Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

soja

Offline (the 02/14/2015 at 3:58am) | Search for a member

soja

10Fucked!

sojasoja
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Saturday 23 February 1991 (24 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 881
  • Number of comments : 26
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

About soja : "Maybe we need to look at this world less like a square and more like a circle." -Jacob Hemphill

Reggae music is my life ❤

soja's page activity

Visits<b>jjmack34</b> - the 07/29/2015 at 12:47am<b>marshm610</b> - the 07/10/2015 at 2:29pm<b>spatula232</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 7:28am<b>britt2daknee</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 11:43am<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 12:35am<b>jackipdoc</b> - the 05/16/2015 at 7:40pm<b>jacky75</b> - the 03/30/2015 at 9:30am<b>sheshellbent</b> - the 03/03/2015 at 10:15pm<b>Railworker12</b> - the 02/26/2015 at 6:16am<b>zschul1118</b> - the 02/24/2015 at 8:12pm<b>michaelm1290</b> - the 02/15/2015 at 7:43pm<b>Nolimit2217</b> - the 02/13/2015 at 9:14am<b>michaelaranda</b> - the 02/07/2015 at 4:45am<b>lilauer13</b> - the 02/05/2015 at 8:27am<b>inowhtthefoxsays</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 6:06pm<b>AllKnowingTurtle</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 3:39pm<b>97mailo</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 2:53pm<b>Joshery</b> - the 02/03/2015 at 11:44am

Fucked!<b>spatula232</b> - the 06/13/2015 at 1:29pm<b>jjmack34</b> - the 06/12/2015 at 1:16am<b>britt2daknee</b> - the 06/06/2015 at 5:43pm<b>Aly_donawho</b> - the 05/25/2015 at 6:35am<b>mansfield_j</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 1:00am<b>byattwain</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 12:47am<b>Nathan23xx</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 12:36am<b>spockadelic</b> - the 01/07/2015 at 2:01am<b>seeoseek</b> - the 10/10/2014 at 5:11pm

soja's FML badges

What'cha looking at?

You have put three pictures on your profile, not necessarily pictures of your profile.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

Checking you out

You checked out the profile page belonging to one of the last people to have a look at your profile.

See all of soja's badges

soja's favorite FMLs

Today, I went to dinner at my parents' house. I was going to surprise them by introducing them to my new boyfriend. They decided to surprise me too, by inviting my ex to the dinner. Everyone was surprised tonight. FML

#21312253
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36956) - you deserved it (2848)

On 12/05/2014 at 10:35pm - love - by Michelle - United States (Maryland)

Today, I had to end a first date with the words, "You can get out of my car and go upstairs yourself, or I can come around and drag you out, bring you up the stairs, and knock on your door," because he'd gotten completely plastered in a span of about three hours. And yes, I had to drag him. FML

Today, I saw a cute guy and decided to say hi. As I started to think about things to talk about, one story in particular about a drummer who looked like Jesus stuck out in my mind. I was so nervous that instead of saying hi, I blurted out, "Some people look like Jesus!" and took off. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were having sex, and he was moaning a lot. My ego was quickly crushed, though, when I found out they were moans of pain due to a foot cramp. We had to stop so I could rub his foot better. FML

#21120108
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49567) - you deserved it (6231)

On 04/22/2014 at 6:21pm - intimacy - by only my life (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my 12-year-old sister watched Frozen. She's spent the last two hours playing the song Let It Go on high volume over and over, and in different languages. I now have a skull-splitting headache, and my dad just sarcastically told me to "let it go". FML

#21113787
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48749) - you deserved it (6291)

On 04/15/2014 at 3:24pm - kids - by fuckyouharddad - United States (California)

Today, I was watching TV, when I heard a blood-curdling scream from my boyfriend upstairs. It sounded like he was being murdered with a rusty fork, and I rushed to see what the hell was going on, hitting my shin against the stairs in the process. He'd stubbed his toe. FML

#21064600
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40076) - you deserved it (5408)

On 02/18/2014 at 4:15pm - health - by dating a pussy (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, due to the dry weather, my nose became dry and began to bleed so I plugged it with toilet paper and went about my business. Forgetting about it, I later went out to smoke a cigarette. Not paying attention, I lit the toilet paper on fire as well. FML

#21050725
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37276) - you deserved it (42460)

On 02/04/2014 at 9:48pm - health - by anonymous - United States

Today, my 7 year old daughter explained to a taxi driver that she was born from my "vagina that doesn't have hair". He winked creepily at me and said, "I bet it doesn't." FML

#20970485
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42105) - you deserved it (5220)

On 11/25/2013 at 6:42pm - misc - by jazopalchris (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was at the grocery store, when a little boy looked up at me and asked if I was a prostitute. FML

#20970235
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44049) - you deserved it (13218)

On 11/25/2013 at 2:47pm - kids - by Anonymous - United States (Mississippi)

Today, somebody broke into my car, just to steal the obviously fake $1,000,000 bill hanging from my rear-view mirror. FML

#20951747
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45239) - you deserved it (11138)

On 11/09/2013 at 6:27pm - money - by jsyn (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, it's the fourth day of my new diet. I told my friends and family to watch me every time I eat to make sure it's healthy. I got so desperate that I hid some chocolates in my pocket then scarfed them down while pooping. FML

#20941432
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17696) - you deserved it (45739)

On 11/01/2013 at 2:52pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my girlfriend asked me if I could love anything more than her, and if so, what. I guess "bacon" was the wrong answer. FML

#20936378
198 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27863) - you deserved it (41260)

On 10/28/2013 at 12:58am - love - by BaconLover - Japan

Today, my bully made me cry once again. It's been going on for weeks. I don't know who to turn to; I can't say anything because I'd get into even more trouble. He even stole my Nintendo 3DS and won't give it back. My bully is my girlfriend's son. He's 10. FML

#20904358
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31540) - you deserved it (51901)

On 10/02/2013 at 4:12am - kids - by PickedOnByDamien (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

#20904318
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42738) - you deserved it (5880)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:36am - animals - by BasketGhost - United States (New York)

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

#20900698
296 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64783) - you deserved it (26718)

On 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by -___- (woman) - United States (Illinois)



FML's blog

  • FML with pics? That's FML Pics
  • They say that a picture is worth a thousand words. We reckoned pictures could be worth 300 characters, which is why we launched FML Pics. The name says it all, really: it's an FML app, only with…

Monday 3 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: