About stevenJB : 8/22/2016
Don't feel too excited about writing another updated bio, just shoot me a message, on kik "lockolaine" or here.
-I (used to) play guitar and bass, will start in again soon.
-enlisting in the Marines(leave for BC in feb)
-5´11 or 510 depending on who measures me
-gamer, mostly Wow, WoT, overwatch, starcraft 2 and fallout lately.
-listens to rock, metal mostly, a little bit of country and punk.
-native American and used to have hair over a meter long.
-single, age 21
-enjoy watching movies/anime
-can sing, but not amazingly
-heavy machinery operator
-lives in South Dakota
-enjoys firearms and long range shooting
--if you got any questions feel free to ask--
About stevenJB : 8/22/2016
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stevenJB's favorite FMLs
Today, I witnessed my husband swat a coffee bean over and over again, all the while mistaking it for a fly. I then figured he probably has a lower IQ than I do, which wouldn't be so bad if mine wasn't a few points away from minor retardation. FML
by sheilob / 03/24/2012 at 7:06pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
by mrricecakes / 03/23/2012 at 1:55am / United States (Arizona) / Intimacy
Today, I spotted a $100 bill on the ground. Being a little strapped for cash, I excitedly picked it up. I discovered it was one of those religious tract papers made to look like a folded bill, with a message scolding me for being greedy. FML
by Anon / 03/22/2012 at 7:32pm / United States (New York) / Money
by J.O.S / 03/21/2012 at 5:06pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, while driving home from school, I noticed one of our hot quarterbacks in the car behind me. Trying to impress him, I pulled into the driveway of an expensive-looking house. To my horror, he pulled in behind me and asked what I was doing at his house. FML
by brooke / 03/21/2012 at 1:12pm / United States (Florida) / Kids
by Anonymous / 03/21/2012 at 12:50am / Canada / Health
by Rapunzel / 03/18/2012 at 4:02pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, while I was cuddling with my girlfriend, she looked at me and leaned in. Thinking she was going to kiss me, I leaned too. Just as we were about to kiss, she screamed "COW KISSES" and somehow managed to lick my eyeball. FML
by Brian / 03/17/2012 at 10:32pm / United States (Washington) / Love
by noneedtostress / 03/17/2012 at 11:52am / Australia (Victoria) / Intimacy
Today, my mother and I went to a meeting at my school about a camping trip the students in my grade will be going on. When the time to ask questions came, my mother raised her hand and loudly asked, "What if my child is on their period during the trip?" FML
by Bebefer / 03/15/2012 at 3:49am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by CallaC / 03/14/2012 at 10:01pm / Canada (New Brunswick) / Miscellaneous
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents. Her huge, ex-Marine father took me out back, saying he wanted to show me something. That something was a machete. He savagely buried it in a tree stump and said, "Son, if you break my daughter's heart, that'll be your dick." FML
by PUA / 03/14/2012 at 9:06pm / United States (Georgia) / Intimacy
Today, whilst stacking the dish washer I dropped a steak knife. Luckily, I caught it just before it hit my foot. I fist-pumped to celebrate my amazing catch and stabbed myself in the cheek. My parents couldn't stop laughing all the way to the hospital. FML
by zztopspinner / 03/14/2012 at 3:11pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML
by S. Michaels / 03/14/2012 at 11:17am / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, a Russian guy came up to me on the train and informed me that I look exactly like a typical Russian woman. He then went on to explain that I even had enough fat to survive their cold winters. FML
by Anonymous / 03/14/2012 at 2:15am / Australia (New South Wales) / Miscellaneous
- Today, I’m in Sweden. This morning, I went out to get the mail in my pajamas. Well, it doesn’t only… Today, after shaking my boss's hand, I noticed that he had a piece of toilet paper stuck to one of… Today, I’m a student in China, and I attended a welcoming party for the new students. It consisted…