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soldiat

Offline (the 07/16/2015 at 5:35am) | Search for a member

soldiat

0Fucked!

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  • Number of visits : 1687
  • Number of comments : 122
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About soldiat : Not much.

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Happy Ending

Brandon may have an FML, but he ended up marrying Jessica. You found this out by reading “FML, the follow up.”

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In "Moderate the FMLs", you voted Yes on a story that was subsequently published. Well done!

100 kick ass comments

100 of your comments are neither buried or moderated. Popular is your middle name!

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soldiat's favorite FMLs

Today, my teenage son taught my five-year-old daughter how to fake her own death. I walked into the kitchen today to find her lying still on the floor, covered in ketchup. She laughed when I began to scream. FML

#20460540
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41089) - you deserved it (4279)

On 01/15/2013 at 9:41am - kids - by Nightmare (woman) -

Today, I went out for dinner with my long-term crush, who turned out to be a huge dog person. He asked me which dog breed I like the most. In an attempt to reply with both Labrador and Doberman, I accidentally said Dumbledore. FML

#20451560
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32295) - you deserved it (9006)

On 01/10/2013 at 7:20am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Slovakia

Today, my husband came home with a bunch of realistic-looking wigs for women. When I asked them what they were for, he said he wanted to spice up our sex life with them. When I told him I refused to wear a wig, he said in a very serious tone that I wasn't going to be the one wearing them, he was. FML

#20438198
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40659) - you deserved it (6255)

On 01/02/2013 at 5:34am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, as her parents were supposed to be out of town, I stayed over with my girlfriend, and we ended up in bed together. Later on, while poking through the fridge, I heard footsteps, so I said, "Didn't think you'd be walking after that." I closed the fridge and saw her dad. FML

#20418714
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46063) - you deserved it (25288)

On 12/24/2012 at 1:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

#20186141
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6381) - you deserved it (37062)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

#20186141
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6381) - you deserved it (37062)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)

Today, I followed my neighbor's advice and sprayed Sprite on my Christmas tree because it will "make it live longer." I just came downstairs to find my Christmas tree covered in ants. FML

#20186141
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6381) - you deserved it (37062)

On 12/01/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Chuffy - United States (Colorado)

Today, just like every morning this month, I woke up, put on my clothes, looked out my window, and was pointed at by a man in a ninja outfit on my neighbor's roof. The police still can't find him. FML

#20155776
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29696) - you deserved it (2443)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:54pm - misc - by Targeted - United States (Washington)

Today, I started dating a seemingly normal guy. Not even four hours into our relationship, he began telling me that he can see spirits, dead people, and that I have a large black dog following me everywhere I go. FML

#20155774
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24084) - you deserved it (2757)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:53pm - love - by holyshitbatman - United States (Ohio)

Today, my crazy bitch of a boss fired me for inappropriate conduct. Apparently my "fake Nazi accent" is "offensive to our Jewish coworkers." I'm German. I have no way to change the way I speak, or to pay this month's bills. FML

#20155705
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32448) - you deserved it (1738)

On 11/08/2012 at 11:02pm - work - by Screwed - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was taking a pizza order at work, and had to ask the customer's name. I couldn't quite hear what he said, so rather than asking him to repeat himself, I asked how it was spelled. He gave me a funny look and said, "Um, A.J.?" FML

Today, I bought my nephew some giant green Incredible Hulk fists for his birthday. He thanked me by Hulk-smashing me in the nuts. FML

#20086472
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20924) - you deserved it (5829)

On 09/24/2012 at 10:33am - kids - by smashed (man) - United States

Today, I was watching some pretty intense porn on my Macbook. I unplugged the second monitor so I could lie on my bed. Instead of defaulting to the screen, Airplay somehow synced it to the living room TV, where the rest of my family was watching a movie. FML

#20052962
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20563) - you deserved it (49094)

On 09/01/2012 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by WhyAppleWhy (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend got a new tattoo. It was a big tattoo of Pikachu on his hip. I told him now I'd feel like I was having sex with an 8-year-old boy. His defense? "No, no, think of it as having sex with Pikachu!" He still refuses to understand why that's weird. FML

#20050023
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26567) - you deserved it (5156)

On 08/30/2012 at 9:08pm - intimacy - by Kat (woman) - United States (Rhode Island)



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