About starile : I kick ass. Ask me how!-The Simpsons-J-rock music-Entrepreneurialism-Comic books-Video games-Writing music-Drawing-Jesus-Japanese culture-Being a BOSS. Living the dream.
starile's FML badges
The Thumb strikes back
You have left your thumbprint on 2500 comments.
A new Thumb
You’ve used your thumb on 1000 comments.
Editing your comments can help you avoid embarrassment, and it might make you seem smarter.
starile's favorite FMLs
Today, things were getting heated with the girlfriend. We were mostly naked, but mostly wouldn't do, so I kissed her deeply and whispered into her ear, "You should lose some weight". Clothes. I meant to say clothes. FML
by Spooprfailed / 04/08/2014 at 1:32am / Canada (Manitoba) / Intimacy
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said yes, but the ring turned out to be quite tight on her finger. She then chewed me out, saying that I can't do anything right, then changed her answer to no. FML
by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 12:25pm / Serbia / Love
by blackcat37 / 09/28/2013 at 6:53am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 09/28/2013 at 12:08am / United States (Ohio) / Love
by fml / 09/03/2013 at 2:31am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I woke up to a very unpleasant feeling. Apparently, the tattoo I got on my arm a couple of days ago attracted hundreds of ants during its healing process. They were literally carrying away pieces of my skin. I can not get the feeling or image out of my head. FML
by aly55a_mariie / 08/20/2013 at 3:04pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
Today, I asked this really cute girl for her number. I had nothing else on me so I told her to write it on a dollar bill. Later, without thinking, I put it in a vending machine. I freaked out and frantically pushed the return button. It gave me back quarters. FML
by gavinbanks / 07/21/2013 at 6:55pm / United States (Oregon) / Love
Today, the elevator got stuck in between floor 4 and 5 at my doctors office. I had been having violent diarrhea. It was the reason I was at the doctor. Elevator was stuck for 35 minutes. During that time, I diarrhea'd in my pants twice. There were seven other people in the elevator. FML
by Christopher / 12/13/2010 at 4:16am / Canada (Alberta) / Health
Today, I called my mom for her birthday. She started talking about an infomercial she'd seen for a combo bidet-and-dryer, and how she would like to get one so she can feel "fresh down there" without worrying about getting bits of toilet paper on her nether regions. I can't un-hear this. FML
by Anonymous / 10/12/2010 at 1:46am / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous
by Nothingonyou / 09/08/2010 at 3:35am / Miscellaneous
by PCop / 08/02/2010 at 7:21pm / United States (Tennessee) / Work
Today, my girlfriend of 2 years broke up with me because she said I was more of a woman than she was. I yelled out, "I HATE YOU!" and started to cry. She then took a tampon out of her purse, handed it to me, laughed, and walked away. FML
by GirlishMan1883897 / 07/24/2010 at 6:53am / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, my best friend was texting me about her sick dog. She wrote "Do you think she will get better?", so I wrote "I hope she does". It wasn't until later that I realized I accidentally wrote "I hope she dies" instead. FML
by poordog / 01/04/2010 at 10:32pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals
Today, I saw an article that Burger King is selling a whopper with seven patties in celebration of the Windows Seven release. Upon reading this, I immediately got an extremely forceful erection. I think this is a sign to stop putting off that diet. FML
by Brian / 10/26/2009 at 12:25am / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
- Today, I was outed. I'm 43 years old and have been in the closet since I realized I was gay in the… Today, while at dinner for our three year anniversary I told my boyfriend that I believed there was… Today, well, last night, I woke up feeling as though I was about to puke. I rushed over to my trash…
- Today, I’m teaching French in a university in India. One of the students asked me if Paris was the… Today, I’m in Mexico for an internship. I was at a party when a drunk guy harangued me, calling me… Today, I couldn't get into my car. I got mad at the lock, and my key broken inside it. It wasn't my…