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Today, my friends and I went to the strip club for my birthday. I now know how my sister is paying for her new car. FML
I agree, your life sucks (45959) - you deserved it (5587)
On 07/23/2011 at 8:09pm - misc - by assante2010 - United States (Maine)
Today, I awoke to make-up all over my face and nail polish on my hands and feet because my daughter wanted "daddy to look pretty." I have a job interview in an hour and none of it is coming off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (31137) - you deserved it (3749)
On 04/27/2011 at 3:16pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I found out that my boyfriend cheated on me with my best friend. I texted her and I would never talk to her again. But I accidentally sent it to my other best friend, who responded, "I'm so sorry, I never meant for you to find out". My two best friends cheated with my boyfriend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (47874) - you deserved it (3376)
On 02/12/2011 at 12:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I received a call from child care. Apparently, my four year-old boy tried to start a mosh pit during naptime. FML
I agree, your life sucks (29643) - you deserved it (8010)
On 12/22/2010 at 6:43am - kids - by lerouxmaster -
Today, I went shopping with my new "It's true, I'm a Ninja" shirt on. Suddenly an apple comes and hits me right in the eye. A little boy runs up to me, yells "You aren't a Ninja! A Ninja would have caught that!", and runs off. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16469) - you deserved it (46604)
On 11/07/2010 at 8:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, my dad borrowed my new iPad to amuse him while he was in the shower without my knowledge. The iPad is now completely ruined, and my dad is refusing to buy me a new one. He says, "How was I to know that it wasn't waterproof?" FML
I agree, your life sucks (35205) - you deserved it (2630)
On 09/22/2010 at 4:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Hovedstaden)
Today, I was at the store when I saw two extremely hot girls. I walked into their aisle and they looked at me and smiled. I stopped and pretended to look at something so I could listen to what they were saying. They started laughing and walked away. It turned out I was reading a box of tampons. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7677) - you deserved it (33799)
On 06/25/2010 at 8:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Wisconsin)
Today, I was talking to my best friend about a cute guy that girls are afraid to even speak to, so I then decided to march right up to him and say hello. When he smiled at me, I stood there with my mouth wide open, but I made non-coherent words. He asked me if I was a foreign exchange student. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5525) - you deserved it (16902)
On 03/02/2010 at 9:37pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
I agree, your life sucks (13083) - you deserved it (30692)
On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (38263) - you deserved it (1572)
On 01/06/2010 at 9:55am - misc - by driver (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, after months of trying to potty train my son, he finally told me he used the potty. I went to the bathroom to check. There was nothing there. So I asked him "Where did you go to the potty?". He then grabbed my hand and took me to the cat's litter box. My son has successfully litter trained himself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (24037) - you deserved it (2656)
On 11/16/2009 at 1:00am - kids - by anonymous (woman) - Japan (Okinawa)
Today, my mother said she trusted me enough to go with me for my first drive in my new car. As soon as we got in the car, she started hyperventilating and screaming we're going to crash. I didn't even start the engine. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27015) - you deserved it (2086)
On 10/10/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Berkshire)
Today, I woke up to the sounds of birds singing, the smell of butter pancakes in the air and thought to myself "Wow, today is going to be great day. I can feel it!" Excited, I jumped out of my bed and threw open the door to see my 58 year old mother doing her morning stretches in the nude. FML
I agree, your life sucks (35938) - you deserved it (3412)
On 08/25/2009 at 2:47am - animals - by MrMagicMan000 (man) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I saw a video of me last night, hammered, climbing my wardrobe screaming "I WANT TO GO TO NARNIA" naked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40095) - you deserved it (123024)
On 08/20/2009 at 10:39am - misc - by ShiriSarah (woman) - United Kingdom (London)
Today, my mom drove me to football practice. On the way she told me that she thought I was gay and that my friend was my lover. After 15 agonizing minutes of this, we get to my practice only to be greeted by my shirtless friend wearing a pink bandana saying "Man, you hit me hard last night." FML
I agree, your life sucks (64755) - you deserved it (5045)
On 08/10/2009 at 3:10am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Monday 20 May 2013
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