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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14964) - you deserved it (48272)
On 04/06/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was walking out of a Starbucks and saw someone walking out behind me, thinking it would be the nice thing to do I held the door open. I was holding the door for about 30 seconds before realizing I was holding the door for my own shadow. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14964) - you deserved it (48272)
On 04/06/2009 at 12:14am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)
Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58455) - you deserved it (40991)
On 03/16/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whatdoyoudo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, I passed by a small shop and decided to go in to look at the jeans. Before I could even step in, the shop owner told me expressionlessly, "All the sizes here are too small for you". FML
I agree, your life sucks (48077) - you deserved it (6049)
On 03/05/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Brrrb (woman) - Singapore
Today, I was in spanish class, having a debate about the death penalty. When I went to make a point, I meant to say "La pena de muerte", which means "The death penalty". I said, "La pene de muerte". Turns out that means, "The penis of death". FML
I agree, your life sucks (21742) - you deserved it (35721)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:42pm - misc - by Señor Guapo (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I slipped on the ice in front of my apartment, spraining my ankle and cracking a rib. While I laid on the ground immediately after, my neighbor chewed me out for saying "shit" in front of her 4-year-old on my way down. FML
I agree, your life sucks (51630) - you deserved it (2276)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:03pm - misc - by stupidneighbor (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I had sex with my girlfriend. Being the stud that I am, after a short time I turned to her and said "You think you're ready for a round two?" She replied "No, but I do think I'm ready for the rest of round one." FML
I agree, your life sucks (18245) - you deserved it (85157)
On 03/04/2009 at 2:03am - intimacy - by saddude (man) - United States (District of Columbia)
Today, my wife told me that she wanted a divorce. It is also my 39th birthday today. For my birthday present, she gave me a subscription to match.com. FML
I agree, your life sucks (108429) - you deserved it (4838)
On 03/04/2009 at 12:15am - love - by you would (man) - United States (California)
Today, I told my friend I hadn't had a period in 5 months. She asked me if I was pregnant. When I asked her if I looked 5 months pregant, she replied by saying "is that supposed to be a trick question?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (38526) - you deserved it (13388)
On 03/03/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by booyouwhoree (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I woke up at my boyfriend's place with grumbling stomach pains. I left him in bed to go have explosive diarreah in the bathroom next to his room. When I was done, I came back to bed and snuggled in next to his sleeping form and he rolled over to whisper, "I heard everthing." FML
I agree, your life sucks (65609) - you deserved it (14295)
On 03/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by ohmygoodness (woman) - United States (Ohio)
Monday 17 June 2013
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