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spazzychild

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spazzychild
  • Town/Country : USA
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Tuesday 11 August 1998 (14 years)
  • Number of visits : 948
  • Number of comments : 8
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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spazzychild's favorite FMLs

Today, I was in a mall bathroom when two girls started making out in the stall next to me. Before I could leave, they got really into it and caused our shared wall to tear from its hinges and collapse on top of me. FML

#20067220
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23836) - you deserved it (1578)

On 09/11/2012 at 3:02am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was trying to pass a lady with a stroller, when she nearly fell. I used my ninja-like reflexes to catch her. Too bad my ninja-like reflexes didn't block the punch that she delivered to my fap-stick for apparently being a "pervert" for saving her. FML

Today, my mum found out she's pregnant. I would be happy for her, if she knew who the father was. FML

#20060753
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17992) - you deserved it (1091)

On 09/06/2012 at 6:21pm - health - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I'm quite ill. My new step-mother believes that the genetic wheat allergy I got from my mother would have gone away since she's now married to my father instead. Looks like dad picked a winner. FML

#20057050
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21025) - you deserved it (955)

On 09/04/2012 at 4:53am - misc - by hooligyn123 - United States

Today, I got a perm in an attempt to prove to my family that I'd been doing well with my life since I last saw them almost a year ago. I ended up going over for dinner looking like Bozo the Clown thanks to my idiot stylist, and my brothers wouldn't stop mocking me about it. FML

#20050563
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5435) - you deserved it (12219)

On 08/31/2012 at 3:57am - misc - by Bozo (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I received a call from my future sister in-law, telling me that she and her future husband had decided to hold their wedding ceremony on my birthday. I was told not to celebrate my birthday, as it would "take away the attention to the true meaning of the day." FML

Today, my son, who seems to think that he is a "gangsta" despite being a white boy from the suburbs, cried because I accidentally burned his grilled cheese. He's 28. FML

#20045566
199 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24362) - you deserved it (4963)

On 08/28/2012 at 12:29am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, after I requested a sick day, a very close co-worker texted her boyfriend that I'm a bitch for pretending to have the same rare illness that she recently suffered. She said it was unlikely, disrespectful and unfair that I didn't even look sick. I know this because she texted me instead. FML

#20037042
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17249) - you deserved it (1982)

On 08/23/2012 at 3:56am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, my pregnant wife broke down in tears over the fact that since moving to Brazil for my job, we don't have regular access to macaroni and cheese. FML

#20032360
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15816) - you deserved it (4161)

On 08/20/2012 at 6:06pm - health - by stupidbullcrêpe (man) - Brazil (Sao Paulo)

Today, I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy. Every time I make a date, my hateful mother slips laxatives into my food so I'm glued to the shitter until 2am. This is the fourth time. FML

#20031010
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26353) - you deserved it (2987)

On 08/19/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by Lauren - United States (Iowa)

Today, I had to bail on yet another date with an awesome guy. Every time I make a date, my hateful mother slips laxatives into my food so I'm glued to the shitter until 2am. This is the fourth time. FML

#20031010
224 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26353) - you deserved it (2987)

On 08/19/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by Lauren - United States (Iowa)

Today, as I was riding my bike, my foot slipped and I did a slow speed-tumble over the top, ripping my balls wide open. Number of stitches: too many to count. Size of balls: softball. Color: blue. FML

#20027548
251 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31225) - you deserved it (1493)

On 08/18/2012 at 1:15am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got a phone call out of the blue from a young man, who screamed that he was going to kill me for sleeping with his fiancée. I told him I am a 49-year-old man who hasn't been laid since my wife passed away, four years ago. He stammered, shouted, "Well she was a slut too" and hung up. FML

#20027025
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25424) - you deserved it (928)

On 08/17/2012 at 8:20pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, while I was taking my driver's test, my instructor received a text message. He promptly had a panic attack and screamed for me to pull over. It turned out his wife wanted a divorce. The last 15 minutes of my test consisted of him sobbing to himself as I drove back to the DMV. FML

#20024961
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20551) - you deserved it (1122)

On 08/16/2012 at 6:36pm - misc - by Samantha (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, it's my girlfriend's birthday. To celebrate, I spent the day with her and then took her out to a really nice dinner. She is currently giving me the silent treatment because I didn't write "happy birthday" on her Facebook wall. FML

#20009566
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28802) - you deserved it (424)

On 08/08/2012 at 1:15pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)



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