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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I sent a picture to my girlfriend of my erect penis with a quote saying "It's waiting for you." She responded with a picture of her left hand showing her left ring finger with a quote saying "It's waiting for you too." FML
I agree, your life sucks (8785) - you deserved it (60926)
On 12/07/2010 at 1:32pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, I woke up with a hangover, a shaved head, and my period. FML
I agree, your life sucks (25722) - you deserved it (15279)
On 11/25/2010 at 12:54pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, my grandma walked into my room and asked if the thing lying on my nightstand was a computer. I said ''Grandma, that's a clock.'' After staring at me, confused for a few seconds, she then farted, and left my room. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27198) - you deserved it (4152)
On 11/23/2010 at 12:35pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I went to a party dressed as a Pinata. Drunk people tried to hit me all night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5859) - you deserved it (35997)
On 11/01/2010 at 3:34am - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (London)
Today, I attended a musical. A new song was played, and I thought I'd heard it before because it sounded strangely familiar. I sang along quietly as the song progressed, positive I knew it. Anticipating the next chorus, I belted out the lyrics with all my heart. It was instrumental. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6442) - you deserved it (29995)
On 10/11/2010 at 6:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19217) - you deserved it (3194)
On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States
Today, I found out I was pregnant. I told my boyfriend, who held me and promised it'd be all right, and he'd never leave me. One sandwich later, he'd forgotten about the whole thing, and dumped me when I reminded him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (28386) - you deserved it (3853)
On 10/06/2010 at 3:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, there were a few loud and annoying kids running around my store. My coworker and I started talking and I jokingly stated "Yeah, kids ruin everything." But before I could get out "God knows I'm not ready to be a dad," my phone rang. It was my one night stand. I'm going to be a daddy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9239) - you deserved it (48889)
On 09/24/2010 at 7:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was getting picked up by my dad after I had been swimming. I saw his car, so I walked over to it, got in and started talking about how I'd seen my brother. It wasn't until after I had put my seat belt on that I realized I was talking to a complete stranger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13107) - you deserved it (16487)
On 09/18/2010 at 10:41am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Monmouthshire)
Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (21749) - you deserved it (1689)
On 09/18/2010 at 2:31am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, it was my birthday. But instead of a decent surprise, my friends decided to smash a cake on my face and unhook my dress, while taking a video of it. In a public shopping mall. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22188) - you deserved it (2022)
On 09/08/2010 at 3:35am - misc - by Nothingonyou - Sent from mobile version
Today, I got woken up by Hallelujah blasting outside my apartment windows for 30 minutes straight. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15838) - you deserved it (2458)
On 08/20/2010 at 12:06am - misc - by notyoueallie (woman) - United States (Florida)
Today, I found out my little sister was a stripper. At the same time, she found out that when I said I was having a "quiet birthday with some friends," what I really meant was "hiring a stripper to jump out of a cake." FML
I agree, your life sucks (40160) - you deserved it (6022)
On 01/18/2010 at 3:26pm - misc - by Jon (man) - United States (Oregon)
Today, it's my birthday. I have gotten three calls all day. The first one was my fiancée, saying he wanted his ring back. The second one was my best friend, confessing to me that she had been sleeping with my fiancée for the past three months. The third was the dentist's office singing me a happy birthday. FML
I agree, your life sucks (218305) - you deserved it (8538)
On 05/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I met a really cute guy at work. He asked for my number, and I wrote it down on a piece of paper. After looking at the paper, he crumpled it up, yelled "Do you think I'm stupid? I know the rejection hotline when I see it", and walked away. It was my real phone number. FML
I agree, your life sucks (53573) - you deserved it (2343)
On 04/24/2009 at 4:18am - love - by sad (woman) - United States (Virginia)
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