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Mobility
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Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29881) - you deserved it (2654)
On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31444) - you deserved it (3271)
On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -
Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20652) - you deserved it (2246)
On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)
Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20868) - you deserved it (2059)
On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9032) - you deserved it (25175)
On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)
Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (6952) - you deserved it (16750)
On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15525) - you deserved it (8249)
On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14798) - you deserved it (6241)
On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML
I agree, your life sucks (23623) - you deserved it (1288)
On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)
Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10989) - you deserved it (37138) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)
Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15015) - you deserved it (1705)
On 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm - animals - by Lee (woman) - United States
Today, my 27 year old boyfriend chose playing with Lego over making sweet love to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16601) - you deserved it (7485)
On 03/28/2012 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)
Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22559) - you deserved it (2301)
On 03/20/2012 at 6:27pm - misc - by Laura - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)
Today, I learned if you've slept with your soon to be step-brother you should tell your family. If you don't, he may blurt it out while drunk at a family barbecue. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12304) - you deserved it (28055)
On 12/24/2011 at 1:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)
Today, I wore my brand new Wonderbra to school. When I got home, my dad looked at me and started laughing hysterically. Between breaths, he asked if anyone actually thought my chest was that big and said "You know why it's called a Wonderbra? Guys take it off and wonder where your tits went." FML
I agree, your life sucks (28651) - you deserved it (18156)
On 10/10/2011 at 6:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Wednesday 15 May 2013
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