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How depressing, no badges acquired at all. :/
Today, I was driving down the road at about 10pm, when the passenger in the car in front of me threw something out the window. The object flew towards and landed directly on my windshield. It was a condom. A used condom. It wasn't tied. Semen spreads out quite a bit when you're driving fast. FML
I agree, your life sucks (106386) - you deserved it (5372)
On 05/03/2009 at 5:17pm - misc - by Aether (man) - United States (Michigan)
Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14829) - you deserved it (69793)
On 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was taking the subway to work when I saw a really hot girl. Noticing that she, like me, had a Dunkin' Donuts coffee, I tried to start a conversation by saying, "Is that Double Ds you have there?" She didn't pick up that I was talking about the coffee. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14829) - you deserved it (69793)
On 04/29/2009 at 6:46pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)
Today, I was petsitting for my neighbor's new puppy. A huge thunderstorm came, and the puppy started whining and shivering violently. I pulled it into my lap to try and comfort it. One loud clap of thunder later, and the puppy had explosive diarrhea all over me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (73411) - you deserved it (6235)
On 04/16/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by Puppysit88 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76572) - you deserved it (13456)
On 04/01/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by highleyj (man) - United States (California)
Today, I ran to a public bathroom because of explosive diarrhea. In the middle of it, I noticed there was no more toilet paper nor paper towels remaining. The smallest bill in my wallet was a 5. I had to pay 10 dollars to wipe my own butt. FML
I agree, your life sucks (76572) - you deserved it (13456)
On 04/01/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by highleyj (man) - United States (California)
Today, I was at a sandwich shop and couldn't help but secretly remove a loose hair from a girl standing in front of me. I yanked it and she instantly began screaming and crying. It was in fact a very long mole hair. The thing started bleeding like a gunshot wound. My apologies went unnoticed. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32983) - you deserved it (114533)
On 03/22/2009 at 3:45pm - misc - by Mason_Jayson - United States (Iowa)
Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (58355) - you deserved it (40965)
On 03/16/2009 at 12:39am - intimacy - by whatdoyoudo (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)
Today, my cat was in the bathroom with me. I was getting undressed to get into the shower. My cat looked at me after I'd undressed and then threw up all over the rug. FML
I agree, your life sucks (110059) - you deserved it (14731)
On 03/12/2009 at 6:08pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)
Today, it was my birthday. My girlfriend bought me a Nickelback CD. FML
I agree, your life sucks (74725) - you deserved it (21213)
On 03/10/2009 at 8:46am - misc - by deez_nutz (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML
I agree, your life sucks (40587) - you deserved it (6413)
On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, I found FML for the first time in class, and literally laughed out loud in the middle of the lecture in front of 200 classmates. Today's lecture? The cruelties of slavery. FML
I agree, your life sucks (22444) - you deserved it (20301)
On 02/03/2009 at 5:55pm - work - by kprice6 (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I sprayed hair spray under my arms instead of anti-perspirant. I didn't realize it until I went to put my shirt on and couldn't raise my arms. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11403) - you deserved it (8218)
On 01/21/2009 at 3:06pm - love - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)
Friday 24 May 2013
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