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spazmattic

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spazmattic
  • Town/Country : United States
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Friday 14 February 1986 (28 years)
  • Number of visits : 683
  • Number of comments : 110
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About spazmattic : Just a guy

spazmattic's last visitors

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spazmattic's FML badges

How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/

spazmattic's favorite FMLs

Today, I saved a honey bee from drowning in our pool. It promptly stung me and died. FML

#17267677
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24319) - you deserved it (13631)

On 07/26/2011 at 1:07pm - misc - by frankkathy - United States (Texas)

Today, I bumped into my ex-boyfriend I still love, and his new girlfriend, who he cheated on me with. Embarrassingly, she was wearing the same top as me. However hers was in size 6, unlike my 16. FML

#17239646
436 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39584) - you deserved it (13103)

On 07/24/2011 at 8:22am - love - by oouchh (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I went skinny dipping with my friends. A security man drove up the dock we were on with his bike. After informing us that the dock was closed, and noticing all of our swimsuits on the dock, he refused to move his flashlight beam from us in the water. FML

#17237842
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12585) - you deserved it (31853)

On 07/24/2011 at 2:41am - misc - by Men '86 - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my girlfriend put a paper bag over my head while we had sex. Her reason? Because she thinks she is so good in bed she was worried I'd hyperventilate due to all the excitement. Instead I fainted due to lack of oxygen after three minutes. FML

#17215427
327 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34930) - you deserved it (9265)

On 07/22/2011 at 9:38am - intimacy - by quickfingers100 - United Kingdom

Today, I walked in on my mom and her friends comparing the differences in their nipples. FML

#17211099
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34708) - you deserved it (3601)

On 07/22/2011 at 12:11am - misc - by oliverP123 - United States (New York)

Today, after babysitting, the parents actually tried to pay me in Trident Layers Gum. FML

#17207993
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42543) - you deserved it (4545)

On 07/21/2011 at 8:20pm - money - by iwantmoney - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was sending my boyfriend dirty texts to try and turn him on so when I see him the next day he will want to get intimate. Twenty minutes later he texts back, "ew stop." FML

#17129735
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30396) - you deserved it (15311)

On 07/16/2011 at 12:10am - intimacy - by McKenna - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
467 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52782) - you deserved it (9114)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, I was standing at airport security. One of the bag inspectors asked me to remove my travel pouch, pointing to the lump under my shirt. I didn't know how to tell him that it was just one of my fat rolls. FML

#17058882
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28275) - you deserved it (11873)

On 07/10/2011 at 10:34pm - health - by muffintop (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for 3 years. She's pregnant. I'm a virgin. FML

#17023153
344 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45911) - you deserved it (8356)

On 07/08/2011 at 1:19am - love - by Nick (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, a riot broke out while I was on shift at the community swimming pool. A family snuck in soap so they could use the pool as a giant bath tub. FML

#16950296
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27955) - you deserved it (2141)

On 07/02/2011 at 3:46pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, on the bus, a delusional old man had an extremely long conversation with me, referring to me as "Leslie" and talking about "our childhood together". Not wanting to hurt his feelings I played along. At his stop he got up and grinned at me, saying "I'm kidding. I never knew a Leslie in my life. Nice rack." FML

#16860650
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37577) - you deserved it (15283)

On 06/26/2011 at 2:12am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Indiana)

Today, I learned how to wolf-whistle properly, and then learned what it feels like to be slapped on the head. FML

#16796718
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7487) - you deserved it (26214)

On 06/22/2011 at 9:31am - misc - by youknowwhatitis - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I found out my wife isn't cheating. She says she's just getting older and sex isn't important anymore. She's 27. FML

#16758586
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37248) - you deserved it (3526)

On 06/20/2011 at 3:43am - intimacy - by wtf - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I made the long drive to work, got out of the car, and realised that I'd forgotten to put shoes on before I left the house. FML

#16715265
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13334) - you deserved it (27671)

On 06/17/2011 at 5:24pm - misc - by Hannah - Ireland (Sligo)



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