This member hasn't filled in the description.
Consolation prize
Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.
Profile completed
You’ve filled out the necessary details. Having done so will be much appreciated.
50 favourites
Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!
Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (106166) - you deserved it (5366)
On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend and I were laying naked in my bed making out. All of a sudden, we hear "pop goes the weasel" outside my house. My boyfriend stops and excitedly says, "ICE CREAM MAN", flips me over, grabs his clothes, and runs out of my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (88918) - you deserved it (14370)
On 04/30/2009 at 8:15am - intimacy - by soooyeah (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I performed in my school play. Right before my big solo, I noticed a few girls changing backstage and I became aroused. The play was Jesus Christ Superstar, and I was playing Jesus. All I was wearing was a little cloth, so the whole audience saw Jesus get hard during the crucifixion. FML
I agree, your life sucks (82171) - you deserved it (30303)
On 04/14/2009 at 11:27pm - intimacy - by jizzlemonster13 (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my girlfriend and I were watching TV. She starts to undo my belt buckle, unzips my fly and then takes my pants off. Right as I'm starting to get really excited, she says to me, "Just joking." FML
I agree, your life sucks (123118) - you deserved it (18301)
On 04/13/2009 at 9:44am - intimacy - by Hikara (man) - Australia (Victoria)
Today, for the first time ever, a woman saw my penis. I am 30 years old. The woman was my doctor. She snorted to cover a laugh and apologized. FML
I agree, your life sucks (214436) - you deserved it (26856)
On 04/10/2009 at 5:40pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)
Today, brand new cocktail dress: $300. Matching peep toe heels: $100. Getting my hair done at the salon: $80. Treating myself to a mani/pedi: $50. When finally meeting the guy I have been chatting online with for 2 months, I find out hes my cousin: priceless. FML
I agree, your life sucks (148048) - you deserved it (46648)
On 04/10/2009 at 2:42pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for awhile, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML
I agree, your life sucks (275640) - you deserved it (23245)
On 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm - intimacy - by creepermagnet (woman) - United States (Maryland)
Today, I logged onto my computer to access a video from my porn stash. However, the folder was empty except for my favourite file. Thinking that a virus deleted everything, I was thankful my favourite file remained. When I opened it, I saw a video of my parents telling me not to masturbate. FML
I agree, your life sucks (83770) - you deserved it (4501)
On 04/04/2009 at 10:44am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I got on an elevator with a woman and her child. I was the first one on. When she stepped on, the capacity alarm went off. As she left she told her daughter that's why fat people shouldn't be allowed in public. I'm 145 lbs. She was twice my size. I got called fat by a hippopotamus. FML
I agree, your life sucks (137038) - you deserved it (8750)
On 03/31/2009 at 10:17am - health - by warp_routine (woman) - United States (Vermont)
Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. After what seemed like an eternity of waiting, he finally entered me, then paused and asked me, "what do I do now?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (108576) - you deserved it (10305)
On 03/31/2009 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a 7 year old girl came up to me and told me to fuck myself. I told her to watch her language or else I'd tell her parents. Her mom happened to be nearby and actually heard this conversation, she came up to me and told me to fuck myself as well. FML
I agree, your life sucks (192827) - you deserved it (18020)
On 03/30/2009 at 1:06am - kids - by Wmsys32pr9 (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was talking to my guy friend about prom. I told him I was turned down by 7 guys. So he said "Well, you could always ask me." I then said "Do you want to go to prom with me?" His response was "Nope...now that's 8!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (114558) - you deserved it (21981)
On 03/27/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by rejected (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I was feeling sick and having trouble breathing easily. I decided to take a nap and apparently ended up sleeping with my mouth wide open since breathing was an issue. I woke up to my boyfriend trying to put his penis in my mouth. FML
I agree, your life sucks (137177) - you deserved it (24580)
On 03/26/2009 at 9:45pm - intimacy - by coughandcold (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I got married wearing a strapless dress. As I walked down the aisle, our wedding photographer stepped out behind me to get a shot of me approaching my husband. Instead of stepping out, though, he stepped on. Stepped on my dress. Pulling it completely down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (101066) - you deserved it (6479)
On 03/26/2009 at 9:38pm - love - by bride (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, this girl and I were chilling in my apartment and things got heated up and we started making out. One thing lead to another and the next thing I knew she was giving me head. I was getting ready to bust when she stopped, looked up into my eyes and said "Do you believe in Jesus?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (162410) - you deserved it (22108)
On 03/26/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by JAY22 (man) - United States (Florida)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
The website: FML t-shirts -
Love - Animals - Money - Kids - Work - Health - Intimacy - Miscellaneous - Members
RSS feeds: 
Follow the FML 
Follow the FML blog Follow the FML comments
Go on the road: BlackBerry - Android - iPhone/iPod Touch - Windows Phone 7 - Mobile version
Give stuff to people: FML book - FML t-shirts
FML Everywhere: Français - Italiano - Español - Türk - Pусский - Svenskt - Indonesia
