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spazzychild

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spazzychild
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 August 1998 (14 years)
  • Number of visits : 857
  • Number of comments : 6
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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spazzychild's favorite FMLs

Today, I saw a naked man for the first time in my life. It was the nude model in my art class. I was forced to draw wrinkles and fat rolls in places I didn't even know existed. FML

#18727646
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21822) - you deserved it (3489)

On 01/06/2012 at 5:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark

Today, I was diagnosed with a clogged milk gland. I am not, nor have ever been, pregnant and therefore have also never breastfed. This condition is caused by my boyfriend's over-active urge to suck on my nipples. I'm in horrible pain, and he won't stop laughing. FML

#18698902
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27092) - you deserved it (4425)

On 01/03/2012 at 6:07pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time to meet my family. The night consisted of my sisters hiding in a tent and chasing us around in it, my parents singing songs from 'The Lion King' opera-style and throwing cheese at him. Pretty sure he's freaked out. FML

#18650275
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21654) - you deserved it (2929)

On 12/30/2011 at 1:35am - love - by wellthatsawkward (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I was taking people's orders at the drive-thru. I was confused as to why people were screaming their orders at me, until one of my managers handed me a paper that he'd found taped to the menu, saying "speak loudly speaker isn't working properly." Punkd. FML

#18649632
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18360) - you deserved it (2093)

On 12/30/2011 at 12:38am - work - by Ashton Sprunger - United States

Today, I bought cupcakes from a bakery by my work. I took them home, at which point my mother screamed at me because she's on a diet. Hours later I found the whole box empty. Great self-control, mom. FML

#18649240
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18185) - you deserved it (3153)

On 12/29/2011 at 11:56pm - misc - by hdkgdkvdjd - United States (California)

Today, my 9 month old son realized he is just as tired as I am. His solution is to cry loudly. My solution was to cry along with him. FML

#18631898
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23675) - you deserved it (3458)

On 12/28/2011 at 3:14am - kids - by anonymous - United States (Oregon)

Today, I heard someone calling my name. It was my neighbor. Turns out they named their dogs after my mother, my sister and me. FML

#18560105
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23761) - you deserved it (2671)

On 12/20/2011 at 6:49am - misc - by IHopeYourDogsGetDiarrheaAndPoopOnYourBed (woman) - Mauritius

Today, my girlfriend tried to cover my eyes while I was driving on the main street, all because she caught me looking at an ad featuring bikini-clad girls on the bus ahead of our car. FML

#18553944
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20504) - you deserved it (4128)

On 12/19/2011 at 3:31pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, my brother and I proposed to our girlfriends at the same time. We had perfect synchronization after practicing for days. My brother's girlfriend said yes, mine said no. FML

#18552373
213 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42823) - you deserved it (3760)

On 12/19/2011 at 10:40am - love - by emmmbo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I got screamed at, threatened, cursed, and spat on by an elderly couple for "running them off the road". I was driving an ambulance, lights and sirens on, with a 4 year old in the back who couldn't breathe. They were going 20 in a 50mph zone for 2 miles straight. FML

#18542050
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40346) - you deserved it (1581)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:44am - work - by Sedici - United States

Today, I'll be sleeping in my car for umpteenth time this year, because my psychotic wife is again convinced that I'm sleeping with practically every woman in my state. I'm too broke to pay for a divorce, and too embarrassed to go to a friend's house. FML

#18531545
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25291) - you deserved it (3927)

On 12/16/2011 at 10:29pm - love - by agony (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I went down on my boyfriend for the first time. Afterwards, he laid on the bed, silent and naked in the fetal position, I had to sit there stroking his head for an hour. I think I raped my boyfriend. FML

#18483356
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40975) - you deserved it (5770)

On 12/11/2011 at 6:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was with my boyfriend and we were talking about childhood memories. He told me about a girl he made fun of in middle school. That was me. FML

#18479280
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30657) - you deserved it (2572)

On 12/10/2011 at 8:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I lost my virginity. Afterwards, he told me that he was only doing this because he wanted to know if he still truly loves his girlfriend. FML

#18474670
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39495) - you deserved it (10330)

On 12/10/2011 at 7:03am - intimacy - by Anonymousss95 - Sweden (Stockholms Lan)

Today, I took my daughter to see Santa at the mall. When I went to pick her up from Santa's lap, my watch snagged on his beard, pulling it off in front of my daughter and about twenty kids in line. My daughter still isn't speaking to me. FML

#18460196
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20705) - you deserved it (3237)

On 12/08/2011 at 12:41pm - kids - by childdreamkiller (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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