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Today, my boyfriend asked me to play dead so he could have sex with my "corpse." FML
I agree, your life sucks (44742) - you deserved it (5780)
On 02/07/2011 at 12:44pm - intimacy - by Anon. (woman) - United Kingdom (Bradford)
Today, I found out that my mom screams like a dying monkey while having sex. Even with my music turned up all the way, I can still hear her through our paper thin walls. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29246) - you deserved it (2351)
On 02/06/2011 at 2:38pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, it was both my and my stepmother's birthday. In preparation, my dad bought a huge banner with my stepmother's name on it, and a lovely birthday cake. When I told him it was also my birthday, he just grunted and taped a post-it note to the banner with my name on it. Same with the cake. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31970) - you deserved it (2209)
On 02/05/2011 at 3:30pm - misc - by stinkerweeder (woman) - United States (Utah)
Today, my husband decided it would be funny to shout "Woohoo!" in Michael Jackson's voice while having an orgasm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22757) - you deserved it (4590)
On 02/03/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous -
Today, while my boyfriend and I were having sex, he stopped, got off, walked into the kitchen grabbed a doughnut, and came back to finish while he ate it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27755) - you deserved it (5521)
On 02/02/2011 at 3:59pm - intimacy - by jessica - United States (Utah)
Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex. Right before I was about to climax, he asks "Do you remember when you bought the homeless guy with one leg a hot dog?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (25119) - you deserved it (3279)
On 02/02/2011 at 12:17am - intimacy - by anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I was startled awake at 4am by a loud and awful sound. Completely serious, I asked my fiancé if he had just shit his pants. His response: giggles followed by a softly whispered "maybe". FML
I agree, your life sucks (30135) - you deserved it (3852)
On 02/01/2011 at 8:43am - love - by Anonymous - United States
Today, while I was waiting at a bus stop, a man stopped at the red light and smiled at me. I smiled back. He blew me a kiss and drove away, just as I realized he was masturbating behind the wheel. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22670) - you deserved it (3218)
On 01/31/2011 at 4:34am - intimacy - by mentallyscarred - United States (California)
Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40056) - you deserved it (3032) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Today, while at my boyfriends place, I thought I would be nice by folding his laundry and putting it away since he was working late. I opened his sock drawer and sitting on top was a photo of his mother, naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (44562) - you deserved it (3306)
On 01/29/2011 at 1:55am - intimacy - by FamilySecret - United States
Today, after months of living with my roommate's horrific snoring, I looked over to see her sleeping quietly. Elated that I might actually get a full night of rest for once, I went to bed. Just as my eyelids began to droop, she started making vile hissing sounds. Yes, hissing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20032) - you deserved it (2091)
On 01/21/2011 at 2:46pm - health - by turnedintoinsomniac (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it was my daughter's birthday. She had been wanting a cat for a long time, so I went to the animal shelter and got an orange one. As soon as she saw it, she ran upstairs screaming, "GINGER! GINGER!" She refuses to come downstairs until I get rid of "the soulless creature." FML
I agree, your life sucks (27519) - you deserved it (6169)
On 01/19/2011 at 10:44pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, while socializing after a church service, I discovered I'm still referred to as "Fireshit's brother", after an incident a year ago which involved my sister screaming "the devil is coming out of my anus!" from the lavatory. FML
I agree, your life sucks (23236) - you deserved it (2378)
On 12/25/2010 at 1:20am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)
Today, I was in a public restroom taking a dump. It's difficult for me to do it in public, so to make it easier I kept telling myself "Nobody's here, you're all alone." I then heard "No, you're not." I didn't realize I was saying it out loud. And that I wasn't alone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11065) - you deserved it (20110)
On 12/14/2010 at 4:26am - health - by shit (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to speak Parseltongue to my vagina to "prepare the Chamber of Secrets for entry". FML
I agree, your life sucks (33515) - you deserved it (8029)
On 12/13/2010 at 12:35pm - intimacy - by Wisconsin love - United States (Wisconsin)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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