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soccerhunnii9023

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soccerhunnii9023
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  • Number of visits : 1073
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  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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soccerhunnii9023's favorite FMLs

Today, I was looking over the schedule for errors and circled a group of mistakes before handing it to my manager. When she handed it back to me, she gave me a weird look and I immediately noticed that the group of numbers I had circled formed a giant penis shape on the paper. FML

#4525349
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32888) - you deserved it (707)

On 08/14/2009 at 1:01pm - work - by dumblond (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out my husband had bought my 1-year-old daughter a shirt that says "Birth Control Fail" in pink glittery letters. He even took her out in it while I was at work. FML

#4525246
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52605) - you deserved it (5719)

On 08/14/2009 at 12:57pm - kids - by ohgod (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I found out I have an option on my phone to postpone the sending of my text messages. I thought it would be cute to send my boyfriend texts saying, " I love you and sweet dreams" every night at midnight for a month. He broke up with me and I can't figure out how to stop the texts. FML

#4276088
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31457) - you deserved it (20861)

On 08/04/2009 at 4:26am - misc - by Optimist - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I went to a bookstore and asked the sales woman,"Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose. FML

#4271664
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14453) - you deserved it (37837)

On 08/04/2009 at 12:45am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up random names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59550) - you deserved it (12167)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend wanted to name my penis. After 5 minutes of thinking up random names, she finally picked one. Say hello to Squirtle. FML

#4201087
390 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59550) - you deserved it (12167)

On 08/01/2009 at 3:44am - love - by NinjaPanda88 (man) - United States (California)

Today, my friends had ditched me for a party I hadn't been invited to so I was sitting home alone. The only other thing in my house was the mosquito I nicknamed Fred. I liked to watch Fred fly around and try to suck my blood. 20 minutes later, I found Fred's dead body. I was actually sad. FML

#4158002
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49640) - you deserved it (13466)

On 07/30/2009 at 10:43am - animals - by dumbo (man) - United States (Virginia) - moderated by the Jackass crew

Today, I got very dressed up and was excited for my uncle's wedding. While standing in line for photos, I heard my dad's voice from behind me say "Who's the hot chick in the brown dress?" My uncle responds "Uh, that's your daughter." Silence. FML

#3967657
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61090) - you deserved it (3614)

On 07/23/2009 at 12:26am - misc - by Rory (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my manager came in and said "Hey Alice, great job closing so well last night. NOT." and walked off. When I heard the door shut, I said "And great job being a bitch, you cow." I heard my manager walking back towards me. She wasn't the one who left the room. FML

#3944960
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14417) - you deserved it (37340)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:03am - work - by Alice (woman) - United States

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

#3796227
569 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24374) - you deserved it (77973)

On 07/16/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by notawizard (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

#3796227
569 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24374) - you deserved it (77973)

On 07/16/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by notawizard (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)

Today, my daughter turned 11. Since she LOVES Harry Potter, I decided to write her an acceptance letter to Hogwarts. When she saw the letter, she screamed and showed me. When she found out I wrote it, she told me she hated me, started crying, and stepped on my foot. FML

#3796227
569 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24374) - you deserved it (77973)

On 07/16/2009 at 6:16am - kids - by notawizard (woman) - Spain (Catalonia)



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