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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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spiker84

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spiker84
  • Town/Country : Boulder, United States
  • Title : Mister
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 272
  • Number of comments : 13
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 1 posted

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spiker84's favorite FMLs

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for halloween. He said "Single". FML

#13610925 (142)

I agree, your life sucks (33562) - you deserved it (3315)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to the beach with this boy I like. Not thinking it'd be anything more than a simple date, I didn't shave my downstairs. We were sitting on a towel and I laid down. Then he said, "Is there a squirrel in your pants?" FML

#13245157 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (12283) - you deserved it (25579)

On 09/29/2010 at 1:59am - intimacy - by Claire (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend was going down on me. After removing my underwear, he started singing "In the jungle, the mighty jungle..." FML

#12030730 (331)

I agree, your life sucks (19320) - you deserved it (35300)

On 07/21/2010 at 7:44pm - intimacy - by Wawawiwa (woman) - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I went to the physician to check my rear because it was hurting. My usual doctor wasn't available, so he was replaced by a gorgeous woman with big cleavage. when she asked me to pull down my pants, she saw that I had a huge hard on. FML

#8726872 (253)

I agree, your life sucks (8213) - you deserved it (9259)

On 02/28/2010 at 7:33pm - intimacy - by Joel_28 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I sneezed while I was throwing up into the toilet. It turns out that throwing up is even less pleasant when the puke violently shoots out through your nose. FML

#8554799 (185)

I agree, your life sucks (22892) - you deserved it (1446)

On 02/22/2010 at 2:32pm - health - by mynoseburns (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, while serving a rather large party at the restaurant where I work, I mentioned that the soup of the day was "to die for". After the hosts gave me weird looks, it dawned on me that the reason they were wearing all black is because they've just come back from a funeral. FML

#8372297 (107)

I agree, your life sucks (15434) - you deserved it (7444)

On 02/17/2010 at 11:32am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went to the doctor for horrible stomach pains. He said I had an abnormal amount of stool in me, and that I'd need to flush it out. I called my mom and told her what happened, to which she responded, "I always knew you were full of shit, I didn't need a doctor to tell me that." FML

#7631341 (131)

I agree, your life sucks (23253) - you deserved it (4735)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:01am - misc - by Crap (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my loser roommate got wasted. He comes to me before going to bed, tells me he loves me, tries to hug me, then explosively vomits all over my face, my hair, my clothes. Then spends the rest of the night retching. FML

#6114528 (37)

I agree, your life sucks (22338) - you deserved it (1591)

On 11/02/2009 at 1:47am - health - by theRoomie (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was teaching a woodshop class. We were using power tools, including drills, and pieces of pine wood. While helping a kid to hold a piece to practice drilling, he went too far forward with the drill. It went through my hand. FML

#5697763 (154)

I agree, your life sucks (37938) - you deserved it (7877)

On 10/07/2009 at 3:05am - work - by screwed (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while talking to my boyfriend, I was frantically searching for my cell phone. He was curious as to what I was doing so I told him. There was long silence followed by laughter. He could hardly breathe as he told me, "Honey you're on your phone talking to me." FML

#4609824 (265)

I agree, your life sucks (8368) - you deserved it (53068)

On 08/17/2009 at 8:16pm - misc - by hunnydoll (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finally worked up the nerve to text the girl I've had a crush on to ask her on a date. I got back the reply, "Error message 3265: Number No Longer In Swrvice." Not only can she not spell, when I looked it up, "error 3265" doesn't even exist. FML

#4606159 (284)

I agree, your life sucks (60041) - you deserved it (5812)

On 08/17/2009 at 5:41pm - love - by ZSL (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was on an airplane back from California. I decided to check out my new $1500 MacBook that I bought the day before. My son decided to projectile vomit all over me, my new computer, and my bag. None of it got on him. FML

#4377271 (143)

I agree, your life sucks (30728) - you deserved it (3747)

On 08/08/2009 at 1:27am - misc - by New computer - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was looking at my friend's dad's Facebook pictures because he recently posted a status update. I saw him at a bar with some ugly hooker that he was feeling up in almost every picture. After about 10 minutes of ridiculing and laughing at this ugly woman, I realize it's my mom in a wig. FML

#3591095 (88)

I agree, your life sucks (40880) - you deserved it (5520)

On 07/08/2009 at 8:07pm - love - by disturbed2103 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I had an interview with IBM. For a week I did extensive research and preparation for the interview. At first the interview was going really well. I was hitting all the marks. Then just as a final casual question she asked with a smile "What does IBM stand for?". I didn't know. FML

#3134533 (178)

I agree, your life sucks (27660) - you deserved it (17536)

On 06/22/2009 at 11:34pm - work - by MrZhang (man) - Australia (New South Wales)