spazmattic

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spazmattic

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 14 February 1986 (30 years old)
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1132
  • Number of comments : 110
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About spazmattic : Just a guy

spazmattic's page activity

Visits<b>CassidyQueen98</b> - the 04/29/2015 at 4:27pm<b>WoodenBoy</b> - the 04/14/2015 at 7:08pm<b>Wontonfon</b> - the 03/23/2015 at 9:52pm<b>groovy579</b> - the 03/08/2015 at 2:54pm<b>Eyeslick</b> - the 10/14/2014 at 7:54am<b>BritSkits</b> - the 09/08/2014 at 8:11am<b>Ramanella</b> - the 07/28/2014 at 1:19am<b>DeadxTime</b> - the 08/20/2013 at 4:54pm<b>tarantaran</b> - the 08/05/2013 at 12:32am<b>sxe_beast</b> - the 07/26/2011 at 10:13pm<b>CaptainPickles72</b> - the 07/24/2011 at 2:07pm<b>Flamable</b> - the 06/18/2011 at 3:02pm<b>perdix</b> - the 06/06/2011 at 6:35pm<b>geeksaresexy</b> - the 05/19/2011 at 7:17am

spazmattic's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

spazmattic's favorite FMLs

Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML

by frankkathy / 07/26/2011 at 1:07pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I bumped into my ex-boyfriend I still love, and his new girlfriend, who he cheated on me with. Embarrassingly, she was wearing the same top as me. However hers was in size 6, unlike my 16. FML

by oouchh / 07/24/2011 at 8:22am / United Kingdom (Milton Keynes) / Love

Today, I went skinny dipping with my friends. A security man drove up the dock we were on with his bike. After informing us that the dock was closed, and noticing all of our swimsuits on the dock, he refused to move his flashlight beam from us in the water. FML

by Men '86 / 07/24/2011 at 2:41am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

by quickfingers100 / 07/22/2011 at 9:38am / United Kingdom / Intimacy

Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML

by oliverP123 / 07/22/2011 at 12:11am / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

by iwantmoney / 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm / United States (Ohio) / Money

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

by McKenna / 07/16/2011 at 12:10am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

by flipnazn / 07/15/2011 at 12:24am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML

by muffintop / 07/10/2011 at 10:34pm / Canada (Alberta) / Health

Today, my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. She's pregnant. I'm a virgin. FML

by Nick / 07/08/2011 at 1:19am / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, a riot broke out while I was on shift at the community swimming pool. A family snuck in soap so they could use the pool as a giant bath tub. FML

by Anonymous / 07/02/2011 at 3:46pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

by Anonymous / 06/26/2011 at 2:12am / United States (Indiana) / Transportation

Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML

by youknowwhatitis / 06/22/2011 at 9:31am / Australia (South Australia) / Health

Today, I found out my wife isn't cheating. She says she's just getting older and sex isn't important anymore. She's 27. FML

by wtf / 06/20/2011 at 3:43am / Canada (Alberta) / Intimacy

Today, I made the long drive to work, got out of the car, and realised that I'd forgotten to put shoes on before I left the house. FML

by Hannah / 06/17/2011 at 5:24pm / Ireland (Sligo) / Miscellaneous