Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

stevenJB

Search for a member

stevenJB

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 8821
  • Number of comments : 396
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 23 posted

About stevenJB : Yay you're my latest stalker! :D well, just to start off...I'm a rocker and metalhead so I listen to alot of punk,metal, rock. All that good stuff. I'm native American and have long black hair that is a few inches over a meter long (longer than my arm if I hold it out). I play electric guitar,bass guitar and sing some too. If you wanna know anything or know anything just send me a message. Because I have alot of free time >.> and feel free to kik me: "lockolaine"
"The only thing you should feel when you shoot somebody, is the recoil"

stevenJB's page activity

Visits<b>Dynosaur_dollie</b> - yesterday at 11:29am<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 12/16/2014 at 8:30pm<b>ksadhera</b> - the 12/13/2014 at 12:10am<b>Retaheki</b> - the 12/09/2014 at 3:04am<b>FYLTHOUGH</b> - the 12/06/2014 at 10:57am<b>Majrdestroy</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 9:30pm<b>oops6663</b> - the 12/05/2014 at 12:51am<b>skylercoombs</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 9:30pm<b>Tbear11</b> - the 12/03/2014 at 8:56pm<b>Ashd09</b> - the 12/01/2014 at 12:35pm<b>turdoblast</b> - the 11/30/2014 at 8:56pm<b>turtles4life</b> - the 11/18/2014 at 2:19am<b>Inkay</b> - the 11/15/2014 at 9:43am<b>darkmatou</b> - the 11/10/2014 at 6:13am<b>Laeffy</b> - the 11/09/2014 at 12:58am<b>motherpuncher</b> - the 11/05/2014 at 9:42pm<b>Exotic_Nihilism</b> - the 11/03/2014 at 12:48pm<b>polarbearpiss</b> - the 11/02/2014 at 10:08pm

stevenJB's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Beginner

You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.

Why am I up so early?

You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.

See all of stevenJB's badges

stevenJB's favorite FMLs

Today, I came home with a friend to find my mom scratching my dad's butt with a fork. FML

#18754752
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30914) - you deserved it (2312)

On 01/09/2012 at 4:39am - misc - by maruskasommers (woman) - Czech Republic (Pardubicky kraj)

Today, at our wedding reception my new father-in-law gave his speech, saying his little girl was too good for me. Everyone, including my parents, agreed. FML

#18751726
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28511) - you deserved it (3001)

On 01/08/2012 at 10:43pm - love - by shades (man) - United Kingdom

Today, my boyfriend asked me for a blow job. After I said "no" over ten times, he decided to get up and slap me across the face with his penis. FML

#18744677
231 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49315) - you deserved it (46311)

On 01/08/2012 at 9:36am - intimacy - by omgwhyme (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was surprised that my husband suggested we take a shower together to save water. He also suggested we should wear our bathing suits so we don't have to see each others "privates." FML

#18744255
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52487) - you deserved it (4474)

On 01/08/2012 at 7:24am - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, my sister attacked me and stuffed a Tic Tac up my nose. I'm currently in the hospital waiting to have it removed. FML

#18738638
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29203) - you deserved it (2769)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:33pm - health - by tictacnose - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while helping my father build a shelf, I suggested that we should probably use the instruction manual. He suggested I should probably shut the fuck up and do it his way. FML

#18738481
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26952) - you deserved it (14008)

On 01/07/2012 at 7:12pm - misc - by Jman6295 (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend, I accidentally let one slip. While thinking "maybe he didn't hear, maybe he's sleeping", the shaking of the bed from his laughter let me know otherwise. FML

#18725237
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24351) - you deserved it (8606)

On 01/06/2012 at 10:50am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to ask my girlfriend to please stop telling me about her ex's penis. FML

#18705552
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45109) - you deserved it (4261)

On 01/04/2012 at 11:20am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, my boyfriend informed me that my vagina reminds him of ham. But that's okay, because ham is his favorite food. FML

#18704788
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31263) - you deserved it (5025)

On 01/04/2012 at 7:32am - intimacy - by thankzbabe (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend was giving me a hand job when she started crying. Despite my pleas for her to stop and attempts to comfort her, she insisted that she continue. I feel like a monster. FML

#18685700
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43620) - you deserved it (7109)

On 01/02/2012 at 12:30pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my mom I was going to a New Year's party. She told me to be back by midnight. FML

#18671764
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35231) - you deserved it (2976)

On 01/01/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by tooearly (man) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I was going over to my friend's house for the first time. A creepy-looking old man answered, and smiled at me. I asked "Is this the right house? Does Isaac live here?" He replied "Yes, he's in the basement. Would you like a drink?" Right then, Isaac called and asked me where I was. FML

#18671217
262 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46825) - you deserved it (3239)

On 01/01/2012 at 2:34am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, while shopping at Wal-Mart, a guy grabbed my butt. When I turned around to slap him, he shook his head, said "Nice ass but such an ugly face", then walked away. I've never been told I'm ugly before. FML

#18667019
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31410) - you deserved it (7626)

On 12/31/2011 at 7:51pm - misc - by thathurt (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got circumcised by my girlfriend's braces. FML

#18661455
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52388) - you deserved it (10714)

On 12/31/2011 at 4:21am - intimacy - by nickthetank (man) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me, severing all forms of communication but one: Words With Friends. FML

#18653374
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23384) - you deserved it (2670)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:27pm - love - by ktinanic - United States (Michigan)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Xmas illustrated FML
  • Here we go, final lap before Christmas is finally upon us. Although, you could say we've been subjected to quite a few strains of Christmas already. The decorations are up since mid-August, and certain family…

Friday 19 December 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: