Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

sneakattacked

Offline (8 hours ago) | Search for a member

sneakattacked

2Liked!

  • Town/Country : ,
  • Title : Miss
  • Birth Date : Friday 8 April 1994 (20 years)
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 1699
  • Number of comments : 7
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 12 posted

About sneakattacked : What do you call a computer superhero?

A screensaver

sneakattacked's page activity

Visits<b>Darkness_Hate</b> - 24 hours ago<b>michaelm1290</b> - yesterday at 2:49pm<b>El_Boxeador</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 3:08am<b>jazzybrar</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 2:54am<b>foxwasalamb</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 2:54am<b>swampbaby985</b> - the 01/30/2015 at 2:48am<b>firelegend</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 9:31pm<b>ImagineCrazy</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 6:10am<b>truestoryjames</b> - the 01/29/2015 at 1:32am<b>whos_ur_daddy1</b> - the 01/25/2015 at 1:59pm<b>Austrand22</b> - the 01/14/2015 at 4:32am<b>PicanteSeed</b> - the 01/12/2015 at 12:18am<b>SirRipsABong420</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 10:35pm<b>rhysfucker</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 9:45am<b>GrimReefer66</b> - the 01/11/2015 at 4:06am<b>MARGIE9</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 11:37am<b>ahlissuh</b> - the 01/10/2015 at 1:42am<b>stevenJB</b> - the 01/09/2015 at 2:16pm

Liked!<b>jemmett2</b> - the 12/11/2014 at 5:43pm<b>ChloeLentin</b> - the 05/13/2014 at 1:18pm

sneakattacked's FML badges

The Mixer

You like to live life randomly, and we salute you.

I like your style

You've liked someone. How cute!

An insomniac or a creature of the dark

You commented on an FML between 1 and 3 am.

See all of sneakattacked's badges

sneakattacked's favorite FMLs

Today, during a family game of basketball, my 15 year old son shoved me hard to get the ball. I fell and cut my arm badly on the ground. I yelled at him for being an idiot. He replied "Oh jeez, a bleeding woman being a bitch, what a fucking shocker." My husband doubled over laughing. FML

#21342921
258 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36330) - you deserved it (6597)

On 01/23/2015 at 2:25pm - kids - by nosexforthee (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first handjob. I was nervous, so when she went to do it, I panicked and yelled, "Firmly grasp it!" She then couldn't stop laughing because it was a line from SpongeBob. FML

Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML

#21332650
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29545) - you deserved it (2332)

On 01/07/2015 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Sri Lanka

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34372) - you deserved it (6141)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)

Today, my mom found my dildo, and got so angry that she beat me with it. FML

#21309415
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45491) - you deserved it (11771)

On 12/01/2014 at 12:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for several moments stunned, still pooping. FML

#21308801
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32824) - you deserved it (4231)

On 11/30/2014 at 2:32pm - misc - by pooplife - United Kingdom (Nottingham)

Today, I had a dream that I kicked the moon like a soccer ball. It started swearing in my boyfriend's voice. That part wasn't a dream. FML

#21300835
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28733) - you deserved it (3447)

On 11/17/2014 at 5:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my boyfriend broke the bed pretending to be a caterpillar. FML

#21300031
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28385) - you deserved it (3335)

On 11/16/2014 at 4:44am - love - by tine - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my dad got so drunk that he forgot my name. He started calling me "It". FML

#21295011
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35175) - you deserved it (2818)

On 11/08/2014 at 9:36pm - misc - by ItGirl - Sweden (Sodermanlands Lan)

Today, I managed to convince my sister that when you press down the diet button on the lid of a McDonald's cup it turns whatever is in there diet. I pressed the button and she started shouting how she hates diet drinks. She's 19. FML

#21292789
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28923) - you deserved it (3327)

On 11/05/2014 at 4:25pm - misc - by aineroo (woman) - Ireland (Galway)

Today, I watched as the teenage neighbor girl tried to parallel-park between me and my wife's cars. She was doing pretty well until she backed into mine, got scared, hit the accelerator and ran into my wife's. FML

#21287621
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40094) - you deserved it (3050)

On 10/29/2014 at 11:24am - misc - by carless - United States

Today, at my apartment complex, I was carrying a bag of trash up to the dumpster. A guy stopped his car and helped me carry it the rest of the way. I thanked him and he asked me out. I explained that I was married. He grabbed the trash bag and carried it back to my apartment. FML

#21285821
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35848) - you deserved it (3960)

On 10/26/2014 at 6:46pm - love - by mellielynnemily - United States

Today, I was giving lifeguard instructions to a couple of teens. When I quizzed them about what they should do when someone is choking, one of them said, "Take a step back" and winked at me. FML

#21282836
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32268) - you deserved it (3370)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:18pm - work - by Australian Lifeguard - United States (Arizona)

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38565) - you deserved it (7315)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend in the missionary position. Once again, our cat decided to crawl onto his back and stare at me. FML

#21276776
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35546) - you deserved it (5157)

On 10/13/2014 at 6:20am - intimacy - by Drafrica (woman) - South Africa



Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Ronald Grandpey's illustrated FML
  • Hello everyone, how's it going? You doing OK? Friday is the right time to get your glad rags on, go out, meet your friends, have a drink, get your freak on, shoot the breeze, shoot some hoops, don't shoot…

Friday 30 January 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: