About starwind3438 : Just a guy who is addicted to this site. It's good entertainment while on the bus. I'm a laid back nice guy. I'm also mildly autistic so some of my posts may not make a whole lot of sense. Feel free to message me.
50 quality responses
Clicking reply to a comment is a worthy thing to do. To do so without getting buried is even better.
100 kick ass comments
100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!
Up and coming moderator
It’s nice of you to help us sort out the submissions, using FML’s moderate feature.
Today, while taking a stroll in the park, a kid walked up to me and asked, "Do you believe in unicorns?" I answered, "No." He dunked his ice cream cone on my head, laughed hysterically, and ran off screaming, "BELIEVE!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (22475) - you deserved it (8391)
On 09/13/2011 at 5:21pm - misc - by unicorn - United States (Georgia)
Today, I tried to scare a new college friend by sneaking up behind her wearing a mask. It worked. And so did her lightning fast reflexes developed from multiple martial arts championships. My 2 cracked ribs, broken nose and bruised ballsack can now be added to her list of achievements. FML
I agree, your life sucks (8322) - you deserved it (34653)
On 09/03/2011 at 1:24am - misc - by only1bigdogme - United States (South Carolina)
Today, while going around trying to find a job, a manager came up to ask me, "Are you looking to work here?" I nodded happily, hoping this would be the end of my search. She looked me up and down, saw I had a jacket on to hide my tattoos and said, "Sorry, I can't hire heroin addicts." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21618) - you deserved it (7245)
On 08/23/2011 at 2:50am - work - by Protectress (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my Dad and I went to McDonald's, only to have him shove two handfuls of sugar packets into the bag. He said, "If it's for free, why only take one?" To make it worse, my crush was at the till, watching what was happening. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18037) - you deserved it (2382)
On 08/17/2011 at 3:14am - money - by AshamedDaughter - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I slipped on a plastic bag that my mom, the hoarder, was keeping on the stairs. I fell and sprained my ankle, getting rug burn in the process. Her response? Getting mad at me, putting the bag back on the stairs, then getting another to add to the pile. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22219) - you deserved it (1969)
On 08/14/2011 at 12:36am - health - by MomLovesMeLessThanTrash - United States (California)
Today, my 14-year-old son was terrified of going into the water near our house, because he was scared of having his leg bitten off by a shark. We live by a lake. I tried explaining why it couldn't happen, but he just cowered behind a beach towel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19582) - you deserved it (3086)
On 08/13/2011 at 9:17pm - kids - by anonymous - United States
Today, I informed my parents that my husband and I are separating after much deliberation. We came to this conclusion relatively peacefully. According to my parents, I'm now Satan, and will end up on the streets as a crack whore if we don't change our minds and stay together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21518) - you deserved it (2602)
On 08/11/2011 at 2:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada
Today, I informed my parents that my husband and I are separating after much deliberation. We came to this conclusion relatively peacefully. According to my parents, I'm now Satan, and will end up on the streets as a crack whore if we don't change our minds and stay together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21518) - you deserved it (2602)
On 08/11/2011 at 2:04am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada
Today, at work in a liquor store, a man came in to demand a refund because after he "drank the whole bottle of Jack" he "couldn't get it up" for his wife. He thought that alcohol was supposed to be an aphrodisiac, and blamed me personally for his "whiskey dick". FML
I agree, your life sucks (25648) - you deserved it (2278)
On 08/09/2011 at 2:24am - intimacy - by OyGeeze28 (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was working in costume at a recreation of a Confederation-era town. I had to convince a visitor that it's not, in fact, an Amish village, and we do actually leave after five. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15340) - you deserved it (1745)
On 08/08/2011 at 12:07am - work - by a-mishunderstanding -
Today, in one fell swoop, my testicles and spirits were simultaneously crushed into submission by the girl I like. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20343) - you deserved it (3134)
On 08/06/2011 at 5:34pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, the woman I'm training at work asked, while staring intently at the keyboard, "now, which one of these buttons is the space-bar again?" She is 80 years old, types about 1 word per minute, and I have just one week to get her completely trained. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22156) - you deserved it (1772)
On 08/05/2011 at 10:42am - work - by jhftrainer23 - United States (Iowa)
Today, the woman I'm training at work asked, while staring intently at the keyboard, "now, which one of these buttons is the space-bar again?" She is 80 years old, types about 1 word per minute, and I have just one week to get her completely trained. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22156) - you deserved it (1772)
On 08/05/2011 at 10:42am - work - by jhftrainer23 - United States (Iowa)
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36272) - you deserved it (10746)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)
Today, my son drew in Sharpie all over the wall, so I spanked him as punishment. When my boss came over for dinner, my son shouted, "Daddy made me take my punishment in the butt." FML
I agree, your life sucks (36272) - you deserved it (10746)
On 08/02/2011 at 12:58am - kids - by ohcrap - United States (Colorado)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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