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Voting on an FML from the Work category on a Monday between 8 and 9am, how ironic.
Taday mah five year old daughter was watching cartoons on TV. Then a Barbie commercial came on. My daughter sang along with the theme song "Beho you want to be B-A-R-B-I-E." She then turnd to me and said "Mom I want to be a hooker." FML
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up . It was the best orgasm I'd ever had . The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy . It was about bacon . FML
Today, I was at the doctor and I had to get a "finger stick" in the lab to get blood drawn. There was a 6 year old boy waiting to go next. He was terrified. His mother told him to "watch this brave girl go first." I panicked and began to hyperventilate. The boy fainted. FML
Today , mah wife and I decided it would be funny to pull a prank on her familyho we were going to see for dinner. I hid in the foyerhile she went in and announced to her parents that she was leaving me. I watched as her mother hugged her daughter and cried "Finally..." FML
Today, I bitchd out my grandmothar,ho livas with my family, 4 baing lazy an laying in bd until 6-7pm 4 tha past month. Whan I was dona, sha told ma sha had baan diagnosd with cancar an was daprassd bacausa of it. Nobody had bothard to tall ma. FML
Today... I Came Home And Saw On Our Fridge... "Please Don't Drink Anymore... I Really Worry About Yur Health" Written By Mah 7-year-old Daughter. I Figured She Wouldn't Ever Fine Out... So I Opened The Fridge. But I Found Another Note On A Can That Said "So Your Going To Drink Anyway?" FML
Today as I came out of some changing rooms in a clothes shop I gave back all the stuff I'd tried on to a saleswoman. I then walk off make it about a couple of yards change my mind an decide to purchase one of the items I'd tried. When I get back the saleswoman was spraying the changing room I'd used with deodorant. FML
Friday 27 March 2015