splitsides

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splitsides

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 June 1990 (25 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 6045
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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splitsides's page activity

Visits<b>tagallopes</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 9:53pm<b>pumpkinpii</b> - the 07/12/2014 at 3:44am<b>Mornai</b> - the 11/09/2011 at 2:17am<b>ArrowOfTruth</b> - the 09/13/2011 at 6:57pm<b>JERZBornNRaised</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:54pm<b>Freeze</b> - the 09/10/2011 at 9:13pm<b>lmc94</b> - the 07/24/2011 at 11:46pm<b>timberwolf800</b> - the 07/20/2011 at 2:02pm<b>BABTcakes</b> - the 05/03/2011 at 5:49pm<b></b> - the 03/10/2011 at 3:51am<b>hosscat74</b> - the 12/12/2010 at 3:56am<b>astm</b> - the 10/21/2010 at 9:06am<b>green_eyes124</b> - the 09/20/2010 at 2:54am<b>oxoashleeoxo</b> - the 08/25/2010 at 10:47pm<b>fisheatsbear</b> - the 06/18/2010 at 3:06am<b>krissytina</b> - the 06/14/2010 at 12:43pm<b>TaterSalad187</b> - the 05/04/2010 at 7:07pm<b>ElMundio87</b> - the 11/26/2009 at 1:35pm

splitsides's FML badges

50 favourites

Love knows no boundaries. You’ve already got 50 FMLs in your favourites list!

Consolation prize

Your FML was denied. We had to at least give you a badge to cheer you up a bit.

It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

See all of splitsides's badges

splitsides's favorite FMLs

Today, at 2 in the morning, my water broke. I called my mom and woke her up to come watch our older kid, while my husband and I went to the hospital. After being tested at the hospital, I was told I had just peed myself. FML

by Anonymous / 05/07/2011 at 1:58am / Canada (Ontario) / Health

Today, I woke my husband up at 2am, screaming that there was a badger in our bedroom. We both screamed for a bit until he finally says, "What are we screaming about!?" I took a second look at the badger, and realized it was my four year old daughter with her blanket. FML

by BadgerSpirit / 04/27/2011 at 9:35am / United States (Washington) / Kids

Today, while buying groceries, I noticed that the lady in front of me had left a box behind. I grabbed the box and ran out the door after her. After turning around to find three employees chasing me, I noticed I had just stolen the donation box. FML

by magicman / 04/26/2011 at 12:45am / Canada (British Columbia) / Money

Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML

by bham boy / 04/20/2011 at 4:10am / Work

Today, my boss friend-requested me on Facebook. My profile picture is of me licking his employee of the month picture for a dare. FML

by asdfjkl / 04/15/2011 at 3:51pm / United States (North Carolina) / Work

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

by mottephobe / 04/06/2011 at 2:22am / United States (Utah) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend and I were playfully arguing about who loved the other more. After about a minute of this, my girlfriend walked over and kicked me in the crotch as hard as she could. She then said, "There, now you don't love me as much. I win." FML

by ouch / 03/28/2011 at 11:33pm / United States (Arizona) / Love

Today, I co-starred in a production of Hamlet. Halfway through play, the actor playing Hamlet forgot his lines, threw a raging temper tantrum, screaming about how much he hated the play and how he wanted to go home in front of hundreds of audience members. FML

by Sue / 03/26/2011 at 11:41am / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, after my 22 year old son realized that there was no more contact solution, he decided to use tequila because he thought it would "kill the germs." We had to go to the hospital to have his eyes flushed out. I raised this moron. FML

by WTF / 03/16/2011 at 6:05pm / Health

Today, I emailed my potential boss a copy of my résumé. However, I didn't realize until too late that it was my fake resume, created for an English class project. Some of my former jobs included being a certified gangster, as well as the former president of Canada. FML

by Almostfunny / 03/16/2011 at 9:01am / United States (Massachusetts) / Work

Today, while at the bakery section of my local supermarket, I heard the beat of what I assumed was a song playing. I really got into it, and bobbed my head and danced a little. After getting some strange looks, I realized the "beat" was a machine mixing frosting. FML

by Anonymous / 03/12/2011 at 10:09pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was telling my students that it's unnecessary to put arrows on the bottom of the page to tell me there's work on the back, I check it anyway. At the end of the day, at least 6 kids came up to me asking to change their grade because I forgot to grade the back. They hadn't put arrows. FML

by Anonymous / 03/03/2011 at 8:52pm / United States (North Carolina) / Kids

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

by panda / 03/03/2011 at 6:20am / Animals

Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to stick her finger up my ass during sex. I screamed like a little girl and barely managed to finish. Afterward, she said, 'Now you know how it feels.' FML

by Anon. / 03/01/2011 at 6:51pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I got a call from my daughter’s teacher asking me to come pick her up. My daughter wouldn’t tell her what was wrong. I left an important work meeting. When I got there she stated her boyfriend broke up with her and she couldn't emotionally make it through the rest of the day. She's 5. FML

by mom21 / 02/08/2011 at 12:46pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Kids

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.