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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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someotherbitch

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someotherbitch
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 3541
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

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someotherbitch's favorite FMLs

Today, I was really upset after work, and tearily asked my boyfriend to bring something over to cheer me up when he visited later. An hour or so later he arrived, having bought me a brand new large purple dildo to "brighten my mood". FML

#4103761 (227)

I agree, your life sucks (33699) - you deserved it (12536)

On 07/28/2009 at 9:34am - intimacy - by BigPurplePresent (woman) - South Africa (Western Cape)

Today, I had a check-up with my dermatologist. When I took off my pants, she noticed a small mark on my penis and was concerned. I had to inform her that it was not in fact a mole, but a bruise from getting it stuck in a Snapple bottle two days prior to the check-up. FML

#3686221 (181)

I agree, your life sucks (6829) - you deserved it (52116)

On 07/12/2009 at 3:07am - health - by Best-stuf-on-Earth (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a date, and everything was going fine- until the ride home. On the way, I starting having progressively bad stomach pains. Once she left the car, I passed the worst gas that I had ever encountered. As I began to drive, she knocked on the window. She forgot her purse in the car. FML

#3656488 (66)

I agree, your life sucks (31885) - you deserved it (3601)

On 07/11/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my cousin told me that the stop signs outlined with a white line were optional. Later, a cop pulled me over, when I asked why he said, "You ran that stop sign back there." I explained what my cousin had told me and he looked at me funny and replied, "All stop signs have a white outline." FML

#3593613 (260)

I agree, your life sucks (7674) - you deserved it (70327)

On 07/08/2009 at 9:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I came home and found out that my new roommate, who smokes half a pack of cigarettes a day and drinks heavily 5 nights a week, had smashed my $300 bong because "weed is a horrible and deadly drug that will kill you slowly." FML

#3521294 (501)

I agree, your life sucks (44952) - you deserved it (23927)

On 07/06/2009 at 1:55am - misc - by expen_dable (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was completely wasted at my bachelor party, and my friends thought it would be funny to put sodium nitrate on my penis. Sodium nitrate makes your skin dark purple for a couple of weeks. My wedding is next week and my fiancee has never seen me naked. FML

#3418907 (333)

I agree, your life sucks (54656) - you deserved it (13825)

On 07/02/2009 at 2:32am - intimacy - by purpledick (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I called my Dad to wish him happy birthday. The phone was disconnected, so I called my sister to see what his cell was. She then informed me that our Dad was in jail for selling shrooms to teenagers at a music festival out of state. FML

#3332242 (128)

I agree, your life sucks (41503) - you deserved it (1925)

On 06/29/2009 at 3:29am - misc - by shroomda (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my car was in the shop so I borrowed my wife's VW Beetle convertible. It's really embarrassing because it's a girlie car and it's full of little stuffed animals. At a stop light a man asked me if I'd like to borrow one of his testicles because "every man should have at least one." FML

#2812014 (269)

I agree, your life sucks (73323) - you deserved it (13616)

On 06/11/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by NoBalls (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, my left-handed boss needed PC help. I said "right-click for the menu." She said nothing happened. Three times we went through this. Eventually I went over, asking her to show me what she did. She was using her right hand on the left mouse button. She earns $10,000 more than me. FML

#2798980 (165)

I agree, your life sucks (50075) - you deserved it (2040)

On 06/11/2009 at 11:21am - work - by girlfriday (woman) - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I got 20% tints on my car. As I'm driving home, a cop pulls me over. I didn't want to ruin my new tint by opening my window, so I opened my door as the cop approached. He then pulled out his gun and yelled "GET ON THE FUCKING GROUND!" before I could explain. FML

#952639 (241)

I agree, your life sucks (31959) - you deserved it (40168)

On 04/13/2009 at 3:41pm - misc - by italy1986 (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went to see my gynecologist. She was writing my symptoms up in my chart on her computer. After a little while, I noticed that she had a confused look on her face and was reading something instead. When I took a peek at the computer screen, I saw that she was Googling my symptoms. FML

#792519 (116)

I agree, your life sucks (73798) - you deserved it (2382)

On 04/03/2009 at 11:10pm - health - by blehhh (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I got a call from the hospital that my fiance was in the ER. When I arrived at the hospital they told me that he had a heart attack while making love. FML

#469613 (244)

I agree, your life sucks (208748) - you deserved it (7655)

On 03/19/2009 at 4:45pm - intimacy - by jmoney (woman) - United States

Today, my mother and I got into a huge fight about me being a lesbian. It ended with me saying "Fuck you!" to which she responded: "I bet you'd probably like to." FML

#21834 (211)

I agree, your life sucks (60297) - you deserved it (17695)

On 02/10/2009 at 7:08pm - misc - by peacock_mina19 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got a ticket. From my dad the cop. FML

#19088 (50)

I agree, your life sucks (30010) - you deserved it (9777)

On 02/09/2009 at 10:59pm - misc - by annoyed (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I woke up to my car covered in shaving cream and tampons and the word CHEATER written on my windshield in lipstick. The guy a few doors down from me in my dorm has the same car as me. I'm a virgin. FML

#10643 (38)

I agree, your life sucks (33324) - you deserved it (1275)

On 02/05/2009 at 5:34pm - misc - by CB4 (man) - United States (Indiana)