About smsdj : I'm a girl that adores Nirvana and Depeche Mode. Pianist. I have 3 cats and one awesome dog. I'm not judgmental- I'm for LGBTQ rights c:
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smsdj's favorite FMLs
Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML
by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm / United Kingdom / Kids
by Anonymous / 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML
by Anonymous / 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous
by datgurllllukno / 10/15/2014 at 2:26am / United States / Intimacy
Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML
by ForeverAlone / 10/14/2014 at 8:13pm / United States (South Dakota) / Love
by Anonymous / 10/14/2014 at 2:57pm / United States (Florida) / Love
by longdrive / 10/14/2014 at 1:17am / United States (California) / Transportation
by clumsylobster / 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm / Australia (Western Australia) / Health
Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with my crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again FML
by Anonymous / 10/13/2014 at 11:42am / Australia (South Australia) / Kids
by badplacerightnow / 10/13/2014 at 10:15am / United States (Texas) / Intimacy
Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML
Today, as always, I have Tourette's syndrome. It causes me to occasionally make a beeping noise. My boyfriend just figured out that if he beeps back, it makes me beep again. He thinks it's hilarious and won't stop. FML
by Beeper / 10/11/2014 at 3:07pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by SeriousJoker72 / 10/10/2014 at 9:17pm / Canada (Manitoba) / Health
by IncompatibleMetier / 10/09/2014 at 7:07pm / France / Health
Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML
by PickYourselfUp / 10/05/2014 at 11:17pm / United States (Virginia) / Health
- Today, I’m in China, and I took my Golden Retriever to the groomer’s to get him cleaned up, because… Today, I’m in Thailand and I met a monk. The conversation was so deep and interesting that, without… Today, on my way home to Bordeaux after a weekend in Paris, I had the pleasure of being sat next to…