Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

steele95

Search for a member

steele95
  • Town/Country : Baton Rouge, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Sunday 30 April 1995 (18 years)
  • Number of visits : 329
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

steele95's last visitors

iHiccupBSdemi94Mimi12589StorvollengmokshaChazzyWazzy1998U_GotitDudeBlowinChronic

steele95's FML badges

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

Up and coming moderator

It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of steele95's badges

steele95's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

#19862258
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18117) - you deserved it (3179)

On 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm - misc - by zombieguyswife (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up to the sight of my boyfriend playing a game on my iPhone with his penis. FML

#19781755
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29054) - you deserved it (4449)

On 06/13/2012 at 12:07pm - intimacy - by Rosie (woman) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, my girlfriend said I could only take her virginity while I have a flaccid penis, so I won't hurt her. I get hard from just staring at her covered ass. FML

#19131405
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36491) - you deserved it (5416)

On 02/21/2012 at 2:17pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I had a cop pull me over because he claimed that he saw me taking a bunch of colorful pills at the previous stop sign. I was eating skittles. FML

#17502057
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32592) - you deserved it (2026)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50pm - misc - by candymansvan17 - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my wife and I almost got a divorce over a game of Yahtzee. FML

#17398977
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23412) - you deserved it (13767)

On 08/07/2011 at 5:44pm - love - by Username - United States

Today, while parking my car, I accidentally bumped into the car in front of me, making a small, barely noticeable dent. I felt bad, wrote an apology note, and stuck it on his windshield. An hour later, he replied by keying the entire right side of my car. FML

#14162371
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23321) - you deserved it (8887)

On 12/11/2010 at 2:40am - misc - by immunizations - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was given new meds, and apparently my body doesn't understand the difference between "may cause stomach upset" and "you will crap yourself as you have an orgasm while having sex with your boyfriend." FML

#13261613
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41462) - you deserved it (4500)

On 09/30/2010 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, whilst at my awards night, I got a boner, right as it was my turn to accept my award. To avoid a awkward situation, I flipped it up and under my belt. This failed to make the situation any less awkward, because the head of my penis poked out through my shirt, in plain view of the audience. FML

Today, my father yelled at me for changing 1 of his 2 programable seat positions in his car because he uses both. Apparently, 1 is for sober driving and 2 is for high/drunk driving. Go dad. FML

#7353049
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25218) - you deserved it (2972)

On 01/15/2010 at 2:24am - misc - by Goobie (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out that my sister who is 16 years older than me is actually my biological mother. She and my parents decided it was best that I didn't know who my real mother was, and to be raised by my grandparents as their child. I've always hated my sister. FML

#5701860
309 comments

I agree, your life sucks (144474) - you deserved it (5023)

On 10/07/2009 at 12:07pm - misc - by dinosaurman (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, as I was texting a friend, I was going to warm up some cold pizza. As I got finished with a text I put the pizza in the microwave and set the timer. After the timer ran out, I opened the door and smelled burnt plastic. Turns out phones aren't meant to be in the microwave. FML

#3083696
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10942) - you deserved it (53903)

On 06/21/2009 at 3:34am - misc - by TBaggins00 (man) - United States (Illilois)

Today, I was on the bus when my crush told me to come and sit with him. I got all excited, especially when he put his arm around me. He then whispered in my ear "Hey, is your friend over there single?" FML

#2761787
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45253) - you deserved it (2645)

On 06/09/2009 at 11:34pm - love - by vishurricanes (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my family was preparing a turkey for my grandma's birthday dinner when my aunt noticed a utensil on the counter and asked what it was for. My mom said it was used to keep the turkey's legs together. My aunt responded to her by saying, "Maybe you should get one for your daughter." FML

#1690188
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (90292) - you deserved it (19961)

On 05/06/2009 at 12:57pm - intimacy - by Familyskank (woman) - United States (Minnesota)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: