srhshl

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srhshl

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 2530
  • Number of comments : 34
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 7 posted

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srhshl's page activity

Visits<b>Hiimhaileypotter</b> - the 05/29/2015 at 6:40pm<b>Spillelister</b> - the 02/11/2014 at 5:52pm<b>DementedOtaku</b> - the 12/12/2013 at 9:33pm<b>2_Fn_funny</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 10:44am<b>error404n0tf0und</b> - the 10/29/2013 at 4:48pm<b>xxmollyxx</b> - the 09/04/2013 at 1:43am<b>Gweetle</b> - the 08/03/2013 at 5:43am<b>ama87</b> - the 04/21/2013 at 12:11pm<b>Neilish</b> - the 02/23/2013 at 4:44am<b>AllegroRubato</b> - the 02/22/2013 at 6:42pm<b>incendiaaa</b> - the 02/21/2013 at 12:21am<b>13ky13</b> - the 02/04/2013 at 11:01am<b>carry_on</b> - the 01/27/2013 at 1:25pm<b>buckdharma</b> - the 01/25/2013 at 9:29pm<b>oicu812xD</b> - the 01/20/2013 at 8:32am<b>Covenant74</b> - the 01/19/2013 at 5:55am<b>joshiepo0</b> - the 01/18/2013 at 12:57am<b>yellowchocobo</b> - the 01/16/2013 at 10:22am

srhshl's FML badges

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srhshl's favorite FMLs

Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML

by Wisconsin love / 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Intimacy

Today, two guys broke into my apartment to rob me at gunpoint. While I was wanking. FML

by Anonymous / 12/01/2010 at 12:11am / United States (Louisiana) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend and I were about to have sex for the first time. He got on the bed on all fours and crawled towards me, saying "My precious... my precious" in Gollum's voice. FML

by single / 11/09/2010 at 9:10pm / United States (Virginia) / Intimacy

Today, I saw my boyfriend shaving his pubic hair before we had sex. This would be fine, except he was saying "Nom nom nom, I eat cock hairs" to his electric razor. FML

by Anonymous / 10/17/2010 at 1:55am / United States (Missouri) / Intimacy

Today, my 4 year old son told his preschool teacher that his daddy could pick up 10,000 cows but couldn't pick up his mommy because she was too heavy. I'm the mommy. FML

by princessj / 10/16/2010 at 1:50am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Kids

Today, I had a wet dream about having sexual relations with a rubber duck. FML

by Anonymous / 10/09/2010 at 1:15am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the beach with my parents. They were walking hand in hand, when they spotted a crab. My Dad turned to my Mum and said "Oh, must've crawled out of my pubes!" they both laughed and kissed. I don't think they realized I was within hearing distance. FML

by Anonymous / 10/02/2010 at 9:12am / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, my whole family was sitting in the kitchen. My sister was stoned and passed out in our dog's bed. My dad was drunk, yelling "who's your daddy" at his plate of barbecue, and my mom just sat there with that, "what the hell happened to my life" look on her face. FML

by Anonymous / 09/13/2009 at 5:27am / United States (Missouri) / Miscellaneous

Today, my daughter used the kids potty chair on her own for the first time. Bad: The bucket was not in it so poo hit the floor. Good: she tried to clean it... Bad: with her socks. Good: she decided to clean the socks. Bad: she used the wall. Good: she finally called dad. FML

by Udxero / 09/10/2009 at 3:51am / United States (Texas) / Kids

Today, in Burger King, I was leaning against the railing looking at the menu. I saw an old man using the rail to walk, so I got out of the way. He ran his hand across my back and said "You're so cute, I'd like to take you home and lock you in my basement naked so you can't leave" and walked out. FML

by Anonymous / 08/21/2009 at 12:01am / United States (North Dakota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out that my boyfriend is cheating on me, with the same guy I was cheating on him with. FML

by shandrith / 07/03/2009 at 10:16am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I allowed my five-year old daughter to paint my fingernails during a living-room "picnic" we were having. A while later I got called back in to work for an emergency meeting. When I arrived at the meeting I noticed my fingernails were still neon-green. I am a 40-year old man. FML

by psychortiz / 06/03/2009 at 1:40pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I was in a tour group going through a cave and our guide stopped, turned off the lights, and told us to be quiet so we could feel absolute silence. I farted. FML

by fartmaster / 04/22/2009 at 3:10pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was going to have sex with my Hispanic boyfriend. I wanted to turn him on, so I asked my friend how to say "fuck me" in Spanish. She claimed it was 'pollo frito'. I then had sex, constantly screaming 'pollo frito' for an hour. I later realized I was screaming "fried chicken." FML

by FML.. / 04/06/2009 at 3:51pm / China (Hebei) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a date with a guy for the first time. We went to Starbucks and got coffee. We talked for a while, and we were joking and having a good time. Suddenly, he put his hand on my stomach and said, "Soon, this will be plump with my seed." FML

by creepermagnet / 04/06/2009 at 3:39pm / United States (Maryland) / Love