Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

spazzychild

Search for a member

spazzychild
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 August 1998 (15 years)
  • Number of visits : 2436
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

spazzychild's last visitors

kewlkaliBellaBellejerzjaygary3768Domo17MornaiWDLfootball

spazzychild's FML badges

Keen reader – Level: student ninja

You have voted for 15% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

Keen reader – Level: master ninja

You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of spazzychild's badges

spazzychild's favorite FMLs

Today, I had to have a long and awkward meeting with my boss. It wouldn't have been too awkward though, if I didn't have to avoid staring at her exposed breast whilst she fed her 8 week old baby. FML

Today, I found out from her teacher that my daughter in kindergarten gets the little boys in her class to play grown-ups with her. It's basically dry humping and groaning. FML

#19822134
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27850) - you deserved it (8182)

On 06/21/2012 at 1:40am - kids - by Bad Mommy - United States (California)

Today, my sister asked me if I was going to be getting married "for real" this time, because she didn't want to waste her money like she did on my previous engagement. The reason that one didn't work out in the first place is because she slept with my fiancé. FML

#19797334
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42770) - you deserved it (2008)

On 06/16/2012 at 3:03pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML

#19793582
398 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35092) - you deserved it (3816)

On 06/15/2012 at 6:13pm - misc - by 16590 (man) - Sweden

Today, a hobo shook me down for money on the street. He's my brother, who incidentally ran away from home over two years ago. FML

#19776561
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29053) - you deserved it (2151)

On 06/12/2012 at 12:59pm - money - by Sarah - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was operating on a young girl, when she began to awaken during the surgery. We quickly put her back under, of course, but now I'm terrified that she'll remember my profuse cursing and get me in the shit with my curmudgeonly killjoy of a boss. FML

#19727538
273 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18610) - you deserved it (9401)

On 06/03/2012 at 4:27pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, in a parking lot, a girl came up to our car and started to knock on the window and scream, "I KNEW IT!" My girlfriend doesn't believe that I don't know her. FML

#19726144
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26320) - you deserved it (1991)

On 06/03/2012 at 11:20am - misc - by Apissedoffguy - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, on Facebook, my sister posted a ton of photos of herself wearing a skimpy bikini, commenting that she looked hideous and fat. I can't stand attention-seeking fuckballs, so I called her on it. My mother then condemned me for "mocking" my sister, and grounded me for an entire month. FML

#19689652
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27447) - you deserved it (4806)

On 05/27/2012 at 5:53pm - misc - by namenlos (man) - Australia

Today, I had to collect my daughter from the hospital. Her boyfriend was even more upset than she was, because his iPhone's screen was damaged beyond repair when the doctor pulled it out of my daughter's vagina. FML

#19631928
472 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38440) - you deserved it (3081)

On 05/16/2012 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by smart move there (woman) - Ireland (Kildare)

Today, I was having dinner with my college friends to celebrate the end of our first year. I said really great things about them as individuals. The only thing they had to say to me was, "Thanks for being the token black friend." FML

#19624704
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21303) - you deserved it (2603)

On 05/14/2012 at 10:23pm - misc - by foreverbrown (man) - United States

Today, I found out that my husband is the biological father of my baby sister. FML

#19603084
408 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55185) - you deserved it (2954)

On 05/10/2012 at 4:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up to a really cold feeling down below. I opened my eyes and saw my girlfriend grinning like a maniac and holding my crotch-sausage between two scissor blades. I screamed in terror like a little bitch, and she says I'm never gonna live this down. FML

#19506149
426 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38701) - you deserved it (3515)

On 04/21/2012 at 1:38pm - intimacy - by Hakimstah (man) - Lebanon

Today, I got a one-inch fish bone stuck in my throat. I went to the doctor, who claimed he couldn't see the long white thing embedded next to my tonsil. He charged me $70, and told me to eat some bread. I had to pull it out myself with a pair of tweezers. FML

#19484025
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24135) - you deserved it (1553)

On 04/17/2012 at 1:37pm - health - by Merlin - United States (Connecticut)

Today, after several years of having her help me out by doing household chores, I bought my fifteen-year-old daughter a new pair of jeans. Her reaction was to squeal, "Master has presented Dobby with clothes. Dobby is free!" FML

#19463606
582 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11631) - you deserved it (51486) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 04/13/2012 at 10:06pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - France

Today, I found out that my partner thinks love is more meaningful than sex, so it's okay to stick his penis in someone else. FML

#19456455
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28127) - you deserved it (2506)

On 04/12/2012 at 4:42pm - intimacy - by Munkeh (woman) - United Kingdom (Birmingham)



FML's blog

  • Zoé's Illustrated FML
  • Hey there, young whippersnappers. Yes, you, the youth. I’m talking to you, sitting at home, scratching your asses. Why aren’t you doing something more constructive with your lives? Stop watching that shit…

Friday 18 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: