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sparklemuffin

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sparklemuffin

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 626
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

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sparklemuffin's page activity

Visits<b>devildee101</b> - yesterday at 5:34pm<b>facebag</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:01am<b>Oswin</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:13pm<b>pokerface71</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 8:03pm<b>baldby24</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 6:26am<b>tiggolbitties</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 7:48pm<b>SirKingCharlie</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 6:49am<b>closetrebel</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 1:52am<b>lucibellas</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 10:53pm<b>zidiko</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 2:01am<b>byattwain</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 11:18pm<b>chadwj</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 8:44am<b>anonimeeeee</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 9:08am<b>Offspring</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 1:15am<b>burmillababe</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 5:15pm<b>DKjazz</b> - the 05/03/2012 at 1:59am<b>Chingy892987</b> - the 04/30/2012 at 8:22am<b>channypie</b> - the 04/30/2012 at 1:06am

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

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sparklemuffin's favorite FMLs

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41337) - you deserved it (3762)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones got so bad that she freaked out and threw a tantrum, accusing me of always making important decisions for her. All I did was get her some food from Taco Bell as a surprise. FML

#20912485
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54597) - you deserved it (5090)

On 10/08/2013 at 1:57pm - intimacy - by hubby - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

#20423881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40509) - you deserved it (4807)

On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

#20408486
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36962) - you deserved it (4263)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

#20189453
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30679) - you deserved it (3790)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26790) - you deserved it (2918)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13317) - you deserved it (31493)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

#20167475
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9723) - you deserved it (26039)

On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21894) - you deserved it (12237)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

#20060710
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20301) - you deserved it (8712)

On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30543) - you deserved it (1915)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14196) - you deserved it (51219) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)

Today, I decided to pull some weeds in my backyard. Everything was going great until I got a concussion. My dog thought that it would be fun to headbutt me from a running start. Twice. FML

#19440536
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20522) - you deserved it (2427)

On 04/09/2012 at 11:50pm - animals - by Lee (woman) - United States

Today, my 27 year old boyfriend chose playing with Lego over making sweet love to me. FML

#19363269
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23162) - you deserved it (10312)

On 03/28/2012 at 12:01pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I was at a concert and a man came up behind and started to grind me. I pushed him away. He came back and pissed on my leg. FML

#19315463
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28075) - you deserved it (3207)

On 03/20/2012 at 6:27pm - misc - by Laura - United Kingdom (South Ayrshire)



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