About stevenJB : 6/26/16
Don't feel too excited about writing another updated bio, just shoot me a message on KIK username is "lockolaine"
About stevenJB : 6/26/16
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stevenJB's favorite FMLs
Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML
by smart move there / 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm / Ireland (Kildare) / Intimacy
Today, I was at the supermarket checkout. I handed over my items, which included some tampons, tissues, and toilet roll. The security guard standing beside the cashier remarked loudly, "I'll be damned; she's flowing from every hole!" FML
by lafinesse / 05/14/2012 at 6:23pm / Miscellaneous
by anonymous / 05/14/2012 at 6:31am / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy
Today, I found out that a family member found a publisher for his book; his badly written, terribly sourced, historically inaccurate book that insults and misrepresents most world cultures and religions. If this actually makes it to print, I'll never be able to use my maiden name again. FML
by AmatureLitCritic / 05/14/2012 at 3:37am / United States (Oregon) / Miscellaneous
Today, I was having phone sex with my boyfriend. Trying to be sexy, I told him what I was doing with my vibrator. I heard a loud bang, followed by him shouting, "Why don't you just fucking marry it, then?!" and then hanging up. FML
by 504-A1 / 05/11/2012 at 6:02pm / Canada (Ontario) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/11/2012 at 3:30pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Kids
by polimeros / 05/09/2012 at 6:19pm / Mexico (Queretaro de Arteaga) / Intimacy
by Anonymous / 05/08/2012 at 9:59pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
Today, I went with my boyfriend to the optometrist for him to buy contact lenses for the first time. He said the detail was much better than glasses. I excitedly asked him if he could see my freckles better now, and after a long and disappointed look at my face, he said "Nope, just more acne." FML
by Anonymous / 05/06/2012 at 12:41am / Canada (Alberta) / Love
by catherineratley / 05/06/2012 at 12:09am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation
Today, my little sister came to me crying about how everyone calls her a bad driver. I gave her a pep talk, an encouraging hug, and told her not to listen to negativity. Five minutes later she wrecked my car. FML
by 464424 / 05/05/2012 at 2:24am / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by CALIdime_15 / 05/05/2012 at 1:42am / United States / Intimacy
Today, feeling desperate, I asked my dad for advice on how to get a girl. He asked me why I want to even date. I panicked and said I just wanted to make someone happy. He told me that if I wanted to make someone happy, I should "just start by getting a goddamn vasectomy". FML
by AnonymousUser / 05/04/2012 at 8:01pm / Australia (Queensland) / Love