05/2009 at 11:14pm / United States (Colorado) / Work

Today, my patient, a chubby little girl, stood on a scale to measure her weight. She was 5 yrs old and weighed 65 lbs. I started giving her advice on eating healthy: fruits, vegetables, and more greens. She turned to her mother giving a look of shock and said, "But mommy, the doctor is fat too!" FML

by Shnur / 04/05/2009 at 12:25am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. All of a sudden he jumped off of me, going "shit, shit!". Worried, i asked him what was wrong. He shouted "I forgot to set my TiVO!" FML

by Jenny / 03/30/2009 at 8:06pm / United States (New Jersey) / Intimacy

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

by nomorebeard / 03/25/2009 at 10:13am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shaving off my beard for the first time in a very long time. I decided to have a little fun with it, and shaved my beard first into a goatee, then a handle-bar, then, finally, into a Hitler mustache. My electric razor dies. I don't have a normal one or an extra battery. FML

by nomorebeard / 03/25/2009 at 10:13am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, my watch broke so I casually mentioned to my dad that I needed a new one. A little while later he hands me this really nice watch. He says, "Here, this one's been lying around for a while". It was the watch I gave him for Father's Day. FML

by regiftee / 03/25/2009 at 1:06am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, my mother and I walked past my boyfriend, whom she's never met. After we casually greeted each other and went on our way my mother says, "He's cute. Who is he?" I paused for a second and replied, "That's my boyfriend." She then asks, "Does he know that?" FML

by ThanksMa / 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, I was with a group of friends at a bar, and we were all talking about whether we were moaners, screamers, or quiet during sex. My boyfriend said that he was a moaner, which I contradicted. Completely straightfaced, he said, "Well, I am when it's good." FML

by AGluckily / 03/21/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the mall with my mom. We were in American Eagle shopping for spring clothes, when a few good looking guys walked by and whistled at me. I smiled at them. They were checking out my mom, not me. FML

by motherdearest / 03/21/2009 at 7:18pm / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was playing Xbox live with my boyfriend. I was bored so I decided to mess around. So I put down my remote and unbuttoned his pants. Two minutes in he said, "Hurry up, we're getting killed without you. Besides you're way better at video games." FML

by Anonymous / 03/21/2009 at 3:18am / Canada (British Columbia) / Geek

Today, my older brother and some of his cute friends came over. When we got inside my mom yells to me "I got you some bigger tampons because you leaked all over your new underwear." They all started laughing. FML

by megan228 / 03/20/2009 at 5:16pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I was pulled over by my father who is a police officer. He was training a rookie and gave me a breathalyzer test to show his trainee how to do it. I blew a .15 and was taken to jail. FML

by Jesse / 03/20/2009 at 1:48am / United States (Kentucky) / Transportation

Today, I decided to have sex for the first time with my boyfriend. It was his first time too. While in bed, he blankly stopped and stood up and got out a piece of paper from his pockets. Turns out, he had written instructions on what to do while in bed, and forgot what he had to do next. FML

by ufhdafuhds / 03/19/2009 at 7:31pm / Egypt (Al Qahirah) / Intimacy

Today, I was working at Coldstone. When a customer tips us we are required to sing. A late night DJ came in, put 20 dollars in the tip cup, and asked to hear every song we had. After we sang one song he looked at me and asked me to please stop singing or he was taking his money back. FML

by Rev / 03/18/2009 at 1:05am / United States (Connecticut) / Work

Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebees for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked "How was it?" he says "It was terrible", to which I said "The food was that bad?" He replies "No, the sex". FML

by JC12345 / 03/18/2009 at 12:35am / United States / Intimacy