stevenJB

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stevenJB

51Fucked!

stevenJBstevenJB
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 May 1941 (75 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17097
  • Number of comments : 420
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About stevenJB : 9/28/2016
Hey, you're my latest stalker. feel free to message me here or on kik "Lockolaine". otherwise here's the run down of me.

-I (used to) play guitar and bass, will start in again soon.
-enlisting in the Marines(leave for BC in feb)
-5´11 or 510 depending on who measures me
-gamer, mostly Wow, WoT, overwatch, starcraft 2 and fallout lately.
-listens to rock, metal mostly, a little bit of country, punk, some pop I just hear on the radio, symphony and some jazz as well.
-native American and used to have hair over a meter long.
-enjoy watching movies/anime
-can sing, but not amazingly
-heavy machinery operator/mechanic
-lives in South Dakota
-love dogs, though I don't have one myself :(
-enjoys firearms and long range shooting
-Love reading books, more into fantasy genre.
-I'll do a fuck for a fuck so feel free.
-my fml profile is around or close to 5 years old.
-enjoy running and working out.


--if you got any questions feel free to ask--


stevenJB's page activity

Visits<b>lunalane</b> - yesterday at 8:51pm<b>Srxjo</b> - the 12/06/2016 at 6:20pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 12/06/2016 at 5:54pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 12/05/2016 at 10:56pm<b>JETarchitect</b> - the 12/05/2016 at 5:28pm<b>YaskYhw</b> - the 12/03/2016 at 5:01pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/01/2016 at 9:44am<b>missa8604</b> - the 11/30/2016 at 10:58pm<b>chirstinap325</b> - the 11/30/2016 at 9:24pm<b>paris_ava</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 2:52pm<b>TheRareDoge</b> - the 11/27/2016 at 2:00pm<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 11/27/2016 at 1:24am<b>randyp5655</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 5:20pm<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 7:09am<b>sapoi99</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 3:18am<b>frankmz</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 11:45pm<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 9:47pm<b>haddiej</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 4:20pm

Fucked!<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 12/05/2016 at 11:01pm<b>JETarchitect</b> - the 12/05/2016 at 6:10am<b>YaskYhw</b> - the 12/03/2016 at 11:00pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 12:18pm<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 10:13am<b>Talzzz123</b> - the 11/24/2016 at 4:20am<b>wheresmymary</b> - the 11/17/2016 at 5:44am<b>PrincessWinter</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 11:57pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 11/04/2016 at 4:32pm<b>CAT47LOVE</b> - the 11/02/2016 at 5:47am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 10/26/2016 at 7:04am<b>Marissa20358</b> - the 10/25/2016 at 6:18pm<b>CamBen</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 11:58pm<b>Cow_Girl_Lilly</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 1:24pm<b>lunalane</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 5:09am<b>dudeutookhrs</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 3:58am<b>r1has</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 10:57am<b>TwistedWires</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 7:04am

stevenJB's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of stevenJB's badges

stevenJB's favorite FMLs

Today, I was on a bike ride when a bug flew into my eye. Not wanting to stop, I figured I would just keep that eye closed until I could cry it out. Five seconds later, a bug flew into my other eye. FML

by Anonymous / 05/17/2009 at 1:17am / United States (Rhode Island) / Transportation

Today, my 6 year old daughter walked in on my husband and I getting it on. Now she won't stop 'pretending to be daddy' against items of furniture. We have guests coming round in three hours. FML

by Jessica / 05/14/2009 at 8:03pm / United States (Michigan) / Kids

Today, my football club gave us all jerseys with our last names on them. My last name is 'Flicker'. The letters are all in uppercase. And the 'L' and the 'I' are joined together at the bottom. My jersey reads 'FUCKER'. FML

by Flicker / 05/14/2009 at 3:23am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was in line for Star Trek and chatting with another couple about a guy who came to the movie wearing a Starfleet uniform. We were having a good snicker about this "Geek" until my cell phone rang. My ringtone is the sound made by the Star Trek communicator. FML

by Ottawa / 05/12/2009 at 10:11am / Canada (Ontario) / Geek

Today, I went out to a nice restaurant for my friend's birthday. I went to the bathroom and heard the woman in the other stall crying. She couldn't pull her underwear up over her obese, old-lady ass because her arms don't reach that far anymore. I was the only one there. I had no choice. FML

by bathroomseww / 05/12/2009 at 3:19am / United States (California) / Health

Today, I got a call from my child's preschool saying that "Mindy keeps saying she sits on her daddy's lap and plays with his peter." My daughter meant 'puter, as in computer. Now the school is worried my husband is a child molester. FML

by Gumfanatic302 / 05/06/2009 at 9:43pm / United States (Nevada) / Kids

Today, my boss asked me to pick up some supplies for a presentation. I entered the store in the middle of an armed robbery, was knocked to the floor, and had my cash, phone and credit cards stolen. When I told my boss the story, she said, "So were you able to get the binder clips?" FML

by Jay / 05/06/2009 at 12:52am / United States (Missouri) / Work

Today, I lost track of time while rocking out, butt-naked, to Kelly Clarkson and Michelle Branch after taking a shower. Three of my metalhead friends had let themselves in my house and were on the lower level laughing their butts off at me for 30 minutes before telling me. I'm a 23 year old guy. FML

by Anonymous / 05/05/2009 at 2:26am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML

by Aether / 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm / United States (Michigan) / Transportation

Today, in math class we were learning about gravity. To demonstrate my teacher asked me to stand on the desk and then step off. Upon stepping on the desk it curved inward and cracked. Everyone was dying of laughter. Fuck gravity. FML

by systeminitiated / 05/02/2009 at 12:55am / Canada / Miscellaneous

Today, I went to the doctor for a checkup. The doctor went through the normal questions, then paused for a moment and jotted something down. Later when I got back my report from the checkup, I noticed that the doctor had checked the "no" box by "sexually active." She didn't even ask me that. FML

by Anonymous / 05/01/2009 at 8:05pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me. When confronted she told me, "I didn't get wet so it wasn't cheating." FML

by amiadori / 05/01/2009 at 5:50am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my girlfriend of 5 years cheated on me. When confronted she told me, "I didn't get wet so it wasn't cheating." FML

by amiadori / 05/01/2009 at 5:50am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, my first graders released the butterflies we've been raising. The kids were sad that one had died in his cocoon and wouldn't be set free. Turns out that butterfly may have had a better fate: a flock of birds ate half of the others. Immediately after releasing them. In front of the kids. FML

by Anonymous / 04/29/2009 at 12:30pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I like and he was doing homework. Then, he looks up, his eyes meeting mine. His smooth voice mutters my name as his face inches closer to mine. I can feel his minty breath against my face. My pulse is racing. Then, he says "What's a pronoun?" FML

by theatreismylife / 04/26/2009 at 9:14pm / United States (California) / Love