stevenJB

Search for a member

Offline (57 minutes ago)

stevenJB

51Fucked!

stevenJBstevenJB
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 4 May 1941 (75 years old)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 17105
  • Number of comments : 420
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About stevenJB : 9/28/2016
Hey, you're my latest stalker. feel free to message me here or on kik "Lockolaine". otherwise here's the run down of me.

-I (used to) play guitar and bass, will start in again soon.
-enlisting in the Marines(leave for BC in feb)
-5´11 or 510 depending on who measures me
-gamer, mostly Wow, WoT, overwatch, starcraft 2 and fallout lately.
-listens to rock, metal mostly, a little bit of country, punk, some pop I just hear on the radio, symphony and some jazz as well.
-native American and used to have hair over a meter long.
-enjoy watching movies/anime
-can sing, but not amazingly
-heavy machinery operator/mechanic
-lives in South Dakota
-love dogs, though I don't have one myself :(
-enjoys firearms and long range shooting
-Love reading books, more into fantasy genre.
-I'll do a fuck for a fuck so feel free.
-my fml profile is around or close to 5 years old.
-enjoy running and working out.


--if you got any questions feel free to ask--


stevenJB's page activity

Visits<b>lunalane</b> - yesterday at 8:51pm<b>Srxjo</b> - the 12/06/2016 at 6:20pm<b>Gabygonzalez9211</b> - the 12/06/2016 at 5:54pm<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 12/05/2016 at 10:56pm<b>JETarchitect</b> - the 12/05/2016 at 5:28pm<b>YaskYhw</b> - the 12/03/2016 at 5:01pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 12/01/2016 at 9:44am<b>missa8604</b> - the 11/30/2016 at 10:58pm<b>chirstinap325</b> - the 11/30/2016 at 9:24pm<b>paris_ava</b> - the 11/29/2016 at 2:52pm<b>TheRareDoge</b> - the 11/27/2016 at 2:00pm<b>kokopuffs3</b> - the 11/27/2016 at 1:24am<b>randyp5655</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 5:20pm<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 7:09am<b>sapoi99</b> - the 11/26/2016 at 3:18am<b>frankmz</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 11:45pm<b>BabooonLove</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 9:47pm<b>haddiej</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 4:20pm

Fucked!<b>Sayeret_Matkal</b> - the 12/05/2016 at 11:01pm<b>JETarchitect</b> - the 12/05/2016 at 6:10am<b>YaskYhw</b> - the 12/03/2016 at 11:00pm<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 12:18pm<b>TheGreastest</b> - the 11/25/2016 at 10:13am<b>Talzzz123</b> - the 11/24/2016 at 4:20am<b>wheresmymary</b> - the 11/17/2016 at 5:44am<b>PrincessWinter</b> - the 11/09/2016 at 11:57pm<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 11/04/2016 at 4:32pm<b>CAT47LOVE</b> - the 11/02/2016 at 5:47am<b>URBeingLied2</b> - the 10/26/2016 at 7:04am<b>Marissa20358</b> - the 10/25/2016 at 6:18pm<b>CamBen</b> - the 10/17/2016 at 11:58pm<b>Cow_Girl_Lilly</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 1:24pm<b>lunalane</b> - the 10/08/2016 at 5:09am<b>dudeutookhrs</b> - the 10/04/2016 at 3:58am<b>r1has</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 10:57am<b>TwistedWires</b> - the 10/03/2016 at 7:04am

stevenJB's FML badges

Inception

You read an FML that mentions a badge, and in return you've been awarded a badge. A badge inside a badge.

Perfectionist

Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.

Santa Claus

You've looked for Santa absolutely everywhere, and you managed to find him. Well done!

See all of stevenJB's badges

stevenJB's favorite FMLs

Today, my dad sat me down for the sex talk. Almost before he could open his mouth, my mother popped her head into the room and said, "Be realistic, Dan. Who would want to sleep with that?" FML

by CallaC / 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML

by PUA / 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy

Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML

by zztopspinner / 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML

by S. Michaels / 03/14/2012 at 11:17am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML

by Anonymous / 03/14/2012 at 2:15am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that I am so sexually deprived that I get aroused when plugging my headphones into my computer. FML

by Wow / 03/13/2012 at 12:38am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I thought it would be funny to sneak up on my dad while he was rummaging through his briefcase. He must have heard me, because the moment I got up close, he whirled around and yelled "BOO!" causing me to scream like a little bitch. FML

by gengiskarn69 / 03/12/2012 at 10:55am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shopping for tampons when a cute guy came over and gave me his number. He said, "Call me in 3 to 5 days." FML

by Tristansefam1367 / 03/12/2012 at 9:11am / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was shaving naked in my cold bathroom before showering. My wife walked up behind me, yelled "Shrinkage!" and flicked the head of my penis as hard as she could. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2012 at 12:16am / United States / Intimacy

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

by me / 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

by me / 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, a guy came by my house and demanded my fiancé come out and fight. He explained that my fiancé had been stupid enough to not only troll on a local interest forum, but to leave his name and our address, inviting people to "come shut me up if you think you're tough enough." FML

by me / 03/11/2012 at 10:49pm / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous

Today, I watched Gigli. FML

by Anonymous / 03/11/2012 at 7:19pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, at work at a gas station kiosk, a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said, "I only come here for the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML

Today, at work at a gas station kiosk, a man requested a carton of cigarettes. We keep our cigarettes on a high shelf. I'm short and very large chested so I have to jump in order to reach the carton. He said, "I only come here for the entertainment" and left without purchasing his cigarettes. FML