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smsdj

Offline (the 10/19/2014 at 7:42pm) | Search for a member

smsdj

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  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Single
  • Number of visits : 656
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 2 posted

About smsdj : I'm a girl that adores Nirvana and Depeche Mode. Pianist. I have 3 cats and one awesome dog. I'm not judgmental- I'm for LGBTQ rights c:

smsdj's page activity

Visits<b>Mfroz</b> - the 03/18/2014 at 5:40am<b>mathen</b> - the 03/11/2014 at 10:35am

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smsdj's favorite FMLs

Today, my 9-year-old daughter was acting out and wouldn't do her homework. I told her that if she didn't study, she wouldn't get her acceptance letter from Hogwarts. She looked into my eyes, straight through to my soul and said, "Hogwarts isn't real, retard." FML

#21280509
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34207) - you deserved it (12229)

On 10/18/2014 at 3:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my psycho mom walked in while I was chilling and having fun with some friends. She kicked them out and now wants to drug test me, because "Nobody's that happy without drugs". FML

#21280487
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38149) - you deserved it (2558)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I was leading a tour of my university and saw a girl in ripped jeans and combat boots smoking a cigarette. I told her that she shouldn't be representing the school in such a manner. She shot back: "I'm a Presidential Scholar. Suck my dick, bitch." FML

#21278356
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25818) - you deserved it (52007)

On 10/15/2014 at 1:07pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, while having sex with my boyfriend, I discovered that I climax sooner if I think about pretzels. Yes, pretzels. The food product. I'll never be able to eat them again. FML

#21278160
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34562) - you deserved it (4589)

On 10/15/2014 at 2:26am - intimacy - by datgurllllukno (woman) - United States

Today, before work, I was quickly cleaning when I tripped and the side of my neck hit the countertop, causing a dark bruise. During work, people wouldn't stop giving me high fives for getting laid and I was too embarrassed to tell them truth that I'm not desirable, just clumsy. FML

#21277907
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30357) - you deserved it (3162)

On 10/14/2014 at 8:13pm - misc - by ForeverAlone - United States (South Dakota)

Today, I got called to the guidance office, only to be told my boyfriend broke up with me. He wasn't sure how to break the news to me, so he made my guidance counselor do it for him. FML

#21277708
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42114) - you deserved it (2949)

On 10/14/2014 at 2:57pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I left for a fifteen-hour drive with two guys who won't stop talking in a Yoda voice. Sick of this nonsense, I am. FML

#21277425
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32940) - you deserved it (4455)

On 10/14/2014 at 1:17am - misc - by longdrive - United States (California)

Today, my friends and I went paintballing. The instructor showed us the sound of an unloaded gun by shooting at my face. It wasn't unloaded. FML

#21277056
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44572) - you deserved it (2961)

On 10/13/2014 at 5:33pm - health - by clumsylobster - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my wife pressed a button in the elevator and quickly ran out, leaving me in there with my crying baby. When the elevator arrived at the floor, the doors opened on a wedding reception. The doors couldn't have taken any longer to close again FML

#21276854
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35065) - you deserved it (3219)

On 10/13/2014 at 11:42am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, it's the first birthday of the condom in my pocket. FML

#21276832
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37563) - you deserved it (7238)

On 10/13/2014 at 10:15am - intimacy - by badplacerightnow (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML

#21276741
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34595) - you deserved it (3224)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:13am - animals - by MissBeyoncé - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I woke up to find that my acne has lined itself beautifully in a perfect 'L' shape in the centre of my forehead. FML

Today, was the day I would turn my life around and start losing weight. I went outside for my first run and said, "I got this!" I confidently stepped forward, the first symbolic steps to my new life. In the anticipation, I forgot my porch had steps. I face-planted on my driveway. FML

#21271662
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36405) - you deserved it (7252)

On 10/05/2014 at 11:17pm - health - by PickYourselfUp (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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