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sssde1

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  • Number of visits : 390
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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sssde1's page activity

Visits<b>Freethaawave</b> - the 07/15/2013 at 11:51pm<b>NoFlippinWai</b> - the 05/07/2013 at 4:58pm<b>LiveLoveBeatles</b> - the 04/04/2013 at 9:40pm<b>Dany93</b> - the 03/05/2013 at 10:41am<b>Diesel_baby</b> - the 02/07/2013 at 11:11pm<b>samcro3</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 6:41pm

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sssde1's favorite FMLs

Today, I had satanic gastric distress. Attempting to make light of this fact, and, being incredibly bored and seemingly alone at work, I managed to fart the intro to "Smoke on the Water" perfectly. Somebody clapped. FML

Today, my house is on lockdown. I recently moved to Georgia from Rhode Island to be with my boyfriend. The state is on high alert for an ice storm. I'm stuck inside with my terrified boyfriend, who's calling it "the storm of the century". I used to walk to school in this weather. FML

#21058111
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46361) - you deserved it (5333)

On 02/12/2014 at 1:25pm - misc - by Stuck - United States (Georgia)

Today, as a priest's helper in church, I was giving Communion. It took me three people to realize that every time I was giving them the Eucharist, I was saying, "May the force be with you". FML

#21041278
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41333) - you deserved it (12482)

On 01/26/2014 at 11:37pm - work - by sabz21 - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my 4-year-old daughter figured out how to set a parental code lock on our television so we can't watch football because it scares her when we scream. She won't tell us no matter what we bribe her with. FML

#21010264
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44913) - you deserved it (23378)

On 12/30/2013 at 7:10am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, we went boating with friends. For some reason the bottom of our tube deflated, causing me to be bounced roughly up and down on the water. As a result, I had the most intense orgasm of my entire life, while sitting 2 inches away from my dad's friend. He definitely noticed. FML

#20862305
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56075) - you deserved it (5979)

On 08/31/2013 at 9:21pm - intimacy - by SplishSplash (woman) - United States

Today, I went skinny-dipping with my friends. At one point, I jokingly pointed out how one of them had the smallest boobs of us all. She calmly got out of the pond, dried herself, scooped up our clothes and phones, and drove off in her car. The cops she called arrived soon after. FML

#20861665
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22033) - you deserved it (64829)

On 08/31/2013 at 12:25pm - misc - by criminal tit offender - United States (Alabama)

Today, while I was sleeping, apparently I rolled over towards my fiancé and told him "We gotta save the turtles!" and had a five seconds long fart. Now he won't stop making fun of me. FML

#20861263
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42943) - you deserved it (7327)

On 08/31/2013 at 2:04am - misc - by fartz (woman) - United States

Today, I was working the drive-through at McDonald's. I greeted a customer with a, "Hi, how are you doing today?" His response: "Better than you." FML

#20795022
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46878) - you deserved it (7778)

On 07/21/2013 at 12:15am - work - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friends took my work laptop and changed the sounds. Now, whenever I remove a USB device, a woman's voice screams "Put it back!" and when I insert a USB device, it says "Oh, you need to push it in harder!" I don't know how to change it back. FML

#20793994
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54663) - you deserved it (6337)

On 07/20/2013 at 11:45am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Delaware)

Today, I was explaining to my son that porn isn't a realistic depiction of sex. Just as I finished explaining to him that threesomes rarely happen in real life, he started crying. I feel like a dream-crushing monster. FML

#20756438
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47285) - you deserved it (9220)

On 06/30/2013 at 5:44pm - kids - by sorry, kiddo (man) - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, my house was broken into. The burglar didn't steal my brand new laptop, iPad or TV. They instead made off with every single item of clothing I own. When I went to turn on my TV to try and distract myself from this, I found all of the cables in back missing. The police don't believe me. FML

#20753916
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47563) - you deserved it (2550)

On 06/29/2013 at 5:55am - misc - by Angry and Confused - United States (Nevada)

Today, I woke up to a flooded basement. That basement is my bedroom, so I'm completely surrounded by water. All I need is a tiger and this would be like The Life of Pi. FML

#20752548
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45301) - you deserved it (3427)

On 06/28/2013 at 2:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, after discovering that our son is already sexually active, I asked my husband to have a talk with him. "Remember, son, it's all about the clit", wasn't what I had in mind. FML

#20713183
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60730) - you deserved it (13789)

On 06/08/2013 at 6:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, while sexting my girlfriend, I accidently sent a picture to her father instead of her. He sent back a link to a penis enlargement company's website. FML

#20705129
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30747) - you deserved it (65435)

On 06/04/2013 at 8:15am - misc - by tinypenis - United States (New York)

Today, I witnessed a large woman pee on a pregnancy test in the middle of a Walmart parking lot, clean herself off, then wander around with the test hanging out of her mouth, waiting for her result. Where in the name of Christ do these people come from? FML

#20701323
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67951) - you deserved it (4144)

On 06/02/2013 at 2:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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