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Submit your FML story

  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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soccer060

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soccer060
  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 266
  • Number of comments : 16
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 6 posted

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soccer060's favorite FMLs

Today, my house got watermeloned. Not egged, watermeloned. FML

#17564993 (119)

I agree, your life sucks (28189) - you deserved it (2164)

On 08/24/2011 at 1:28am - misc - by skichick54 - United States (Washington)

Today, while using the restroom at McDonald's, a hand reached under my stall and took the remaining toilet paper. FML

#17307885 (254)

I agree, your life sucks (28237) - you deserved it (2489)

On 07/30/2011 at 10:07am - misc - by ewww - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML

#8775610 (202)

I agree, your life sucks (17497) - you deserved it (1491)

On 03/02/2010 at 4:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I halted a cab. It was 12 degrees and snowing outside. When I went to get in, a man shoved me away and I slipped on ice into dirty snow slush, and he stole my cab. As it drove off, the man flipped me off. FML

#8469374 (120)

I agree, your life sucks (21394) - you deserved it (1314)

On 02/20/2010 at 3:20am - misc - by deadandwasted (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realised the only guy who is showing any slight interest in me is a Nazi-obsessed psychopath. He uses lovely pick up lines such as "Hey, do you know how much it hurts to staple your hand?" FML

#8368269 (162)

I agree, your life sucks (18413) - you deserved it (1616)

On 02/17/2010 at 5:49am - love - by LoveDrug (woman) - Ireland

Today, my boyfriend wanted to have Valentine's Day sex. He then remembered it was unlimited pancakes at IHOP. FML

#8246402 (127)

I agree, your life sucks (11504) - you deserved it (1985)

On 02/14/2010 at 11:31am - intimacy - by DallasGal (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend decided to name his penis "Jesus". For the last two hours he's been continuously asking if I "want to be touched by Jesus" or will I "let Jesus in to spread his warmth." FML

#8119072 (323)

I agree, your life sucks (12079) - you deserved it (3159)

On 02/11/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by syl - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got rear-ended. In possibly the scariest part of downtown. At night. By a man who spoke hardly any English but managed to ask if I would go out dancing with him instead of calling my insurance company. FML

#7868479 (108)

I agree, your life sucks (20252) - you deserved it (1426)

On 02/04/2010 at 1:34am - misc - by city_girl (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I had to explain to my son that his dad was too busy in a raid on World of Warcraft to be at his award ceremony. FML

#7816615 (628)

I agree, your life sucks (35461) - you deserved it (28277)

On 02/02/2010 at 3:30pm - kids - by fuckmylife (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was walking by a pond when I saw a small frog. I decided to catch it to get a close look. After I picked it up, I realized that it was not a frog. It was dog shit shaped like a frog. FML

#7776158 (110)

I agree, your life sucks (8263) - you deserved it (22895)

On 02/01/2010 at 9:34am - animals - by adad - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was in an elevator, and the hot girl who lives in my building and who I have a crush on got in. She was in a wheelchair with a broken leg, I panicked and tried to flirt with her, and I said 'Nice chair.' She replied 'Nice bruise' and punched me in the nuts. FML

#7766878 (224)

I agree, your life sucks (8218) - you deserved it (32045)

On 02/01/2010 at 12:15am - love - by Liam. - Sent from mobile version

Today, my little brother was playing with my cat, getting it to chase a laser pointer. He thought it would be funny to shine the laser pointer over my nuts. FML

#7760741 (121)

I agree, your life sucks (18104) - you deserved it (2069)

On 01/31/2010 at 10:16pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML

#7562154 (77)

I agree, your life sucks (7652) - you deserved it (12945)

On 01/25/2010 at 1:33am - health - by nyu (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I went to a Japanese restaurant. While the chef is throwing food at us, I'm getting ready for my turn. He tosses the piece of broccoli at me, I lean back to catch it, completely falling off my chair. I knocked everything over and had the packed restaurant laughing at me. FML

#7534746 (64)

I agree, your life sucks (11819) - you deserved it (4865)

On 01/24/2010 at 12:21am - misc - by ashley_skillz06 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was pondering the meaning of life - why I'm here, why anyone is here, why go on, and whether it's worth it... Then it hit me. The football in the head, not the meaning of life. FML

#7529834 (155)

I agree, your life sucks (6563) - you deserved it (13623)

On 01/23/2010 at 9:14pm - misc - by ceedee - United States (California)