About stevenJB : Yay you're my latest stalker! :D well, just to start off...I'm a rocker and metalhead so I listen to alot of punk,metal, rock. All that good stuff. I'm native American and have long black hair that is a few inches over a meter long (longer than my arm if I hold it out). I play electric guitar,bass guitar and sing some too. If you wanna know anything or know anything just send me a message. Because I have alot of free time >.> and feel free to kik me: "lockolaine"
"The only thing you should feel when you shoot somebody, is the recoil"
Beginner
You have looked through 5 pages of the website. That’s a start.
Why am I up so early?
You commented on an FML between 6 and 7 am.
An insomniac or a creature of the dark
You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.
Today, when I excitedly announced to my mother-in-law that I was pregnant, she looked at me with a blank expression and asked me who the father was. She's 45. She's not senile or suffering from dementia, but apparently just suffering from being a chronic bitch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28487) - you deserved it (2321)
On 01/17/2012 at 12:04pm - misc - by littlelottie - United States (Florida)
Today, my boyfriend, who is supposed to protect me from murderers and rapists, had an emotional breakdown because he was so excited that I'd cooked french fries for dinner. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11156) - you deserved it (16267)
Today, my wife posted on Facebook, "FUCK THA POLICE!" She got 40 likes. I'm a police officer. FML
I agree, your life sucks (33574) - you deserved it (7587)
On 01/16/2012 at 10:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States
Today, my dad got me to dance with him. After about a minute of waltzing to a song on the radio, he stepped away and said, "You smell bad. You need to take a shower." FML
I agree, your life sucks (6821) - you deserved it (18028)
On 01/16/2012 at 10:16pm - misc - by potatoes - United States (Texas)
Today, after having a naked wrestle with my boyfriend, I discovered he'd left a skidmark on my stomach. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28284) - you deserved it (10822)
On 01/16/2012 at 6:09am - love - by Crashburn (woman) - United Kingdom (Sheffield)
Today, while I was peacefully sleeping, I felt a hand suddenly slap my forehead. Then fingers began to press against my mouth, then nose, then eyes. I finally woke up to my girlfriend laughing hysterically. She'd confused me with her clock-radio. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20315) - you deserved it (2455) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, my girlfriend hummed the Jeopardy theme while I was trying to undo her bra. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23192) - you deserved it (17394)
On 01/15/2012 at 7:52am - intimacy - by joeshmoe - United States (Washington)
Today, this girl I liked made her Facebook status "Nobody texts me anymore, message me numbers?" I commented that I texted her. She deleted it and changed it to "Nobody that I care about texts me anymore, message me numbers?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (31650) - you deserved it (2461)
On 01/15/2012 at 1:24am - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, my boyfriend told me that he feels empty inside when I'm not in the kitchen. This is the most romantic thing he has said to me in the past two years. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17676) - you deserved it (4402)
On 01/14/2012 at 9:31am - love - by iheartmorons - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35346) - you deserved it (2760)
On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States
Today, I was on a date. I noticed he kept looking at my lips. Thinking he wanted to kiss me, I leaned in closer. Disgusted, he pulled away and said, "I'm sorry, but that pimple on your chin is, like, staring at me or something." FML
I agree, your life sucks (24554) - you deserved it (4276)
On 01/13/2012 at 4:32am - love - by sillvy - United States
Today, my mother threatened me if I keep wearing yoga pants to school, she's going to have my dad pick me up in a speedo. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10854) - you deserved it (31296)
On 01/11/2012 at 7:49pm - misc - by ThatOneGirl646 - United States (Michigan)
Today, I received a letter from the state saying my 14-year-old daughter is now legally recognized as a male. I have no idea what happened. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35936) - you deserved it (3355)
Today, my teacher started talking about me quietly to the stuffed cat, called Rufus, that she keeps on her desk. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17219) - you deserved it (1425)
On 01/10/2012 at 12:25am - work - by jumbledgirl (woman) - United States
Today, I received a string of blank texts from an unknown number. When I asked who it was, I got a list of every place I've been over the last three days. I'm scared to leave the house. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35964) - you deserved it (1897)
On 01/09/2012 at 9:34pm - misc - by liLbob6598 - United States (South Carolina)
Monday 20 May 2013
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