spillproof

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spillproof

1Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 61838
  • Number of comments : 135
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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spillproof's page activity

Visits<b>johnnycena</b> - the 02/18/2016 at 11:13pm<b>IAm123</b> - the 01/31/2016 at 12:54am<b>xXEcs123Xx</b> - the 01/07/2016 at 1:16am<b>kassia_1011</b> - the 01/01/2016 at 3:25am<b>ragnarok1540</b> - the 10/15/2015 at 11:37pm<b>nightwalker52</b> - the 09/23/2015 at 11:28pm<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 8:09am<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 05/18/2015 at 7:35pm<b>wackyheartache4</b> - the 04/22/2015 at 5:20pm<b>TheTshirt</b> - the 04/07/2015 at 12:31am<b>pockyyx3</b> - the 03/04/2015 at 9:01pm<b>AHotCupOfCoffee</b> - the 08/20/2014 at 3:55pm<b>Demonface54</b> - the 06/30/2014 at 9:26am<b>Federgirl</b> - the 04/28/2014 at 1:18am<b>abbey728</b> - the 01/13/2014 at 7:36pm<b>Hattering</b> - the 01/06/2014 at 4:40pm<b>pizzaturtles</b> - the 12/29/2013 at 4:20am<b>kylemannsaustins</b> - the 07/06/2013 at 8:07pm

Fucked!<b>kittykat1501</b> - the 06/04/2015 at 2:09pm

spillproof's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

spillproof's favorite FMLs

Today, I got a call from my parents' divorce lawyer. When I answered the phone, she thought I was my mother and told me the details about my parent's divorce. I'm a 13-year-old boy who sounds like a woman and just learned that my parents are separating. FML

by madaskueuchiha / 08/07/2009 at 11:57pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a serious shit when the light bulb burned out. I am terrified of the dark and began wailing and crying. My mom had to pick the lock and get me out. I'm a 17 year old guy and captain of the Varsity football team. My little brother recorded it and plans on showing everyone. FML

by scaredshitless / 08/07/2009 at 12:11am / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was watching a movie with my new boyfriend. I got tired so I thought it would be cute to fall asleep on him. He woke me up and said "You got me wet" Thinking it was a joke, I said smoothly, "That's what she said" He replied "No really." I looked down, I'd drooled all over his shirt. FML

by drooler / 08/05/2009 at 10:23pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was picking my daughter up at day care. She was outside playing kick ball. A red ball rolls over to me, and trying to impress the kids, I kicked it over the slide. I turn around to see three crying six year olds. It was their hamster ball. FML

by Anonymous / 08/05/2009 at 1:10pm / United States (New York) / Kids

Today, I was talking with a close friend (who is a virgin) about why he did not want to have sex with a prostitute. He told me that "It's not nice to know that the girl you are having sex with has slept with half the country", he then added "That is exactly why I would not have sex with you". FML

by unlucky / 08/05/2009 at 12:29pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Intimacy

Today, my brother's best friend spent the night and was changing with the door partially open. He's super hot and as I was watching him change, he sneezed. Forgetting he didn't know I was watching him, I said bless you. He called me a freak, slammed the door in my face and told my parents. FML

by jeeperspeepers / 08/02/2009 at 6:03pm / United States (Washington) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a great night of sexual pleasure, I ran to answer the door. The angry woman standing there introduced herself. ''Hi, I'm your neighbor. My seven year old son's bedroom is just next to yours and when you scream at night he gets scared. Do you think you could keep it down?'' FML

by kmb04 / 08/02/2009 at 11:12am / Canada (Quebec) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

by NinjaPanda88 / 08/01/2009 at 3:44am / United States (California) / Love

Today, my mom came into my room to have a heart to heart talk. My dildo was sitting on the nightstand. I didn't notice until she told me to make sure the dog didn't get it. FML

by BrokenVow / 07/30/2009 at 8:02am / Canada (British Columbia) / Intimacy

Today, my cell phone was stolen. I work in a morgue. By myself. Obviously it wasn't stolen by any of those people. FML

by emily / 07/30/2009 at 4:58am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was trying to wiggle my boxer shorts off to get it on with my girlfriend when my knee hooked on the elastic band. I was anxious to get started, so I used force and ended up kneeing my girlfriend in the crotch. FML

by solomantis / 07/30/2009 at 1:46am / Norway (Oslo) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the mall and someone peeked their head under the door of my dressing room while I was half dressed. Not knowing who it was, I kicked him in the face just out of instinct. Its was a 4 year old kid looking for his mother. FML

by 4yrldkicker / 07/29/2009 at 4:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife found out my son masturbated and wanted to send him to counseling. Thinking she was overreacting, I told her I masturbated when I was a teen so he should turn out like me. She began sobbing uncontrollably. FML

by Anonymous / 07/29/2009 at 12:46pm / United States (Vermont) / Intimacy

Today, I was at the store with my mother in the facial care section. I found this device that scrubs your face with those anti-bacterial pads. The aisle was crowded and noisy, so I shouted to my mother, "Can I have this vibrator thing?" It went silent. FML

by Nikse / 07/29/2009 at 3:23am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, my father pulled me aside right before heading off to my girlfriend's house. He said "Next time you have sex, don't leave the tied up condom in its wrapper inside your short's pocket, otherwise your mother might find it again as she's folding laundry." FML

by condom_kid / 07/27/2009 at 10:34am / United States (New Hampshire) / Intimacy