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splitsides

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splitsides
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Thursday 21 June 1990 (23 years)
  • Number of visits : 4962
  • Number of comments : 101
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 3 posted

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splitsides's FML badges

50 favourites

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Consolation prize

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It’s in the can

Hey, you uploaded your photo, and you’re cute as a kitten!

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splitsides's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw what I thought was a spider. Wanting to kill it as quickly as possible, I smacked my hand against the wall with force. It was a nail. FML

#17843188
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15836) - you deserved it (25933)

On 09/26/2011 at 10:03pm - health - by Jesus (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML

#17727595
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (80456) - you deserved it (11873)

On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I realized too late that a picture in my school Powerpoint presentation of thousands of New Zealand sheep, was actually a picture of thousands of naked men in a field. FML

#17709255
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14293) - you deserved it (29839)

On 09/10/2011 at 3:11am - misc - by FullOfNick (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was eating some popcorn with a guy, and I noticed a piece of hair coming out my mouth. I pulled it... and pulled it... and eventually some popcorn pieces came out attached to the end of the hair. I was so embarrassed, he tried to make me feel better by saying it looked like a magic trick. FML

#17708928
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27391) - you deserved it (3660)

On 09/10/2011 at 1:57am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was working alone in the office with my brother. He's run out of work to do, so has been singing Disney songs loudly and badly, throwing stationery at me, and just now snuck up on me from behind and wrapped duct tape round my face. It's just us in the office next week. FML

#17696149
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19320) - you deserved it (2241)

On 09/08/2011 at 11:41am - work - by whyarewerelated (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I heard on a TV show that it's possible to fit a standard light-bulb in your mouth, but it can't be removed afterwards. I just had to try this out. And then visit the local hospital to get it removed. FML

#17695095
289 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6888) - you deserved it (56190)

On 09/08/2011 at 6:00am - health - by Stuck (man) - United States

Today, at my dental practice, we received a shipment of the stupid flavoured gloves my boss ordered to make the place more "friendly to the kids". I started working in an adult patient's mouth, when he decided to start creepily making out with my fingers. FML

#17661211
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29921) - you deserved it (2490)

On 09/04/2011 at 12:42pm - work - by -- - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I spent thirty minutes in the shower trying to remove "Pierre", a face complete with moustache that my girlfriend drew in sharpie on the tip of my cock. FML

#17628880
225 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25174) - you deserved it (9730)

On 08/31/2011 at 10:23am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Bristol)

Today, I tried to back out of a spot in a parking garage. I did a 12 point turn, hit the car behind me and still didn't manage to get out of the spot. Everyone was staring at me, and the attendant had to come over and move my car for me. I have to park there every day. FML

#17628239
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8017) - you deserved it (18827)

On 08/31/2011 at 7:07am - misc - by greatdriver...4 (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, while riding in the car with my mother, we got into an argument, at which point she pulled the vehicle over, took the key out of the ignition and used it to turn off the passenger airbag. She then continued driving in silence. FML

#17526290
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31999) - you deserved it (4348)

On 08/20/2011 at 2:23am - misc - by W1D0 - United States (Illinois)

Today, I got a flat tire in the middle of nowhere. I called AAA, and they said it would take 2 hours to get there. They called 2 hours later saying they got a flat tire and would be there in another 2 hours. FML

#17499857
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35493) - you deserved it (2708)

On 08/17/2011 at 12:45pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up exhausted because a croaking frog had kept me awake the night before. This has happened every night for the past week, and no matter how far away I take the frog, it always ends up sitting in the same place the next morning. FML

#17490517
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23214) - you deserved it (4978)

On 08/16/2011 at 2:18pm - misc - by froggylicious - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I met my new neighbor. His wi-fi access point is named "TheRapistDownstairs." FML

#17483730
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31697) - you deserved it (2552)

On 08/15/2011 at 8:30pm - misc - by creepedoutlady - United States

Today, my family dragged me to an Alien-themed museum. They're convinced they were once abducted and felt up by creatures from outer space. They talk, and spend all their money, on nothing else. I'm hungry. FML

#17462682
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21678) - you deserved it (2110)

On 08/13/2011 at 7:21pm - misc - by Help (woman) - United States

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

#17447833
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39071) - you deserved it (5894)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)



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