Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

stevenJB

Offline (the 04/20/2015 at 11:45pm) | Search for a member

stevenJB

8Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 10808
  • Number of comments : 396
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About stevenJB : Yay you're my latest stalker! :D well, just to start off...I'm a rocker and metalhead so I listen to alot of punk,metal, rock. All that good stuff. I'm native American and have long black hair that is a few inches over a meter long (longer than my arm if I hold it out). I play electric guitar,bass guitar and sing some too. If you wanna know anything or know anything just send me a message. Because I have alot of free time >.> and feel free to kik me: "lockolaine"
"The only thing you should feel when you shoot somebody, is the recoil"
UPDATE 12/20/14
Cut my hair off, will update profile info later.

stevenJB's page activity

Visits<b>CreepinCow</b> - the 06/30/2015 at 1:45am<b>raesos91</b> - the 06/29/2015 at 5:37pm<b>ireply_wlyrics</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 1:32pm<b>ilikevideosgames</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 2:23am<b>meikaze</b> - the 06/25/2015 at 12:10am<b>UselessReject23</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 1:45pm<b>mikuxxhatsune</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 6:36am<b>annoyedperson</b> - the 06/21/2015 at 2:29pm<b>whoaman123</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 7:48pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 06/20/2015 at 12:57am<b>anonymoussal</b> - the 06/18/2015 at 9:02am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 06/07/2015 at 8:56pm<b>Krastrolytric</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 4:38pm<b>rachelkoo</b> - the 06/05/2015 at 1:21am<b>kianabanannna</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 3:43pm<b>UserOfTheMind</b> - the 05/28/2015 at 10:31am<b>adamant84</b> - the 05/22/2015 at 12:52am<b>sh4rpestl1ves</b> - the 05/20/2015 at 8:37pm

Fucked!<b>UselessReject23</b> - the 06/24/2015 at 7:46pm<b>skiddymarker</b> - the 06/01/2015 at 8:36am<b>cadillacgal79</b> - the 05/03/2015 at 12:04am<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 10:39pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 04/03/2015 at 11:46pm<b>leeleeamber</b> - the 03/20/2015 at 12:31pm<b>DoomSkuller</b> - the 02/12/2015 at 8:02am<b>sneakattacked</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 6:09am

stevenJB's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of stevenJB's badges

stevenJB's favorite FMLs

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

#18649632
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23890) - you deserved it (2885)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States

Today, I found out my girlfriend starts fights with me over text because apparently, when I'm arguing with someone, I stop speaking in "annoying shorthand" and am grammatically correct. FML

#18645768
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9006) - you deserved it (35276)

On 12/29/2011 at 5:06pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was driving home from work when I saw the woman in the car in front of me throw something out the window. Only when it landed on my windshield did I realize what it was. A bloody tampon. FML

#18626777
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44541) - you deserved it (2367)

On 12/27/2011 at 5:32pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my 18-year-old son asked me if I was a virgin. I still don't know what to say to him. FML

#18626435
333 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42415) - you deserved it (8338)

On 12/27/2011 at 4:50pm - intimacy - by blegh (man) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my once-alcoholic mom told me that she would sell me for a shot of vodka. FML

#18614231
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29671) - you deserved it (2734)

On 12/26/2011 at 4:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I spent the day crying, and ate McDonald's for my Christmas dinner. FML

#18613200
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41465) - you deserved it (5155)

On 12/26/2011 at 1:33am - misc - by Holly Jolly (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I noticed that my girlfriend has a deeper voice than I do. FML

#18613086
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29136) - you deserved it (7261)

On 12/26/2011 at 1:17am - love - by Cary (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend trying to put his penis in a hole in our bedroom wall. FML

#18609988
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31615) - you deserved it (4867)

On 12/25/2011 at 7:07pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, I stayed up until 4 am. I was waiting for both my cats to fall asleep, so I could play Santa and stuff their stockings in secret. FML

#18605439
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17815) - you deserved it (51660)

On 12/25/2011 at 6:39am - animals - by Anonymoose (woman) - Switzerland (Zurich)

Today, I was awoken by my wife, once again. It seems that whenever I stop snoring, she thinks I died so she has to wake me to make sure I'm still living. She does this almost every night, every hour. FML

#18603475
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24016) - you deserved it (3364)

On 12/25/2011 at 12:27am - health - by Sleep Deprived (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after pouring my heart out to my girlfriend of 4 years through a speech that took me 3 weeks to write, and then proposing, she responded, "Eh, why not." FML

#18588248
197 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33352) - you deserved it (4179)

On 12/23/2011 at 11:38am - love - by LukeSkywalker (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I saw my dad sitting in the car alone, blaring classical music, blowing up beach balls. FML

#18583551
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21563) - you deserved it (3683)

On 12/22/2011 at 9:58pm - misc - by bellerz14 - United States

Today, after a long therapy session, in which I poured out all my feelings of how happy and in love I am with whom I believe to be my soul-mate, my shrink asked me if I was sure this guy wasn't a figment of my imagination. FML

#18576133
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25277) - you deserved it (3202)

On 12/22/2011 at 12:50am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I woke up with Skittles super glued to my forehead. FML

#18561350
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29206) - you deserved it (5612)

On 12/20/2011 at 12:48pm - misc - by awalc - United States

Today, my 7-year-old daughter came up to me in a noisy mall and said "boo-boo" pointing to her hand. Not paying enough attention, I kissed her hand to make her feel better. She grimaced and said "No dad, bird poo." FML

#18525865
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28346) - you deserved it (13403)

On 12/16/2011 at 4:08am - kids - by Oily (man) - New Zealand (Waikato)



FML's blog

  • Tania's illustrated FML
  • Hi gang! How are you all doing? This week has been quite eventful for some people. Uber has been causing taxi drivers here and there to get their knickers in a twist, notable over here in France, which caused…

Friday 26 June 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: