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squinch265

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squinch265

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  • <3 status : With someone
  • Number of visits : 82
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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squinch265's favorite FMLs

Today, I'm planning my big sister's wedding. My long-term, live-in boyfriend walked by and saw me looking at the wedding tab on Pinterest, smirked, and said, "Don't get your hopes up." I had. FML

#20674650
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49499) - you deserved it (7430)

On 05/20/2013 at 12:47am - love - by ForeverAlone (woman) - United States

Today, I decided to turn my life around and start exercising more. I didn't even make it out the door before I tripped and fractured my ankle. FML

#20550992
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36384) - you deserved it (4270)

On 03/19/2013 at 3:35pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my husband asked me to spoon him. He used it as an excuse to start farting on me. Yep, this is my husband. FML

#20086703
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25844) - you deserved it (5776)

On 09/24/2012 at 3:16pm - intimacy - by disgusted - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I returned home to my parents' house, drunk. Hungry, I grabbed a slice of bread and some butter and took two mouthfuls. Five hours later, my mother woke me up and dragged me to the kitchen. In the middle of the table was a buttered, half-eaten sponge. FML

#19959363
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10718) - you deserved it (36831)

On 07/19/2012 at 2:55pm - misc - by Bontempi (man) - France

Today, I found out that I'm allergic to bacon. FML

#19903031
306 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62461) - you deserved it (5037)

On 07/07/2012 at 12:45am - health - by Dammit - United States (California)

Today, a kid I taught to swim became my new boss, at the pool that I have worked at for nine years. FML

#19703809
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25053) - you deserved it (3333)

On 05/30/2012 at 9:51am - work - by chlorinesmells - United States

Today, while showering with my boyfriend, he asked if something was weird about his penis. Naturally, I looked closer. As soon as I did, he sprayed my face with urine. This is only the beginning; we just moved in. FML

#19586096
362 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46182) - you deserved it (8851)

On 05/07/2012 at 5:42am - intimacy - by quirrus (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave birth to our first child. Our nurse was the lady I had a one night stand with 3 nights ago, and yes she remembered me. FML

#19584401
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13300) - you deserved it (168906)

On 05/06/2012 at 9:44pm - intimacy - by T3STI (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

Today, I realized that the "holla" tattoo I stupidly got on my lower lip five years ago isn't fading as I expected it to, and will probably contribute to my unemployment for years to come. FML

#19376711
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5624) - you deserved it (66097)

On 03/30/2012 at 3:13pm - work - by bananamuffin - United States

Today, I felt sorry for the weird chick at work that everybody avoids and decided to initiate a conversation with her. She interrupted me mid-sentence to tell me about her vaginal odor problems, before shoving her hand into my chip packet and inviting herself to dinner at my house. FML

#19113154
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38183) - you deserved it (7838)

On 02/19/2012 at 4:15am - intimacy - by meet Chloe - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm forced to eat half a package of saltine crackers in my room for dinner. I can't go downstairs to the kitchen because my two roommates are going at it on our kitchen table. FML

#19091381
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27094) - you deserved it (3295)

On 02/16/2012 at 2:13am - intimacy - by robzzz (woman) - Canada

Today, my mom told me to clean the house up because she wants to make good impression on the cleaning lady. FML

#18933049
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27993) - you deserved it (2631)

On 01/28/2012 at 11:19am - misc - by messyvictor (man) - United States (California)

Today, I realized my boyfriend is so seldom romantic that it actually makes me uncomfortable when he says something cute. FML

#18913466
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24214) - you deserved it (4257)

On 01/26/2012 at 1:23am - love - by sad life (woman) - United States

Today, I got my period at school. I didn't notice until a boy asked me if I'd killed someone in my pants. FML

#18802819
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42635) - you deserved it (3828)

On 01/14/2012 at 2:47am - health - by shitttyyyday - United States



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