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Today, I lost the remote control to my TV. I can't change the channel manually on it, and the channel it's stuck on is currently playing an infomercial for the Pos-T-Vac penis pump. I've been watching this for an hour now. I'm a female, and I'm beginning to feel like I need this product. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22695) - you deserved it (8023)
On 10/11/2010 at 6:50am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, after weeks of thinking and playing every outcome possible in my head, I told my parents I'm gay. My dad nodded and didn't even look up from his book; my mom told me to go to the doctor if it starts to itch. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27603) - you deserved it (7401)
On 10/09/2010 at 2:47am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, after me and my boyfriend had pretty much amazing sex, he took off the condom and started swinging it back and forth, all while making the sounds of a clock and saying, "You are getting sleepy." FML
I agree, your life sucks (21821) - you deserved it (4826)
On 10/08/2010 at 8:01am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I was watching tv with my grandpa, and he stops flipping channels on a movie with a hot naked chick getting oiled down. Suddenly the remote lands on my stomach as my mom and grandma walk in the door. They yelled at me for being a pervert for an hour, while my grandpa sat and chuckled. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29687) - you deserved it (3190)
On 09/24/2010 at 6:22am - misc - by Andrew - United States (Indiana)
Today, I came home to my wife crying. She had mixed up our newborn twin girls and couldn't tell which was which. I looked at the girls. Neither could I. FML
I agree, your life sucks (43029) - you deserved it (6025)
Today, my boyfriend proposed. The ring just had a piece of graphite on it. My boyfriend argued that since graphite and diamonds are both just forms of carbon, it is the same thing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26232) - you deserved it (10561)
On 09/04/2010 at 10:08am - misc - by pencilring (woman) - United States
Today, I woke up with a burning sensation on my butt. Remembering that yesterday I was bit by a fire ant, I decided to reinspect the bite. I found ten more which itch and burn. My parents' new nickname for me is "Firebutt". FML
I agree, your life sucks (19541) - you deserved it (3180)
On 08/28/2010 at 12:04pm - health - by Firepants (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was enjoying a nice shower in the morning. While I was massaging the shampoo out of my hair, I saw the gardener walking past my bathroom window, yelling "Good morning" and waving in my direction. My left boob politely waved back at him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10175) - you deserved it (17050)
On 08/24/2010 at 8:08pm - intimacy - by AlexaSt2611 (woman) - Paraguay (Central)
Today, I was driving home with my dad after buying a new truck. We were on the freeway and the engine wasn't revving up very much. My dad thought that something was wrong with my transmission, so he reached over to change gears. Most cars won't go into reverse at high speeds. Mine does. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20725) - you deserved it (2244)
On 08/23/2010 at 7:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, I heard my mother and father having sexual intercourse, and I found out that my mother moans the same way as my girlfriend. Guess who I now think about every time my girlfriend moans? FML
I agree, your life sucks (39272) - you deserved it (4379)
On 08/22/2010 at 8:14am - intimacy - by shawty - Australia (Queensland)
Today, my boyfriend decided it would be funny to record us having sex and me screaming his name. He set it as my ringtone without telling me. I had my phone volume on high as I was hanging out with my family. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27624) - you deserved it (7729)
On 08/18/2010 at 8:51pm - intimacy - by XxMe123xx - Sent from mobile version
Today, I had to moisturise my dog's testicles because they got sunburnt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (34765) - you deserved it (5645)
On 08/04/2010 at 6:24am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML
I agree, your life sucks (20708) - you deserved it (37563)
On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)
Today, I've recently gained weight so I bought an exercise video. I started it right away in my room on the top floor. My younger sister screamed and ran outside a few minutes later. She thought it was an earthquake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28858) - you deserved it (8551)
On 07/14/2010 at 12:32am - health - by sarah - United States
Today, I was at walmart when my stomach began to hurt. I quickly waddled to the restroom in pain. As soon as I got in the stall, a huge crap exploded out of me. The child in the stall next to me started crying. When her mom asked what was wrong she said that I'd "killed her nose". FML
I agree, your life sucks (49201) - you deserved it (6978)
On 06/30/2009 at 7:53am - health - by poopshooter101 (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Monday 17 June 2013
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