spazzychild

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Offline (the 10/20/2015 at 4:46pm)

spazzychild

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 August 1998 (18 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 5583
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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spazzychild's page activity

Visits<b>Chronic_Night</b> - the 12/06/2015 at 7:25pm<b>kewlkali</b> - the 07/01/2013 at 1:45pm<b>BellaBelle</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 2:35pm<b>jerzjay</b> - the 06/10/2013 at 4:06am<b>gary3768</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 11:27pm<b>Domo17</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 10:24pm<b>Mornai</b> - the 06/09/2013 at 9:12pm<b>WDLfootball</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 1:02am<b>pompousjackass</b> - the 10/02/2011 at 1:27am

spazzychild's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

See all of spazzychild's badges

spazzychild's favorite FMLs

Today, I found out that my partner thinks love is more meaningful than sex, so it's okay to stick his penis in someone else. FML

by Munkeh / 04/12/2012 at 4:42pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Intimacy

Today, my ex-husband officially became my step dad. FML

by ladylarni / 04/07/2012 at 4:20am / Australia / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd never made a girl orgasm. I didn't think much of it until he decided to go down on me. Every time he got me close to orgasm, he'd stop and ask, "Are you about to come?" or "Does that feel good?" Now I can see why he's never made a girl orgasm. FML

by Anonymous / 04/02/2012 at 10:07pm / United States (North Carolina) / Intimacy

Today, I flew to Florida with my grandma. She tried to go through airport security with a pocket knife in her backpack. FML

by yelyah / 03/29/2012 at 12:19pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated, and he started to go down on me. In excitement, I accidentally drove a knee into his face. No amount of fondling his diddlestick made him forgive me for his bloody nose and swollen eye. FML

by Anonymous / 03/16/2012 at 4:23pm / Ireland / Intimacy

Today, my fiancé came home drunk with some girl. Then he told her that I was his sister. FML

by elisabeth_pwnes / 03/16/2012 at 6:38am / Norway (Vestfold) / Love

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. She said it's a good thing, because it was a "mutual decision", and that while she wouldn't mind staying together, I was the one who wanted to split, and she respected my decision. I wish I had been a part of this delusional conversation. FML

Today, I was chatting to a nice girl at the mall, and I said if she didn't get a raise, I would write to the management. She said they have no email address, and I replied that I meant an actual letter. "Like, on paper?" she said, "Damn, how old are ya, pops?" I want a ticket off this planet. FML

by S. Michaels / 03/14/2012 at 11:17am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to explain to my friend that the world did not used to be black and white. It was just the pictures that were. She still doesn't believe me. She's eighteen. FML

by CierraJordan / 03/14/2012 at 7:31am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, my therapist gave me some great self-sufficiency advice. It sounded familiar. When I got home I realized she had been quoting Christina Aguilera songs. For £100 an hour. FML

by PixieWrists / 03/13/2012 at 1:33pm / United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire) / Health

Today, my girlfriend and I agreed to tell her parents that she's pregnant. When they started freaking out, instead of dealing with the situation maturely, she went into straight-up Tard Mode and said, "It's okay, I'm not the mom." FML

by yamsterr / 03/12/2012 at 12:27pm / United States / Love

Today, I was at my girlfriend's house for the first time. I cracked a joke that offended her, so she gave me the silent treatment. I had to pee, and since she wouldn't tell me where the bathroom was, I went to look for it. I walked in on her parents making love. FML

by banned / 03/09/2012 at 1:59am / United States (California) / Intimacy

Today, my son asked me for advice over his girlfriend not "respecting" his pathetic need for near-constant sex. I got so bored listening to the misogynistic horse-shit spewing out of his mouth that I totally zoned out. I came to as he started hurling abuse at me for not siding with him. FML

by Alfie4 / 03/05/2012 at 5:30pm / United Kingdom (Kent) / Intimacy

Today, my girlfriend revealed to me that she has primeisodophobia. What is primeisodophobia, you may ask? Well, it's the fear of losing your virginity. FML

by virginkiller / 03/03/2012 at 8:23am / Singapore / Intimacy

Today, while waiting tables, I watched a woman pull the bacon off her roast beef melt and eat it. She then called me over and spent several minutes complaining about the our chefs' inadequacy because they didn't put bacon on her sandwich. FML

by craigtm029429 / 03/01/2012 at 7:47pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Work