Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

stevenJB

Search for a member

stevenJB
  • Town/Country : Anberlin, USA
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6562
  • Number of comments : 396
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About stevenJB : Yay you're my latest stalker! :D well, just to start off...I'm a rocker and metalhead so I listen to alot of punk,metal, rock. All that good stuff. I'm native American and have long black hair that is a few inches over a meter long (longer than my arm if I hold it out). I play electric guitar,bass guitar and sing some too. If you wanna know anything or know anything just send me a message. Because I have alot of free time >.> and feel free to kik me: "lockolaine"
"The only thing you should feel when you shoot somebody, is the recoil"

stevenJB's last visitors

suuperwholockJimmyHasNoHandsLeeBebonyrose2828Edogg215Semperfi92340kenzi455

stevenJB's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of stevenJB's badges

stevenJB's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, severing all forms of communication but one: Words With Friends. FML

#18653374
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21724) - you deserved it (2532)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:27pm - love - by ktinanic - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

#18649632
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21256) - you deserved it (2646)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend starts fights with me over text because apparently, when I'm arguing with someone, I stop speaking in "annoying shorthand" and am grammatically correct. FML

#18645768
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8058) - you deserved it (31052)

On 12/29/2011 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML

#18626777
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39800) - you deserved it (2059)

On 12/27/2011 at 5:32pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
332 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35659) - you deserved it (6345)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

#18614231
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25436) - you deserved it (2381)

On 12/26/2011 at 4:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent the day crying, and ate McDonald's for my Christmas dinner. FML

#18613200
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37855) - you deserved it (4769)

On 12/26/2011 at 1:33am - misc - by Holly Jolly (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I noticed that my girlfriend has a deeper voice than I do. FML

#18613086
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25770) - you deserved it (6820)

On 12/26/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Cary (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

#18609988
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30027) - you deserved it (4703)

On 12/25/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14650) - you deserved it (45864)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML

#18603475
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22826) - you deserved it (3244)

On 12/25/2011 at 12:27am - health - by Sleep Deprived (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after pouring my heart out to my girlfriend of 4 years through a speech that took me 3 weeks to write, and then proposing, she responded, "Eh, why not." FML

#18588248
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27229) - you deserved it (3180)

On 12/23/2011 at 11:38am - love - by LukeSkywalker (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

#18583551
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19755) - you deserved it (3461)

On 12/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by bellerz14 - United States

Today, after a long therapy session, in which I poured out all my feelings of how happy and in love I am with whom I believe to be my soul-mate, my shrink asked me if I was sure this guy wasn't a figment of my imagination. FML

#18576133
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23890) - you deserved it (3076)

On 12/22/2011 at 12:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML

#18561350
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22972) - you deserved it (4228)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by awalc - United States



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: