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About soccerkid187 : luv to play soccer and hang with friends
How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, like every day, I used my phone while taking a dump. As I reached for some toilet paper to wipe myself, my sister pounded on the door for me to hurry up. I yelled "Fine," and without realizing it, wiped myself with my phone. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11820) - you deserved it (37390)
Today, I realized that the place that my brothers and I would find soggy balloons and blow them up when we were younger is where the prostitutes take their clients. We were blowing up used condoms for a good part of our childhood. FML
I agree, your life sucks (27522) - you deserved it (3367)
On 09/12/2011 at 12:15pm - intimacy - by IbetIgotAIDS (man) - United States (Kentucky)
Today, the girl I've been dating, and starting to fall in love with, walked out of the bathroom claiming we were going to be parents. I jumped off of the couch in disbelief, yelling, "Really?" She replied, "Really. I just gave birth to a huge dump baby." FML
I agree, your life sucks (31343) - you deserved it (5121)
On 09/11/2011 at 11:13am - misc - by CaseyFpC85 - United States (Florida)
Today, while at my boyfriend's house, my stomach began to hurt really badly, so I excused myself to take a shit. I let it all out. Later on, his dad went to the bathroom and yelled, "Goddamn son, what the hell did you do in here?!" FML
I agree, your life sucks (26077) - you deserved it (4732)
On 08/17/2011 at 12:40pm - misc - by EmbarrassedGirlfriend101 - United States
Today, I got my first period. My dad bought me a card and had everyone in my family sign it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42437) - you deserved it (3035)
On 08/24/2009 at 3:59pm - misc - by embarassed_chick (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I was making out with my girlfriend at her house. When things started heating up, I heard the front door open and my girlfriend said that it must be her Dad. She handed me my clothes, pushed me out the window, and told me to knock at the front door. Her Dad answered, holding my shoes. FML
I agree, your life sucks (26533) - you deserved it (12283)
On 08/24/2009 at 5:57am - intimacy - by Mattyboy (man) - United States (Texas)
Today, my work finally hired someone to replace some leaky pipes at work. I work in the basement by myself, and just as I walk under the newly fixed pipes, I get soaked with water. Apparently it was connected to a toilet. My boss couldn't find a replacement so they made me work covered in piss. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22468) - you deserved it (1242)
On 08/22/2009 at 11:29pm - work - by lifestinks (man) - United States (Nebraska)
Today, I went over to my girlfriend's house for dinner. Her parents seemed upset, so I tried to lighten the mood by saying, "Hey, at least the weekend is coming up and you guys won't have to go in for work." Apparently, they were upset because they both got laid off from their jobs today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (41027) - you deserved it (5769)
On 07/22/2009 at 6:05pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Kansas)
Today, I was driving on the freeway when I get a call from my friend explaining that our two best friends died in a car accident. I pulled over in hysterics and a cop came to see what was wrong. I explained what happened and he gave me a ticket for talking on the phone while driving. FML
I agree, your life sucks (77283) - you deserved it (9936)
On 07/22/2009 at 1:13pm - misc - by sadinseattle (woman) - United States (California)
Today, I was meeting the mayor of a major city as part of an internship program. Seated directly in front of him during his presentation on the budget crisis, he unleashed an enormous, foul fart in front of the entire audience. And then blamed it on me, everyone believed him. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42733) - you deserved it (1792)
On 07/18/2009 at 4:10pm - work - by justdoingmyjob (man) - United States (Florida)
Today, my mom gave me a talk on safe sex. During a three hour car ride. With my friends in the back seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42473) - you deserved it (2487)
On 07/18/2009 at 1:15pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)
Today, I found out my driver's license was suspended last year for a DUI ticket that wasn't paid. Apparently, someone had used my identity info to avoid the ticket on their record. The cops showed me the guy's picture taken when he was arrested. It was my brother. FML
I agree, your life sucks (40759) - you deserved it (1420)
On 07/18/2009 at 8:45am - misc - by nicefamily (man) - United States (Georgia)
Today, after my son's new friend spent the night, I commented on how his hair had such a straight line in it from one ear to the other. I joked about how he must have fallen asleep with headphones on, or had bad hat hair. He informed me it was a scar from brain surgery he had when he was younger. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9514) - you deserved it (39258)
On 07/18/2009 at 7:26am - misc - by insertfoothere (woman) - United States (California)
Today, after a night of partying, I woke up in the middle of my co-ed dorm lobby to the sound of giggles. I was in a thong with $1 monopoly bills sticking out. I'm a guy. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10822) - you deserved it (34391)
On 07/18/2009 at 2:03am - misc - by joedoe (man) - United States (California)
Today, I just found out that my current boyfriend and my ex-boyfriend are rooming together at college. Visits are going to be extremely awkward. FML
I agree, your life sucks (42291) - you deserved it (4732)
On 07/18/2009 at 12:21am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
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