Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sparklemuffin

Offline (19 hours ago) | Search for a member

sparklemuffin

0Liked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 661
  • Number of comments : 36
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

This member hasn't filled in the description.

sparklemuffin's page activity

Visits<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 10:42pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 10:34pm<b>devildee101</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 5:34pm<b>facebag</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:01am<b>Oswin</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:13pm<b>pokerface71</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 8:03pm<b>baldby24</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 6:26am<b>tiggolbitties</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 7:48pm<b>SirKingCharlie</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 6:49am<b>closetrebel</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 1:52am<b>lucibellas</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 10:53pm<b>zidiko</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 2:01am<b>byattwain</b> - the 09/24/2013 at 11:18pm<b>chadwj</b> - the 09/09/2013 at 8:44am<b>anonimeeeee</b> - the 06/29/2013 at 9:08am<b>Offspring</b> - the 05/26/2013 at 1:15am<b>burmillababe</b> - the 03/18/2013 at 5:15pm<b>DKjazz</b> - the 05/03/2012 at 1:59am

sparklemuffin's FML badges

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

Mobility

You are connected to FML via the mobile site or an app. How modern.

I moderated this!

In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

See all of sparklemuffin's badges

sparklemuffin's favorite FMLs

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

#21279204
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33537) - you deserved it (3409)

On 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

#20952990
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41371) - you deserved it (3763)

On 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones got so bad that she freaked out and threw a tantrum, accusing me of always making important decisions for her. All I did was get her some food from Taco Bell as a surprise. FML

#20912485
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54660) - you deserved it (5093)

On 10/08/2013 at 1:57pm - intimacy - by hubby - United States

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

#20423881
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40557) - you deserved it (4813)

On 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm - intimacy - by geewhy (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

#20408486
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37005) - you deserved it (4267)

On 12/20/2012 at 3:16am - misc - by dudeyouarefired -

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

#20189453
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30724) - you deserved it (3793)

On 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

#20184714
204 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26834) - you deserved it (2920)

On 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm - misc - by childhoodupinsmoke (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

#20170605
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13345) - you deserved it (31537)

On 11/20/2012 at 3:43am - intimacy - by kinkicali (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

#20167475
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9737) - you deserved it (26063)

On 11/18/2012 at 12:05am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

#20081762
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21933) - you deserved it (12253)

On 09/21/2012 at 3:31am - misc - by RawrSparkle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

#20060710
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20330) - you deserved it (8716)

On 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm - love - by WaxOnWaxOff - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

#19572319
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30581) - you deserved it (1916)

On 05/04/2012 at 8:08am - work - by viviham - United States (Texas)

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

#19561833
329 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14215) - you deserved it (51274) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 05/02/2012 at 1:06am - love - by Flip (woman) - France (Rhone-Alpes)



FML's blog

  • Krumla's Illustrated FML
  • It's Friday, so a bold font is required. I was sitting in my caravan by the side of busy road cooking cocktail sausages over a gas stove when I realised it was time to start writing something about this…

Friday 24 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: