sparklemuffin

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Offline (the 12/22/2014 at 11:15am)

sparklemuffin

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1047
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

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sparklemuffin's page activity

Visits<b>Scootythedog</b> - 18 hours ago<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 5:38pm<b>Paksenarrion</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 5:04pm<b>cupcakegirl0424</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 6:58pm<b>jasonm27</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 1:20am<b>DreadedSamurai</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 6:06pm<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 10:42pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 10:34pm<b>devildee101</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 5:34pm<b>facebag</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:01am<b>Oswin</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:13pm<b>pokerface71</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 8:03pm<b>baldby24</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 6:26am<b>tiggolbitties</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 7:48pm<b>SirKingCharlie</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 6:49am<b>closetrebel</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 1:52am<b>lucibellas</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 10:53pm<b>zidiko</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 2:01am

sparklemuffin's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

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sparklemuffin's favorite FMLs

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

by Lee / 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm / United States / Animals

Today, my 27 year old boyfriend chose playing with Lego over making sweet love to me. FML

by Anonymous / 03/28/2012 at 12:01pm / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML

by Laura / 03/20/2012 at 6:27pm / United Kingdom (South Ayrshire) / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned if you've slept with your soon to be step-brother you should tell your family. If you don't, he may blurt it out while drunk at a family barbecue. FML

by Anonymous / 12/24/2011 at 1:06am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy

Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML

by Anonymous / 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was eating noodles. Midway through chewing, I sneezed. The noodles got stuck in my nose. FML

by bob / 09/11/2011 at 11:15am / United States (New Mexico) / Health

Today, I had a completely normal work day. Other than the fact that my boss dressed up like the lead singer from KISS and hit us with a foam sword at random. My boss is 49. FML

by Bill Harrison / 07/19/2011 at 11:19am / United States / Work

Today, I woke up face-down in my grandfather's driveway, soaking wet with no pants, glitter in my hair, and holding an empty Skippy peanut butter jar. No one will tell me what happened. FML

by Devon / 05/19/2011 at 9:38pm / United States (Vermont) / Miscellaneous

Today, I cycled 30 minutes through hail and rain to get my pregnant girlfriend the crisps she was craving. When I made it back, she didn't want them anymore. FML

by Anonymous / 02/27/2011 at 12:41pm / Ireland / Love

Today, I came home from a long day at work to find a path of rose pedals from the front door. Gasping with surprise, I followed it past the living room... past the bedroom... into the kitchen, where there was a note that said "Friends coming over tonight, we need food, love you!" FML

by Romantic / 01/15/2010 at 3:33am / United States (Florida) / Love

Today, I was talking and joking with my boyfriend. He said "Hey wanna hear a joke?" I said "Yes." He said, "Our relationship." and walked away. He seriously dumped me through a one-liner. FML

by screwwyou / 09/27/2009 at 9:16pm / United States (Michigan) / Love

Today, I was walking with my very attractive friend who I like a lot. She then told me that her roomate wouldn't be home tonight, and if I wanted, I could come over and study history. I didn't get it. I told her no thanks, that I was covered, and it was chem I needed to study. An hour later, I understood. FML

by itisthedude / 09/10/2009 at 7:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Love

Today, my five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Be who you want to be, B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turned to me and said "Mom, I want to be a hooker." FML

by ....... / 06/23/2009 at 1:56pm / United States (Colorado) / Kids

Today, I woke up to my wife talking in her sleep, "No Brandon! I don't want to have sex!" My wife won't have sex with me when she's awake OR in her dreams. FML

by BW / 06/07/2009 at 5:49pm / United States (Kentucky) / Intimacy

Today, I went to the store to buy groceries. I didn't care how I looked, so I wore an old shirt that said, "Thousands of my potential children died on your daughter's face last night." I ran into my girlfriend's parents at the store. FML

by helloitsbrian6969 / 05/24/2009 at 3:50pm / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous