Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

stevenJB

Search for a member

stevenJB

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 7954
  • Number of comments : 396
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About stevenJB : Yay you're my latest stalker! :D well, just to start off...I'm a rocker and metalhead so I listen to alot of punk,metal, rock. All that good stuff. I'm native American and have long black hair that is a few inches over a meter long (longer than my arm if I hold it out). I play electric guitar,bass guitar and sing some too. If you wanna know anything or know anything just send me a message. Because I have alot of free time >.> and feel free to kik me: "lockolaine"
"The only thing you should feel when you shoot somebody, is the recoil"

stevenJB's page activity

Visits<b>manchesterUK</b> - yesterday at 1:36pm<b>Gingerbreadman1</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 10:15pm<b>SecretSociety7</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 9:31pm<b>thebigtwinkie</b> - the 09/13/2014 at 5:25am<b>BlazeArmy</b> - the 09/09/2014 at 7:38pm<b>Flowtastic</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 4:29am<b>Liamj774</b> - the 09/06/2014 at 11:17pm<b>Shamp0wa</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 4:49pm<b>countryb_cth</b> - the 09/04/2014 at 5:45am<b>DomiLove</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 7:19pm<b>DerpyDerpinator</b> - the 09/01/2014 at 10:51am<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 1:59pm<b>accidentalsheep</b> - the 08/31/2014 at 3:09am<b>zoeydude564</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 6:49pm<b>P_Cel_096</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 5:41pm<b>xx_moonwalker_xx</b> - the 08/29/2014 at 9:30am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 08/28/2014 at 5:39pm<b>Tyde</b> - the 08/26/2014 at 4:46pm

stevenJB's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of stevenJB's badges

stevenJB's favorite FMLs

Today, I was getting intimate with my husband on our anniversary day. He climbed on top of me and firmly placed his penis on my nose. When I asked him what the hell he was doing, he burst into laughter and said I looked just like Squidward. FML

#18083202
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40493) - you deserved it (5224)

On 10/26/2011 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found out my boss and some employees on my floor have bets placed on who can get the best picture of my ass. I found out when one of the pictures was accidentally sent to me. FML

#18022998
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28893) - you deserved it (3552)

On 10/19/2011 at 12:49pm - work - by ikickgingers - United States

Today, my twin boys who are 5 decided to teach each other how to fly off the shed out back. They are still in their pajamas. Batman's arm is broken and Spiderman has a slight concussion. FML

#18022351
317 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32071) - you deserved it (6337)

On 10/19/2011 at 10:03am - kids - by optimistic2628 - United States

Today, I went out shopping. When I left the store, I saw my ex, who I'm still crazy about. He helped me carry my bags out to the car. When I leaned in to give him a hug goodbye, he stepped aside, and I fell face-first into a puddle. He walked away laughing. FML

#18015819
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31561) - you deserved it (9187)

On 10/18/2011 at 3:36pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, at my job in the cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like you. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

#17999888
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30049) - you deserved it (5809) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/16/2011 at 5:08pm - work - by Mayabie - France

Today, I have been pissing blood for 2 hours, ever since some douche in a Nixon mask ran up and slugged me in the kidney. FML

#17981728
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32174) - you deserved it (2069)

On 10/14/2011 at 11:09am - health - by Nixontones - United States (Illinois)

Today, my brother in law got into a fight with my husband. My pregnant sister was yelling at her husband to stop beating my husband up. When I came into the room, I asked why they were fighting. You'll never guess who the real father of my sister's baby is. FML

#17977094
272 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64038) - you deserved it (3199)

On 10/13/2011 at 7:20pm - love - by Good sister (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that to save money, he's been using the same condom for the last month. FML

#17974807
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49145) - you deserved it (5586)

On 10/13/2011 at 12:56pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I realized that the redneck, hick, abusive family that my co-workers always joke about is my family. FML

#17958563
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24032) - you deserved it (3398)

On 10/11/2011 at 7:52am - work - by anon - United States

Today, I took my friend with me for a radiology scan. While I was getting injections, my friend muttered, "On the bright side, if you die, you'll glow in the dark at the funeral." FML

#17952453
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23321) - you deserved it (3136)

On 10/10/2011 at 3:06pm - health - by radioactiveglowinthedarkthing (woman) - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, I was talking with my uncle, when the subject of my abusive mother-in-law came up. He assured me he'd talk to her and straighten things out. Apparently this means posting on her Facebook wall threatening to "pimp-slap a bitch" if she doesn't get her "fat ass out of family business". FML

#17931369
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25096) - you deserved it (3242)

On 10/07/2011 at 10:40pm - misc - by ...... (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend asked my father for permission to marry me. My father refused, on the basis that I'm the only person in the house with a job, and if I leave he will have to start looking for work. My boyfriend won't marry me without his permission, and my lazy father won't change his mind. FML

#17926185
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39167) - you deserved it (3083)

On 10/07/2011 at 5:07am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I saw a man dancing to a Britney Spears song in his Volkswagen Beetle. I started laughing hysterically until he got out. He was huge. I was stuck in traffic. FML

#17919835
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11202) - you deserved it (30673)

On 10/06/2011 at 1:04pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home from school and found my mother singing along to her latest investment, a compilation CD filled with heavy metal covers of ABBA classics. FML

Today, I got a text from someone I've been avoiding saying, "Can I come visit you today?" I replied, "No, sorry, I'm not home." They then replied "Then who is that in your living room?" FML

#17913530
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32677) - you deserved it (7251)

On 10/05/2011 at 7:48pm - misc - by Pookaa (woman) - United States (Maine)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: