About songofthedead : How would you like to suck mah balls?
Socialite
You’ve used FML’s private messaging service for the first time. Will they reply? Wait and see…
Happy Ending
Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”
Checking you out
You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.
Today, while I was waiting at a red light, another car slammed into me. By the time I got out to assess the damage, the other car was empty and there was nobody in sight. Either Moby Dickwad was abducted by aliens mid-crash, or he was behind on his insurance payments. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17364) - you deserved it (1077)
On 06/24/2012 at 4:51pm - misc - by Boar - United States (New Mexico)
Today, while I was driving home, some jackass in an open-top sports car overtook us and flipped me off. Just as I overtook him in turn, my wife rolled down her window, pulled out her tampon, and launched it at the kid. I'm not sure who was more horrified: me or him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29623) - you deserved it (2884)
Today, I saw Thor and I wanted to see how realistic it was to be swinging a hammer around. Wrong idea. I ended up unconscious on the ground for ten whole minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3686) - you deserved it (25256)
On 06/08/2012 at 4:09am - misc - by runner2731 - United States (Ohio)
Today, my husband went nuts. He's quit his job and set out building an amateur bomb shelter in our backyard. According to him, there's "substantial evidence" that cannibalism is on the rise across the country, and that "it's gonna be like Resident Evil out there, babe." FML
I agree, your life sucks (22290) - you deserved it (2298)
On 06/05/2012 at 1:21pm - love - by why... (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I walked in on my roommate trying to smoke a Mars bar. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13877) - you deserved it (1490)
On 06/05/2012 at 5:03am - misc - by holyshart - United States
Today, my 24-year-old brother tried to convince me that Hogwarts is real, because there is no way a person could have written that based on imagination. My parents agreed with him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20334) - you deserved it (2884)
On 06/04/2012 at 3:19am - kids - by nanall - United States
Today, my boyfriend picked me up to take me on a date. Just as we were about to drive away, my dad ran out of the house in his underwear and started yelling that he'd kill my boyfriend if I wasn't back home within the hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17625) - you deserved it (1469)
On 06/03/2012 at 12:13pm - love - by mothtal (woman) - Bulgaria
Today, I went to the hospital for stomach pains, and was told that it sounds like I have an ovarian cyst. My mom went into a rage, screaming that I'd lied to her about being a virgin. Despite the doctor explaining that sexual activity has nothing to do with it, she refuses to believe him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24612) - you deserved it (1039)
On 06/01/2012 at 5:05pm - health - by Briscuit (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, I couldn't find my hairbrush anywhere; I ended up having to brush my hair with a fork. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14265) - you deserved it (4639)
On 05/31/2012 at 9:14pm - misc - by jemila (woman) - United States
Today, after I spent nearly three hours building an igloo, my dog decided it would be a nice to enter it and take a shit. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19378) - you deserved it (3125)
On 02/09/2012 at 1:37am - animals - by A (woman) - United States
Today, I jokingly mocked my dad about his age. He jokingly poured milk all over my head. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9005) - you deserved it (21829)
On 01/05/2012 at 1:58am - misc - by Kyle - United States
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24464) - you deserved it (8450)
On 04/02/2010 at 8:31pm - animals - by BigBangrocksthenight (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, I found out my boyfriend stacks things on me while I sleep. Apparently his record is 4 pillows, a textbook, and the cat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (78733) - you deserved it (18476)
On 08/06/2009 at 7:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)
Today, I bought a new mailbox to replace the old one that was stolen. Two hours after I put the new mailbox up, the old one was back and the new one was missing. FML
I agree, your life sucks (49597) - you deserved it (2308)
On 06/20/2009 at 2:01am - misc - by Dumbass - United States (Florida)
Today, I had a very intense sexual dream that made me come and left me panting when I woke up. It was the best orgasm I'd ever had. The trouble was, it wasn't about a hot girl, or anything sexy. It was about bacon. FML
I agree, your life sucks (142306) - you deserved it (32746)
On 05/17/2009 at 8:33am - intimacy - by wtfdreams (man) - United States (California)
Monday 17 June 2013
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