sparklemuffin

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Offline (the 12/22/2014 at 11:15am)

sparklemuffin

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not so sure
  • Number of visits : 1092
  • Number of comments : 37
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

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sparklemuffin's page activity

Visits<b>Scootythedog</b> - the 05/29/2016 at 7:07pm<b>senor_octubre</b> - the 01/15/2016 at 5:38pm<b>Paksenarrion</b> - the 08/28/2015 at 5:04pm<b>cupcakegirl0424</b> - the 08/05/2015 at 6:58pm<b>jasonm27</b> - the 05/27/2015 at 1:20am<b>DreadedSamurai</b> - the 03/07/2015 at 6:06pm<b>Gwen4var</b> - the 10/08/2014 at 10:42pm<b>Mindset</b> - the 09/23/2014 at 10:34pm<b>devildee101</b> - the 09/19/2014 at 5:34pm<b>facebag</b> - the 08/08/2014 at 1:01am<b>Oswin</b> - the 07/07/2014 at 3:13pm<b>pokerface71</b> - the 06/14/2014 at 8:03pm<b>baldby24</b> - the 06/02/2014 at 6:26am<b>tiggolbitties</b> - the 05/10/2014 at 7:48pm<b>SirKingCharlie</b> - the 02/24/2014 at 6:49am<b>closetrebel</b> - the 02/13/2014 at 1:52am<b>lucibellas</b> - the 01/07/2014 at 10:53pm<b>zidiko</b> - the 09/28/2013 at 2:01am

sparklemuffin's FML badges

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

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sparklemuffin's favorite FMLs

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, I walked into my house and saw it was flooded. I went upstairs to the bathroom to see the toilet overflowing and my boyfriend holding my dog over it so he could drink it. My boyfriend said he didn't know what else to do. FML

by anonymous / 10/16/2014 at 4:53pm / United States (Michigan) / Miscellaneous

Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML

by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love

Today, as always, my boyfriend has the ability to pop his eyeballs out of his eye sockets. He thought it'd be funny for me to wake up face-to-face with the disgusting sight. The shit in my bowels did an early Thanksgiving Day parade straight into my underwear. FML

by Anonymous / 11/10/2013 at 6:27pm / United States (Kentucky) / Miscellaneous

Today, my wife's pregnancy hormones got so bad that she freaked out and threw a tantrum, accusing me of always making important decisions for her. All I did was get her some food from Taco Bell as a surprise. FML

by hubby / 10/08/2013 at 1:57pm / United States / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend discovered that if he flicks my clitoris just right, my legs both twitch spastically regardless of arousal level. He thinks it's hilarious and can no longer take sex seriously. FML

by geewhy / 12/26/2012 at 4:20pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Intimacy

Today, the highly intoxicated singer of my band decided it would be a wonderful idea to squat down and take a shit on stage in the middle of a gig. FML

by dudeyouarefired / 12/20/2012 at 3:16am / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend discovered how to make me queef on demand when he has his fingers inside me. I now feel like my love life has been replaced with fart sounds. FML

by Anonymous / 12/03/2012 at 1:39pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Intimacy

Today, I realized that the comforting, unique scent of my mother in my childhood was actually the smell of the marijuana she smokes. FML

by childhoodupinsmoke / 11/29/2012 at 10:35pm / United States (Texas) / Miscellaneous

Today, trying to be kinky while giving my boyfriend a blow job, I whipped him with my ponytail. He was thrilled, until I accidentally head-butted his dick. He curled up into a ball and wouldn't let me touch him again. FML

by kinkicali / 11/20/2012 at 3:43am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, I put on a shirt that said "skilled in every position." My boyfriend took one look and said, "since when?" FML

by Anonymous / 11/18/2012 at 12:05am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Love

Today, I dropped a whole batch of penis-shaped cookies on the floor. Then I thought, "5-second rule" and started eating them. And then I realized that I was home alone, in pajamas, eating broken dick-cookies off the floor. FML

by RawrSparkle / 09/21/2012 at 3:31am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that my boyfriend really does have a problem with my upper-lip hair. I woke up this morning to him ripping a wax strip off of my face. All he could say after I stopped shrieking was that he had hoped it wouldn't wake me up. FML

by WaxOnWaxOff / 09/06/2012 at 5:50pm / United States (Colorado) / Love

Today, I was working at the local liquor store. An obviously drunk girl stumbles in, grabs two cases of beer and puts them on the counter. Then she grabs a pregnancy test, pees on it right there, shows me, and says, "I'm not pregnant, I want beer." FML

by viviham / 05/04/2012 at 8:08am / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, to avoid looking like a loser in front of his friends who all have girlfriends, my brother made up a perfect relationship. He asked me to give him a hickey in exchange for 50 euros. Our parents walked in on us. FML

by Flip / 05/02/2012 at 1:06am / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Love